


Love Always Wins in the End

by AyceInquisitor



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Catra is a Zuko-tier anti-hero and I'm going to treat her as such, F/F, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Gen, I'm definitely exploring themes here, Mental Health Issues, Rated for language and strong themes, Realities of war (war is ugly), Redemption, Retconning the Horse because he gives me bad vibes, Season 1 Spoilers, Timeskip, Will tag triggers, Will update tags, adult characters, focus on recovery from trauma and abuse, hopefully, mention and focus on scars, mentions of abuse, post-Season 1, self-harm (technically), slow-burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-10-13 13:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 76,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17489162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AyceInquisitor/pseuds/AyceInquisitor
Summary: A lot has happened. Too much, arguably. The war only escalated with the reemergence of She-Ra, the Horde getting more aggressive as the Princess Alliance continues to push the borders and reclaim territory. A secret arms race has broken out for First One's tech. Hordak has been using every opportunity that presents itself, using Catra and her team as the instruments of his will. He firmly believes her hatred reinforces her loyalty to him.But he underestimated the all-conquering power of love, as all hatemongers do. Cause love always wins in the end.This is going to follow a storyline that I believe could reasonably happen. Things got worse before they start getting better between Adora and Catra, and starts with Catra beginning her path of redemption after coming to terms with her self-hate issues and past trauma. These women have shit they gotta work through and it's not gonna happen overnight. I hope to explore that as best I can, with research.Sept 2019: I'm really sorry about the leap of silence, there's been a lot that has been taking priority in my life. Will get back to this ASAP, thanks for your patience!





	1. What Matters Most

**Author's Note:**

> So, like I wrote in the summary, this is my first serious fanfiction. I've never been super comfortable writing fanfic or drawing fanart, but it took me less than 2 days to fall completely in love with She-Ra and, of course, Catradora.
> 
> A few important things to note before diving in.  
> *In the show, I see Adora and Catra to be coded as adults. This show seems to play on serious themes, so I see no reason why they would have MINORS in charge of a military unit of a tyrannical+dictatorial dystopia-esque empire. You know what kind of evil ruler does that? Stupid rulers who don't care about winning wars. If they come out to be canonly under an adult age, they're old enough that I can confidently say that by this point in time (basically skipping over whatever season 2 is gonna be) they are adults. I hope that sounds fair.  
> *The Horse, Swiftwind? I feel like maybe his character is satirical but I just... I get really bad vibes from him, not mentioning he also feel likes a big ex-machina. I also don't want to write him, so I'm retconning him.  
> *The OCs involved are basically just plot devices, because there are a limited amount of characters within the She-Ra canon.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!

It just wasn’t worth it.

 

She had always known it, too, didn’t she? But no, she was spiteful and heartbroken. The praise of strangers would have meant nothing to her and she would only have her presence suffered for Adora’s sake… right? They only accepted the defecting Horde soldier because she was actually some long lost Princess of legend? Even if she had gone with her… it’d be the same tale in a new book.

 

Staring down at the Horde-styled faceplate in her hands, Catra acknowledged nothing around her, her eyes glassy and out of focus as she sat in her own thoughts. The absolute abyssal silence and chilling air never held anything worth paying attention to, anyway. It ate at her worse than anything she could ever tell herself.

 

It reminded her of everything she had lost.

 

Thoughts fell backwards. Fucking— weeks ago, but it felt as clear as the unpolluted skies beyond the Fright Zone. Back to her last encounter with Adora. The one that broke through. The one that prompted Catra to take her first steps in turning against the Horde.

 

Suddenly, all that bottled confusion and rage came exploding outwards like a volcanic eruption. With a throat-ripping scream, her hands gripped the disgusting red metal as tightly as possible before chucking it across the room with everything she had, hoping the cursed fucking thing would break.

 

The throw had left her stumbling forward and to her knees. Her hands held her hanging head as she sobbed everything out like she’s never done before. Her reservations, her blind aspirations, the lies that she let be spoon-fed to her by everyone— including herself. It was easier to just… accept it. She had no idea how to cope with her loss, and she _hated_ being so… weak. That was the lie. Her attachments made her weak. Her attachments held her back. Her attachments were the cause of all her suffering.

 

But she was _wrong._ Catra had figured that out some time between then and… and her assault on Bright Moon. All of it was wrong but she just… she wasn’t ready. Did Adora know she wasn’t ready? To forgive her? Did she know what she had to work through?

 

A scoff cut through her quieting sobs. Did Adora know her better than she knew herself? _...Almost,_ Catra admitted. Almost as well as she knows herself.

 

Was she ready _now,_ though? That was the million dollar question. Rubbing her eyes dry, Catra looked up at where she had thrown her faceplate. As expected, it didn’t shatter like glass, despite her hopes, and she stared at it a little while longer. The answer was on repeat in her head, but she was just working up the nerve.

 

Finally, after basically _forever,_ Catra rose to her feet and restored her composure. Her strides became more confident with each step, and the only thing that she left in that room was everything that damn chunk of metal represented.

 

* * *

 

_A heavy silence hung over the rival pair, both battered, bruised and suffering still-bleeding cuts. Panting harshly as their eyes never left the other’s. Each held something tightly in a hand. For She-Ra, it was her sword._

 

_For Catra, it was something arguably far more important. The very thing they were currently fighting over. It held far more meaning than Adora could ever hope to understand._

 

_“Why, Catra?” the giant princess asked, bewildered. “Why go this far, for the Horde?”_

 

_Spitting out a blob of blood to the ground, Catra hissed out, “As if you cared. I’m so sick of your self-righteous rhetoric. Of all your babbling about morals and love when it means absolutely nothing.” There was always so much more she wanted to say, most of it conflicting everything that she chose to leave her mouth. Her tongue sat tightly between her teeth when she wasn’t speaking or fighting. “You’re still missing the whole goddamn point.”_

 

_Such an uncharacteristic scowl twisted its way onto her face, filled with offense and venom. It hurt to look at, but Catra kept her gaze even, glaring back with just as much passion._

 

 _“No, Catra._ You’re _missing the point. It’s delusional to think that the Horde will ever see you as more than a pawn. To think Shadow Weaver would_ ever _see you the same disgusting way she saw me. We both know that you’ve been given something fake and hollow by them. They don’t love you,” she said, dragging every word across sandpaper._

 

_It took a moment for Catra to decide what she wanted to say to that. How she wanted to say it. How it made her feel. It didn’t matter, she didn’t get a chance to respond. “Not like Entrapta and Scorpia do.”_

 

 _That provoked wide eyes and a stunned look. As always, Adora cuts straight through to the core. The little hard-to-get game she made them play had gradually worn down her patience for it. “Seriously, Adora?! Do you really think I’m so fucking stupid? I’ve already figured that out!” Catra clenched her fist tighter around the small device. “This is for_ me! _With this stupid thing, I’ll finally be free of you. Of your ghost, taunting me incessantly. I’ll finally feel like I’m someone who matters!”_

 

_Catra didn’t realize it herself, at first. Not until that scowl softened into an absolute gut-wrenching shocked look of heartbreak. Then it clicked, and the floodgates opened._

 

 _She really_ was _that fucking stupid, it seems._

 

_“Catra—”_

 

 _“SHUT UP!” she screeched, cutting her off. A coughing fit followed after it. Her free hand grabbed at her chest as she doubled over in pain, a few droplets of blood falling into the beaten earth. It took only a moment to recover from it, looking back up at the familiar concerned look on Adora’s face. “Did you really think I cared about the Horde? My loyalty was never to the stupid fucking—  It was to me! To you! To_ us! _”_

 

_When She-Ra vanished and Adora emerged, dropping her sword, there was a certain… look in her eyes. It pierced right through every layer of defense Catra has ever had and looked right into her soul. She couldn’t bite her tongue anymore._

 

 _“You left me for dead! You never realized the fact that I wouldn’t be the one anybody cared about, no matter where we went! I had to claw my way out of that hole that your perfect fucking personality put me in. I_ had _to be worth something on my own! I couldn’t leave with you because everything you said to me only made me realize that you didn’t know me like I thought you did.” Catra barely registered the tears now flowing freely down her face, mingling with the dripping blood and falling to the ground together with it._

 

_Adora was silent, so Catra let herself keep going. “You didn’t realize that things wouldn’t be different with the rebellion. You abandoned the Horde for strangers and not for me, and proved that you really did have no idea what things were like for me. I couldn’t forgive you… I wasn’t ready.”_

 

_That last part visibly perked Adora. She watched something click in her eyes. A silence hung over them the next moment, as the expression on her face shifted continuously with her thoughts. Then she spoke, “You always mattered. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that’s how you felt. I’m sorry that I was so stupid and blind. Catra, I would’ve done anything for you. I promised you that I’d look out for you. Nothing bad could really happen as long as we had each other, right?”_

 

_Catra’s expression turned into a snarl. That fucking promise. “Sorry doesn’t fix anything, Adora.”_

 

_Nodding, she continued. “I know. I know I broke that promise, too. But I knew you would be okay without me anyway. I didn’t tell anybody about Entrapta. If I did, they’d try to take her away from you. If I couldn’t be the one to look out for you, I at least had someone who could.”_

 

_That in itself sent a message so strong, her legs wobbled and gave out. Catra hit the dirt on her scratched up knees. The sting didn’t matter. Words weren’t working, she was just breathing out half-baked syllables until she fell silent again. When had she learned Entrapta was still alive? Eyes still on Adora, she watched a small smile form._

 

_“I understand now, Catra. You don’t need to endanger the planet to get what you want. You already have it. You made your own friends. Friends who look up to you, friends who care about you, friends who make you stronger inside and out. Doesn’t that already make you worth something? Where would those two be without you?” Adora stopped talking, but Catra couldn’t see past the tears to tell what words were on her face. “We can start over, too. I can do it right by you this time. But only if you want to. I can’t force you to forgive me, to come with me. I can’t ask you to abandon your friends, either. You’ve grown a lot since I left. So here’s my offer: if you choose to defect and join me, I’ll convince everyone to accept you. I’ll make sure you don’t regret the choice. I’d sooner leave them than abandon you again. You don’t need the Horde, Catra, but if you want to stay there… I’ll forgive you anyway.”_

 

_There was more to pay attention to between the lines of Adora’s proposition. Everything she said was right. Having the friendship of those two knuckleheads made her feel better whenever she received scolding and threats from the Horde. Giving her security.They were the ones who picked her up, even if they didn’t notice that’s what they did. Adora, too… Fuck her indestructible warm heart! Was she even ready for that? It was so much effort than it was worth to try and try to hate Adora. It never worked. That offer promised everything she could have ever wanted. She believed everything Adora said._

 

_Raising the First One’s tech in her hand from where it laid limp beside her, it’s three-dimensional form akin to a multi-sided die but still looked so fragile. Putting it on the ground, Catra rose to her feet and walked a couple yards to grab her previously long-forgotten weapon and came back to the device. Adora didn’t move, just watched._

 

_Gripping it tightly with both hands, Catra raised the weapon and with extreme precision, put all of the energy she had left in her body into smashing it. Tossing it aside again, she didn’t spare it another glance, instead looking up at her former best friend with an unintelligible look._

 

_“...Thanks, Adora.” Looking away, she didn't need to see her face to know exactly what it looked like. She had just destroyed something far too dangerous to exist, something the Horde desperately wanted. If she went back to them, she’d have to lie. “...Take care of yourself.”_

 

_Head down, Catra turned around and began walking away. She wasn’t ready. Not yet. There was too much to think about. She couldn’t possibly make such a decision right then and there._

 

_The walk was long, but it didn’t matter. Everything was numb. Thoughts were too foggy to understand and she just trudged along until she was found and picked up._

 

_Catra prayed that Adora really would forgive her._

 

* * *

 

Powering up the shuttle docked in the hangar in the dead of night, Catra sat at the pilot’s seat getting everything warmed up and ready to go. Entrapta wanted to bring as much of her research as possible, which Scorpia was currently helping her load the last of onto the ship.

 

It was easy to convince them to leave with her. Their exact words were, “Wherever you go, we go.” She had only just barely held composure. The feeling that those words gave her were… indescribable.

 

Entrapta’s raspy voice cut a hacked line right through her thought bubble. “Everything’s good to go, Catra!” Following that was the sound of the ramp lifting up and sealing. Suddenly, a blur of purple bounded over the co-pilot chair’s armrest and the shuttle started rising off the ground and leaving the hangar.

 

Nobody relaxed until the Fright Zone was well beyond the horizon line. For the entire time, Catra said nothing, having already buried herself deep into her own thoughts. Coming up with contingency plans in case Adora couldn’t keep up her end of the bargain. Plans for how exactly she will approach the Rebellion. Plans for what she’s going to say to Adora— that particular topic had a lot of imaginative results, many of which were kinda not good. There hadn’t been any encounters with Adora directly since that last fight, but it certainly wasn’t the last sabotage she made because of something Adora made her feel and realize.

 

Almost immediately as the tension faded away, Scorpia piped up, “Oh this is so exciting! I never really liked the Horde, they were really mean, so I’m glad we’re leaving!”

 

Entrapta snorted. “Yeah, no kidding. It was incredibly satisfying and inspiring to have such access to other technology and learn so much from it. Such a huge collection to look through and tinker and experiment with— Oh, it was wonderful. However, the strings attached were, in fact, unsuitable for proper creative ingenuity to flourish after the initial euphoria. A really stifling place, the Fright Zone. Oh! That reminds me! I also downloaded a variety of Horde schematics and intelligence before we left. I figured that if we’re defecting then the Rebellion will need something as a gesture of goodwill. If not for you, Catra, then for me as well. They probably won’t be very happy to find that I had been supplying their enemy with my talents.”

 

Catra didn’t completely understand everything she said, but got a good gist of it. Especially the stolen Horde stuff. That gave her a little bit more breathing room in her brain’s endless need to strategize everything. At least it won’t get her executed on the spot, after everything she’s done. Hopefully.

 

One of her hands quickly rose to rest gently on her chest, heart suddenly physically pained by the emotional wave that hit her. What if she can’t be forgiven for all of it? What if everything she had done during her broody phase of self-exploration and confusion added up to something too high? What if she was walking to her own demise?

 

What if Adora didn’t save her?

 

“Oh! Oh! Catra!” Jerking to the other side of the seat from Scorpia’s sudden voice, the— now former— Force Captain immediately regained composure and swatted those depressing thoughts away. “What do you think Bright Moon would be like on the INSIDE? Oh! Wait! Do you think they’d let _me_ join the Princess Alliance? Wait, I think I need to apologize to a few of them before that. Like the ice one. We blew up her palace. I wonder if she’s still mad at me…”

 

As the overeager woman kept prattling on about ‘princess’ this and ‘princess’ that, Catra’s mind was occupied with the ‘we blew up her palace’ part. Besides the fact that it was another sin that needed to be forgiven, there was… more that came to mind. Stuff that she _definitely_ didn’t want to start thinking about before she would have a chance to even get her hopes up about it. Willing down both the memories and the rising blush, Catra aimed to focus on something incredibly specific.

 

At first she tried to listen to the other two talk about… whatever they were talking about, but it was too much brainpower to effectively follow. Though that failed, it did give her something else to think about. How Adora was right. These two were risking their lives and security with the Horde as princesses for her. Some abrasive and anti-authority troublemaker who rose from obscurity only because of her relationship with Adora/She-Ra. She was a nobody and they were somebodies, but they still chose her.

 

Catra wanted nothing more than for Adora to choose her, too.

 

* * *

 

It was several hours before Dryl came into sight. It was smaller than Catra imagined, though it made sense given Entrapta’s personality and interests. Or maybe the kingdom itself was the seed that planted itself in Entrapta. _Ugh, who cares?_

 

This was a planned stop before Bright Moon. They needed fuel and it was a good opportunity to put all of the tech princess’ gadgets and research somewhere safe. Bright Moon, after the failed assault against the runestone, seriously beefed up its security, and Entrapta was absolutely adamant of not risking all her precious work.

 

Catra agreed, something that might’ve been shocking to herself in the past, but not anymore. The girl’s mind really was brilliant and it had been incredibly helpful during their service in the Horde. She even had the foresight to wipe away her influence while she was downloading Horde secrets. Yeah, it was something that Catra had grown to appreciate, in the end.

 

When they docked within the walls, they found a small crowd waiting for them, weapons at the ready. They looked wary and cautious when the ship just… landed, without firing any weapons or anything. However, when the trio strolled out, they had looks of confusion and relief. Mostly because their princess was, first off, alive, and walking out towards them… with two clearly Horde companions.

 

“Princess Entrapta?” one of the servants questioned, speaking up. “You’re alive?!”

 

“Sure am! Don’t worry about these two, they’re defectors. Now where’s my robots?!” the princess replied, obviously having her priorities organized, and shoved her way through into the castle proper.

 

Which left Catra and Scorpia with the Dryl citizens. The two of them glanced at each other with a slightly uncomfortable and awkward look. Taking the initiative, Catra pointed inside the shuttle. “So, there’s a lot of stuff in there that Entrapta wants inside. Give us a hand?”

 

There was first a heavy silence, then the others started glancing to each other and muttering things. For a moment, Catra thought that they might attack the two of them. They wore untrusting looks but relaxed enough to start to disperse, some of them walking towards the shuttle to help them.

 

A real relief.

 

After everything was unloaded and Entrapta was satisfied with her level of re-acquaintance with her home and kingdom, the three of them decided it wouldn’t hurt to rest for a couple days and allow word to be sent ahead of them, so that they won’t be shot down on sight or something terrible like that.

 

Over the next couple of hours, all of the technology on the shuttle had been unloaded, and the shuttle itself refueled. Entrapta made a short public announcement explaining what’s going on, which appeased the citizenry. Just before dinner was finished and carried to the table for them, the trio took a moment to craft a message to be sent to Bright Moon.

 

Having finally seen the kind of food that Entrapta had eaten on the regular, it was easy to see why she held complaints about what the Horde served. It looked better than anything she’d ever seen before, save for maybe— _Nope. Not going there._ When Catra pulled herself out of her thoughts for the umpteenth time that day, Scorpia had already begun digging into it.

 

There was conversation buzzing throughout it, but Catra remained silent, simply enjoying the rejuvenating feeling of having something of real sustenance in her exhausted body. The weeks of inner turmoil left her in need of a good night’s sleep. She was the first to excuse herself and make her way somewhere comfortable.

 

Totally alone for the first and only time that day, Catra found some place to sleep that wasn’t completely covered in scrap metal and spare parts. It wasn’t any worse than the bunks she’s slept in her whole life in the Fright Zone, but…

 

A quiet sigh of disappointment slipped past her lips as she curled up in the warmest place in the room— which wasn’t much better than any other spot— and closed her eyes to sleep. It was a struggle. Even in her exhaustive state, her mind was still running through all possible timelines of the near future. If it wasn’t playing through what-if scenarios, it was about Adora.

 

 _I’m doing it, Adora,_ she thought to herself, _I’m defecting for you. Just like you wanted._ The hope that was born against all odds created an internal warmth that Catra was able to just enjoy and fall asleep to.

 

* * *

 

_Catra stood in the middle of the Whispering Woods, failing to notice the healthy attributes. Why was she here? What was she doing? Was she alone? Looking around, she couldn’t find anything she distinctly found identifiable. It was foreign and familiar at the same time. Hasn’t she been here often enough before to have some idea of where specifically she was?_

 

_Even though she was thinking as hard as she can, she couldn’t keep a thought for more than a few seconds. Everything faded and blurred before vanishing and she failed to notice herself wandering aimlessly._

 

_“Ugh!” she cried out in a groan, kicking a bush in frustration. “What am I doing here?!”_

 

_Just as she asked the question, she saw a light suddenly flash in the distance ahead of her. Seeing absolutely no reason why not, she took off in that direction. Anything was better than being lost in a stupid forest filled with bad memories._

 

_First it was just an abstract concept, but by bringing attention to it, she heard voices in her head as clear as when they were first spoken._

 

_It was her and Adora. The pleas, the begging, the tears and the apologies. Her own callous retorts and accusations, her heart bleeding into every word she spoke until she pulled a wall up between herself and Adora._

 

_Catra ran face first into something. Smacking it brought on unbelievable pain and she hit the ground after stumbling backwards. Hand over her nose, she looked up at the now blocked path._

 

_A wall. An earthen wall of stone, moss and vines adorning it. It stretched so far into the treeline. In a howl of frustration, she scrambled to her feet and started fruitlessly punching at it, as if it might eventually crumble and open her path again._

 

_Quickly realizing it was a waste of her time, Catra regained control of herself and started climbing. The vines looked sturdy enough, so she grabbed one and, feet to the cliff, started pulling herself up._

 

_And up. And up… And up… still going up._

 

 _She wasn’t getting anywhere, and looking back down, she knows for certain she had done way too much climbing to still be so close to the ground. Renewed frustration pushed her to keep climbing anyway, because there_ had _to be a top. She absolutely must get over this wall. She just had to keep pushing herself. Nothing was going to stand in her way, no matter what it was. Catra vowed to conquer everything in her path._

 

_Then the vine snapped. Dual colored eyes were lost in the black of fear as she realized she was now falling. Plummeting all the way back down, after all of her effort. Just before her back crashed against the ground, a single thought with her own voice was spoken in her head. “I was never going to get what I wanted, no matter how hard I tried. I was destined to be a failure.”_

 

_Everything went out of focus in an internal blinding white when she collided with the earth. So much pain— worse than anything she could ever remember going through. Is this what death feels like, when you die a failure?_

 

_“You were never a failure, Catra,” an intimately familiar voice said, whispered into her ears with such a gentle and compassionate tone._

 

_“Adora,” she croaked hoarsely, desperately. Only realizing her eyes were closed when they opened and she was in a new place. It was completely unfamiliar, and the details remained unclear at best in a vague series of purple colors. There was nothing she could connect with here. Logically, she knew that there should be… more, in this place. Looking down at herself, she was in full detail, so it wasn’t her eyes. So what—_

 

_“You were just looking in the wrong place. But you found it, didn’t you?”_

 

_Turning around, barely realizing she had also been on her feet, Catra saw her, and her heart cried out in her chest. “Adora?”_

 

 _Looking at her with such love and adoration in her eyes and a warm smile on her face was Adora._ Her _Adora. It was unnerving but oh so blissful to be looked at like that. Only Adora ever gave her that look. Nothing ever came close to it._

 

_Watching her hand raise to extend outwards to her, Catra was apprehensive. Glancing back and forth between the offered hand and the welcoming expression, she tentatively reached out and put her own hand on top. Instinctively, they both closed around each other. Adora was so soft._

 

_The joyous laugh that left her lips put such a strange and warm feeling inside of her. Heart racing, everything standing at attention and heating up, and her insides tingling— it was so overwhelming that she didn’t notice she had moved closer to Adora until her other hand was sitting atop her torso. Having to look up just a bit made everything going on all the more intense._

 

_“You’ve always been important. You’ve always mattered. But you had to figure it out on your own. You needed room to make choices and make mistakes. You needed the freedom to learn from those mistakes. You needed the opportunity to feel empowered by your victories,” Adora said, in such a soft and quiet voice. A caressing whisper. “I never doubted you, Catra. You’ve always been so strong, even when you were vulnerable.”_

 

_Adora’s other hand rose slowly as she spoke, slightly startling Catra when the palm pressed gently on her cheek, thumb running over skin slowly and sensually. Catra gulped, feeling the slightest bit of pressure tilting her head up just that little bit more. Adora was leaning in. Just before they touched, Catra’s eyes starting to flutter shut, she whispered. “Of course I forgive you.”_

 

* * *

 

It absolutely did not matter how long she was asleep for, it wasn’t even remotely long enough.

 

Catra continued to try to sleep through the distant rumbling, dream forgotten, and the clinking of robots back and forth past her general vicinity. Everything echoed and it was awful. After a long time trying, and failing, to return to her restful slumber, she gave up.

 

Rolling onto her stomach, she stretched everything with a lengthy groan of simultaneous frustration and relief. Feeling her bones pop and the slight euphoria from it eased her mood a little bit. After pushing herself to her feet, she made her way out of— What even was this room used for? Catra decided she didn’t care. She was in the hallways now.

 

There was a very faint trace scent of food in the air. Catching it made her acknowledge the present hunger. She followed it all the way to the kitchen, where leftovers sat. Literally not caring in the slightest, she casually made her way to them and just ate.

 

Nobody was around, so Catra got comfortable with the silence. It wasn’t as good as last night’s meal, but she attributed that to it being cold and not-as-fresh. Still better than whatever it was that the Horde served, so she didn’t fuss over it. It felt better to just eat in blissful peace, focusing on the tastes and textures instead of the noises of an obsessed inventor inventing things. The experience was actually pretty nice. There was never anything to take a moment and just appreciate in the—

 

“Catra!”

 

“GAH!” At the sudden call of her name, she spun around in fright and instinctively entered a battle stance, hair standing up and eyes blown wide. Having her bubble popped like that was a shock to the system. Upon seeing that it was Scorpia, currently making short work of the travel between where she was across the kitchen to Catra. “Fuck! What is it?”

 

The answer came after the tight hug. “I’ve been looking for you for the past hour! I’m so glad you didn’t get lost!” She looked so happy and relieved, it was hard to not feel that energy within herself. At first she fought the smile that threatened to emerge, but had a small epiphany. She wasn’t with the Horde anymore. What did she have to hide?

 

 _A lot,_ she answered for herself, but it was a superficial retort at best, and she chose let a small one get by, anyway. Scorpia definitely noticed and smiled even wider, if that were possible. “Entrapta has been working on upgrading the castle’s defenses with her new knowledge! That way, if the Horde comes, they won’t have an easy time. She said that when she’s done, she’ll be ready to go to Bright Moon with us!”

 

Smart plan. “Any idea when that will be, then?”

 

“Uuhhm… I think she said something like… another 6 hours?”

 

Catra blinked. A few times actually. “How long have I been asleep?”

 

Tapping one of her pincers against her chin, she made an exaggerated thoughtful face- though for her it wasn’t an exaggeration. “Well, uh, you were just eating lunch, which was a couple hours ago.”

 

And there it was. Catra pressed her palms together and took a breath. “Fantastic. Does she think flying to Bright Moon in the middle of the night is a good idea?”

 

“Oh! She said something about you probably saying something like that and told me what to say in response if you did!” Scorpia said, pretty proud of herself.

 

“Well?” Catra prompted.

 

“Entrapta said that we would arrive pretty early in the morning. And that if word got to them before then, they won’t raise alarms and stuff when we show up. That way, we don’t attract a lot of unnecessary attention!”

 

Catra’s expression changed immediately. She actually looked a bit embarrassed. “Well, I guess that is a good idea…” Shaking it off, she gave another retort. “But what does she expect me to do for the next 6 hours? I hope she isn’t planning on me dying of boredom.”

 

Immediately, Scorpia perked up. “ _We_ can do stuff! Entrapta also said that I probably shouldn’t let you brood anymore. Said to keep you out of your own head. Distract you from defecting, going to Bright Moon and reuniting with Adora.”

 

That embarrassment came back with a vengeance, face flushing as it scowled. “What?! Ugh! Where does she— whatever.” Catra scoffed and side-stepped her large companion to head out of the kitchen. “Not like I can be anywhere that doesn’t involve noise anyway.” Pausing at the door, she turned to look over her shoulder at Scorpia, to make sure she was following.

 

She was.

 

First they wandered around the castle for a while. Scorpia was ‘exploring’ and Catra was just looking for something interesting. The suggestion of ‘hide and seek’ received a very confused and questioning look, almost like it was a sudden foreign language. It was explained that it wouldn’t be fair, seeing as Catra would most certainly win every match, rather than crudely shooting it down. The effort to make that kinder change was noticed and appreciated.

 

Then they decided to mess with some of the wandering robots. Make them trip, run into each other, run into stuff lying around, and even riding on top of the bigger ones. Soon enough, that got boring on its own.

 

There wasn’t much time between that and dinner being made. It wasn’t a feast of sorts like the previous night. The two of them grabbed as much as they thought they could handle, plus a platter full for Entrapta, cause it wasn’t likely she was gonna leave her work spaces to come perform a necessary bodily function for survival.

 

When they showed up to the space she was currently occupying, rather than be greeted with annoyance for being disrupted, she actually looked at them with relief. Sitting together on the floor, they ate with comfortable small talk as Entrapta continued making her upgrades.

 

Passively, Catra wondered if this was what was waiting for her. The moment felt strange, foreign, even a little unsettling… but it felt nice, too. She felt a comfort she hasn’t felt since Adora left. The thought panged with hurt for a moment, until she realized that she might very well have that again.

 

Everything Adora did still hurts so deeply. It wouldn’t be immediate, the mending. But Catra was ready to try.

 

Soon enough, that small and intimate moment came to a close. Entrapta gave them an updated estimated finish time and the pair left the princess to her work.

 

Catra and Scorpia returned to wandering the halls until they had found themselves outside in the open space that the shuttle was sitting. Perking up at an idea, Catra made a quick dash inside. A few moments later, she walked out with a couple of weapons and tossed one to Scorpia.

 

Sparring was always an enjoyable pastime. Catra’s capabilities in combat was one of the things that never failed to make her feel like she had valuable qualities, even if it was something easily manipulable. She took what she could get.

 

Scorpia was a good fighter, too. It made the sparring all the more worthwhile. They were at it for hours, occasionally taking breaks to rest so they didn’t overwork themselves. During the final stretch of time, they dropped down to a more casual level of combat. Something less for the practical purposes and more for the enjoyment of it.

 

Before either one of them knew it, Entrapta emerged from her den of metal and data and was out with them.

 

It was time to go.

 

Finally boarding the Horde shuttle, Catra and Scorpia sat in the chairs and immediately relaxed into them after casually tossing their weapons aside. Entrapta approved, telling them that it would be wise to be rested by the time they arrive at Bright Moon.

 

Lifting up, the princess brought the shuttle far enough outside of Dryl to safely activate her brand new state-of-the-art Anti-Horde Defense System. It buzzed to life, turrets rising from previously hidden places and an energy field of some kind taking shape around the castle. There was undoubtedly more powering on, but that was all Catra had time to notice.

 

Pleased with the results, Entrapta took off towards Bright Moon.

 

Towards Adora.


	2. The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to meet Queen Angella, and hope for mercy.
> 
> Warnings: Darker scene, psychological.

****“Catra, wake up.”

 

A slight shaking stirred Catra from her dreamless light sleep, partially curled up against the arm rest. It was an undesired disturbance, so she groaned in displeasure, rubbing her eyes and slowly stretching herself awake. “Ughh… What is it?”

 

“We’re here,” Scorpia said, voice a little softer and even than usual.

 

Despite herself, Catra shot straight up and almost out of the chair entirely, suddenly incredibly awake and alert. Her heart started picking up in speed as the realization hit her. Looking forward over the console and through the window, she saw the sun just starting to peek out from behind the horizon line, sitting behind Bright Moon.

 

The only thing in her head for what felt like forever was the vision of Adora waiting for her. She swallowed a lump in her throat before composing herself. There was still quite a bit of hoop jumping to get through before all of that, so she shouldn’t start running too far ahead of herself.

 

As they came within range of the border, they found a battalion already there waiting. From their spot in the air, they were able to see tiny dots start scrambling around and defensive positions taken. Entrapta began lowering the altitude of the shuttle with a slow and steady decline.

 

Tension was thick among the three of them. As they hovered over a spot a respectable distance away in front of the Rebellion troops, the trio prepared themselves for anything they might have to deal with. Catra silenced the rampaging internal plan-making to speak softly to her friends. “Here goes nothing.”

 

Nodding, Entrapta opened the hatch and they rose from their seats at the console. Remaining completely unarmed, they descended down and into full view.

 

Catra kept her head high and looked far more confident than she felt. They walked as close as they dared, stopping the instant the soldiers raised their weapons a little higher. Raising her own hands up, she spoke loudly and clearly. “I am Catra, Force Captain of the Horde. I’m surrendering to the Rebellion with Princesses Scorpia and Entrapta. We’re unarmed.”

 

A woman in elegant armor, some unfamiliar no-name she didn’t care to learn anyway, and presumably the commander, walked through the parting soldiers until she was a few feet in front of the front line. It was easy to tell she thought highly of herself. “By the authority of her Majesty, Queen Angella of Bright Moon, I am ordered to bring you before her to be judged for crimes against Bright Moon, the Princess Alliance, and Etheria. I am also authorized to use any force I deem necessary if you decide to resist, so I advise against doing so.”

 

Catra couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “I just said we’re unarmed and surrendering.”

 

Ignored, the Commander made a gesture and several soldiers approached the trio and clamped wrist restraints behind their backs. Or, well, the only person that restraints would really work on was herself.

 

Trying to be helpful, Scorpia fitted her pincers together and smiled, thinking that it would just be accepted since it’s too much of a hassle to try and find something bigger, and fail.

 

Then Entrapta is just… immune to being chained up, honestly, but she played along anyway.

 

Another annoyed groan, Catra felt a soldier prod at her back and started walking forward. She gave the Commander a gnarly side-eye as they passed her. Just a small dispatch of soldiers— plus the Commander herself— ‘escorted’ them up to the castle. Catra figured the rest were staying just in case this was a ploy and another attack was about to be had.

 

 _Well, they can waste time doing nothing, fine by me,_ Catra said to herself, internally. The sun rose farther into the sky, bringing a new dawn, a new day.

 

A new life.

 

Catra didn’t really pay attention to any of her surroundings as she was brought to the castle. Partly because it was so saturated it kind of hurt, especially with the rising sun gleaming off of everything. How could Adora stand this place? The other part was simply because she didn’t care. She wasn’t here for the Rebellion or to sight-see.

 

Soon enough, the captive trio came upon a large chamber of incredibly intricate designing and beyond the doors was a tall, winged woman. The Queen Angella. She didn’t turn until the Commander had the three of them in the center. At first her face was hard, unreadable, but as soon as her eyes sat on Entrapta, she looked shocked.

 

“Entrapta! You really are alive! I was told you had perished at the Fright Zone,” she spoke, expression now one of joyous relief. Didn’t last all that long, for she composed herself a little more. “But, your message said that you have been working for the Horde. Why?”

 

“Well— ” the princess in question started, “I got captured by these two first and was their prisoner for a while. However, I saw so much strange technology that I simply couldn’t help myself to explore deeper! She,” she nodded her head at Catra, “then told me that all of you abandoned me and stuff like that so I decided to stay and help them.” Catra gave her an incredulous and annoyed look, mouthing ‘what the fuck?’ at her. “They gave me tech, so I was happy. Until I wasn’t. Have you ever been to the Fright Zone? Not much to look at and even less to spark inspiration. They were also, let us just say, pretty demanding and unappreciative of my contributions, in the end.”

 

Before she could continue rambling on, the Queen raised a hand to stop her. “So you mean to say that you were manipulated into helping the Horde and have been actively working against us? Did you know that we thought you had died?”

 

“Not at first, no,” Entrapta confessed. “When I did, though, things were already… different. By that time, I had already made so much more progress with my research and development than I had ever imagine, so… I prioritized. Sorry. But I did delete pretty much every upgrade I made— I never create something I don’t have a backdoor into— and have brought as much Horde intelligence that I could swipe as a gift of reparation and a sign of good will!”

 

Queen Angella made a few faces as she processed the information, and was silent while she did so. Nobody else spoke until she did first. “I accept your gifts, Princess Entrapta. However, you will have to make additional amendments to the others who have suffered because of your contributions. It is up to them to forgive you or not, but I officially welcome you back into the fold.”

 

With a bow, Entrapta smiled and thanked her. “I’ve learned so much, so I can start with all that by providing my genius and skills to the other kingdoms!”

 

Nodding at the Commander, the Queen gave permission to remove the restraints from the princess, though she stayed where she was. When her gaze moved back to Catra and Scorpia, that venom from earlier returned.

 

“As for you two, I am far less inclined to grant a pardon, for you both have done a great deal of harm and brought vast amounts of destruction to the homes of the Alliance.” Her voice was as sharp as any blade and her eyes were cold and unsympathetic. “I accept your surrender, and only through Entrapta’s vouching do I have some belief this is not some ploy to weaken us.”

 

Feeling her face contort into a scowl, Catra spoke up. “What about Adora? Where is she? It was by _her_ invitation that I could come here as a defector and be safe. Do you realize how far I’ve put my neck out to come here with _two_ princesses? I— ”

 

A furious look captured the Queen as she snapped back. “Silence! Adora will be informed when the time is right. I am the only authority you need concern yourself with, and testing my patience is _not_ an advisable course of action if you hope to keep your life.”

 

That threat made Catra’s blood run cold, and her expression and demeanor reflected that. Adora didn’t know she was here. Adora didn’t know a damn thing. All the Queen sees is a war criminal. Fear shook her to her core and she shivered with the chill.

 

“Take the Captain away to someplace secure. Post no less than 4 guards outside of her cell, and under no means are you to allow Adora to become aware of this meeting. I shall deal with her later,” Angella commanded with a passive gesture.

 

Grabbing Catra’s arms and wrist restraints from behind her, the Commander nodded to the Queen. “With pleasure.” She whipped her head to look over her shoulder at the abrasive woman, then back to the Queen with shock, anger, and dread. She was so close to freaking out and shouting, but defeat knocked her to her knees before she could even inhale the air needed for her first string of curses.

 

Thrown back towards the open doors, Catra turned as far around as she could to watch her friends look at her with fear and concern. Eye contact broke when they looked away, presumably in response to the Queen’s call for attention. The doors closed as she was hauled away to who knows where.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Waking with a groggy yawn and stretching her arms out past the surplus of elegant purple pillows, Adora took her sweet time getting up. Glancing out of the window, she figured that she slept in a little bit more than usual. Rolling towards the side of the bed, she only managed to sit up when she got to the edge.

 

With another long stretch as she rose, she looked around the mildly personalized room at nothing in particular. Running her hands through her loose hair several times, she casually made her way to the bathing room to go about her morning routine. When she stepped out again, it was just in a towel with her hair dry and up. Fresh body, fresh clothes.

 

It wasn’t long since waking that she was stepping out of her room, ready for the day, and making her way to the kitchens. Along the way, peering from one of the walkway windows, she saw a large gathering of soldiers coming back from near the border. That was immediately suspect, her brain going to work to figuring out the quickest way to Bow and Glimmer to find out what’s up, seeing as a whole battalion wasn’t standard protocol.

 

Adora stood at the window and watched, though. If they were coming back to the castle with no signs of fighting beyond the border, then maybe everything was actually fine, and she’s just jumpy and paranoid? _...Nah, that’s weird,_ she thought and changed her course from the kitchens to her friends.

 

Moving at a pace that was slightly faster than a regular walk, she didn’t pay much attention to anything outside of her current single-minded objective. Except when a pair of guards stopped talking and stood at attention the very second they saw her approaching.

 

 _Okay, double weird,_ Adora thought, side-eyeing them and their nervous looks as she passed. Continuing down the hall, she almost ran smack into Bow, who was running down an adjacent hall.

 

“Damn! Bow?!” Adora said, grabbing her friend before he fell over and pulling him back upright. “Where are you running off to in such a hurry?”

 

“I don’t really know! Glimmer went to get some snacks and when she came back— without the snacks might I add— she was losing her mind! Didn’t tell me anything, just said that we had to find you!” Bow said, panting after he got all of that out. He looked particularly exhausted and seemed to have trouble catching his breath, sitting on the floor with a hand on his chest.

 

Getting the feeling that this was pretty important, Adora nodded and said, “Okay! I’ll go find her, okay? You catch up when you can,” before running down the way Bow had come. Silently she wondered if this would have anything to do with that battalion she saw outside.

 

Turning the final corner, she saw Glimmer’s room, the door partially open. Slowing down to catch her own breath and not have to gasp everything out, Adora walked up to the room and peeked inside. Nobody.

 

Opening the door father and stepping inside, Adora called out for her friend, “Glimmer?” Walking into the room proper and looking around the entirety of it for a short silent moment, the sound of teleportation came from behind her and she whipped around to find herself with her hands clutched in Glimmer’s. She looked giddy and overly excited— it was written all over the princess’ face.

 

“I’ve been looking for you! I just overheard some guards talk about how they _saw_ Entrapta! Here in Bright Moon! Alive!!” Glimmer said, bouncing in place in both excitement and anxiety. “I dunno if they were being stupid or if they _thought_ they saw her or something, but—” However, she stopped and looked up at her in confusion. Adora’s face had twisted into shock and as things clicked, it became horror, then pure anger. “Adora?”

 

Without a word, she stepped around her friend and entered a dead sprint in the way she had came. “Adora?!” Glimmer’s cries were ignored entirely. If she went somewhere or began following her, Adora didn’t notice.

 

Each step she took to the throne room made her angrier and more scared. She was the only one to know Entrapta was really alive, and allied with Catra. Specifically Catra. There would be only _one_ reason she’d be spotted in Bright Moon. It was hard to feel the absolute ecstasy coursing through her that her best friend had actually _left the Horde_ beyond her rage.

 

Why the fuck did the Queen not tell her when Catra got here?

 

On the way to the throne room, she passed by Bow, who was presumably running back to Glimmer’s room to catch up. However, as soon as he saw the murder face she was wearing he nope’d his back right against the wall to avoid getting ran over by Adora. She didn’t hear Bow’s footsteps back towards their abandoned princess friend over her own.

 

When she got to the closed doors, she used all of her running momentum to shove them open, earning the shock of Queen Angella at the sudden intrusion. Adora didn’t give her any time to sputter some kind of response to her. With a voice completely reflective of how she felt in that moment, she demanded, “Where is she? Where is Catra?"

 

* * *

 

Not being able to move was unbelievably uncomfortable. No matter how she twisted her wrists or shifted her position against the wall, there was just no winning. Combined with the dreary color and suffocating small space of her cell, devoid of light and silent as the grave, she didn’t want to fight anymore. After everything, she was just too fucking tired. Quietly she wondered if she would die before Adora knew she was here, if she was ever told.

 

“Maybe it’s for the best…” she muttered softly. Her eyes were all out of tears and stung with dryness. A throbbing headache and an increasing sensation of heartbreak kept her from seeing any upsides to the situation. It didn’t matter in the end how much she worked to heal herself from a lifetime of abuse.

 

She was destined for failure.

 

A heavy, soulless sigh escaped her with the beginning of her mental resignation from life. There wasn’t any energy to think all the other things she’s always told herself in the lonely silence she knows far too well. The only image she has is the word ‘failure.’

 

If time even mattered, she would’ve wondered just how long she’s been here. It feels like such a long time. An absolute eternity of free-falling down into the rabbit-hole.

 

Catra wished that she was capable of replaying the _good_ things that’s happened in her life, no matter how few they were in all. Just something to give her some peace when she faces her end. Did she deserve peace, though? The decision to defect didn’t come lightly, but…

 

Adora was supposed to protect her. As long as they had each other, nothing bad could ever really happen to them. Catra had put all of her faith into that when she chose to leave the Horde. An all or nothing gamble. Maybe she should’ve known not to play with rigged dice.

 

It was her own fault, anyway. What else did she expect? Did she really believe that she would be able to just… have her perfect ending with Adora? The dry sob from the weak train of thought hurt so much, she forgot what she was thinking to begin with. Her lungs and chest hurt so much from her earlier, fruitless fits.

 

Actually, everything hurt. Who knew just what kind of toll psychological degradation could take?

 

Maybe, if she could just… close her eyes for a second, she’d offer herself some relief. As soon as Catra closed them, exhaustion took her, finally.

 

Things didn’t hurt so much anymore.

 

The sudden sound of something heavy crashing against an even heavier object reverberated in her ears, jolting her awake only seconds later and incidentally pulling her against her restraints, which got a weak and strangled groan. Catra wanted to look up, see what was happening, but it hurt to raise her head. If she had, she would have noticed the 6 or so guards jump from where they sat in a circle gambling with cards and extra rations.

 

The heavier object, which sounded like a door, gave way and just beyond the thicker metal door that separated her section of the prison— she figured out early on that this was a solitary confinement space— from the rest, she heard… No way.

 

“I SAID, _MOVE,”_ came the one voice she had longed to hear. The sudden spark of life in her heart was enough to give her the strength to raise her head. There was the distinct sound of somebody’s fist connecting with a stupider somebody’s jaw and the door opened.

 

She still couldn’t see, but she knew. “Unless you want your ass kicked, _get the hell out._ ” That voice sent a shiver of fear even down her own spine. Catra wasn’t sure if she remembers such anger from her before. It didn’t take long for the guards to decide to scramble out of her way, probably seeing the other unfortunate souls left in her wake of rage.

 

There wasn’t even a hint of hesitation. The second those guards hauled ass, Adora was right there, on the other side of the barrier. Their eyes connected and then there wasn’t anything between them anymore. The instant that Adora had access to the interior of the cell, the metal restraints holding her arms above her head released.

 

They ached something terrible, but in the onslaught of euphoria and adrenaline pumping in her system, Catra was able to push all of her pain down and struggled to her feet. She didn’t even get enough time to do that, she found herself in the suffocating tight embrace of her hope. Of Adora.

 

Catra was lifted off of her feet, which instinctively wrapped around Adora’s waist and locked together. Never had she ever held onto somebody like her life depended on it. Arms securing around Adora, when she buried her face into her neck, Catra’s body managed to find a whole new source of water to supply her sobbing.

 

If life were like it was before, there was no way she would have been caught dead and 6 feet under crying so fucking much. If she cared anymore, she would’ve called herself pathetic. But with Adora clinging to her as much as she was to Adora, nothing else mattered. She was safe. She was free.

 

“I won’t leave you,” Adora whispered hoarsely. “Never again.”

 

* * *

 

 

The pair took quite a while before being able to physically extract themselves from one another, laughing awkwardly at what their unbridled fear had encouraged them to do. By the time Adora had lead Catra out of that forsaken place by the hand, more guards had shown up. They got a particularly nasty look from Adora.

 

Despite the newfound fear they all had, one guard spoke up with a slight stutter, “T-the Queen—”

 

There was no mercy and no patience, Adora shoved the guard aside, prompting the rest to move out of the way too, and muttered angrily. “Yeah, yeah. We’re going.” If anything, the hand that was holding Catra’s got a little bit tighter, as if she were afraid that she’d be ripped away from her.

 

Fortunately, none of them were stupid enough to even think of attempting such a thing. Each step gave Catra more confidence in her survival, even though she was still reeling from the fact that Adora had literally clocked who knows how many guards to get to her, despite everything she had put her through. She counted at least 5 still unconscious on the way out.

 

Too many horrible things were on the table. Things she’s said, things she’s done, to more than just Adora, too. This was a huge gamble. No other possible known gamble had more risk to it than the one Catra was currently playing out. Even though she knew that they would have to hash it out in _many_ gut-spilling conversations, just… everything about Adora’s behavior gave her hope.

 

They might really be okay, in the end.

 

When Catra woke from her thoughts, they were in the final hallway leading up to the Queen’s throne room. While the pair had slowed down some, Catra kept herself a little bit closer to Adora than she had been on the way there. Stepping inside, both of them acknowledged the thinly veiled nasty look Queen Angella shot the ex-Horde soldier. It prompted a look from Adora herself, which made the Queen noticeably uncomfortable.

 

“You have her. I suppose we can decide her fate now, if you’re so inclined to press the issue. Know that I am _not_ happy with the assault on loyal, innocent Bright Moon soldiers,” she said in an icy tone, composing herself in a neutral and indifferent manner.

 

“I don’t care. You knew about what I had said to Catra. You told me that if she came in peace, you would give her a chance to make things right. Instead, you went behind my back,” Adora spat.

 

“ _You_ are only barely beyond childhood. You were part of the evil that had taken so much from us. But you had also been new to the front lines. I would not condemn an innocent for her background.” Raising a hand, she pointed straight past Adora to the woman at her side. “She, on the other hand, had actively made every effort to destroy us and everything we hold dear. And for what? A personal vendetta? Really, Adora… You cannot expect me to simply pardon her for all her crimes and transgressions because she said she’s sorry.”

 

The fingers wrapped around Catra’s hand flexed, squeezing a couple of times but loosening up before it could hurt. “Not everyone rolls out of Hell with a clear-cut picture of right and wrong, _your Majesty._ I promise you, nobody was more hurt by the things Catra has done than me. Everyone she hurt, I hurt for them too. How could I not? I did everything to continue to push the Horde back. We’ve been turning the tide of this war. _I’ve_ been turning the tide of this war.” Angella narrowed her eyes.

 

Hearing Adora say that, confessing to how deeply pained she’s been because of _her,_ made Catra start thinking this might be a mistake. It hurt so much. How could she possibly be forgiven? Just as she thought that, after breaking eye contact and lowering her head a bit in guilt, she felt her hand receive a comforting squeeze. She really didn’t have anything left in the tank to keep fucking crying, so she forced it all down. For now.

 

“I’m not saying that Catra get away with everything with no more than a slap on the wrist. I’m not saying anybody has to forgive her right away. I know that saying she was lost, miserable and confused doesn’t make anything she did suddenly okay. There’s _nobody_ I’ve ever trusted more than her. She came back on her own, she kept Entrapta safe. She—”

 

Angella’s eyes widened immediately upon the mention. “You _knew_ that Princess Entrapta was still alive?!” she asked, flabbergasted. “And you _let_ her stay and serve the Horde?!”

 

“It was a gamble that paid off!" she bit back. "Catra was able to figure out what she really wanted and what really mattered, and came back _with_ a perfectly intact Entrapta. And everything she learned while with the Horde. Now, Hordak has lost two critical pieces in this war— two pieces that are now _with us._ Your response to that is to pardon the _princess_ and throw the scapegoat into a hole to rot?” Adora was barely containing her absolutely furious trembling. Catra could feel the twitching and strain.

 

“Adora…” she started to whisper, wanting to try and calm her down. This boiling anger was kind of scaring her, but Adora was having none of it.

 

“No, Catra— I promised you that things would be different.” Turning back to the Queen, she did attempt to calm herself down at least a little bit, closing her eyes and taking a breath. “Not only is this defection an incredibly valuable resource in the war, but by allowing Catra to make amends for what she’s done, you keep your most valuable weapon against the Horde. Me.”

 

Both Angella and Catra gawked at her with a stunned look that bordered on terrified. Stepping in front of her, Catra was the one to squeeze her hand this time. “Adora, no. If you were willing to ditch me for the Rebellion—” she shook her head, “No, to do what’s right— How do you expect me to accept you throwing it away now, after coming so far? Are you fucking joking? Listen, I know that I’ve made a real fucking mess of myself. I know that even if I get the chance you’re fighting for, that it may not even pay off in the end. You already…” She swallowed hard. “Everything I’ve gone through would mean nothing to me if you pick me and let the world—”

 

With no hint or warning, Adora pulled her into another embrace. With a low voice, so no one else heard, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” Here Catra was expecting some kind of comforting sappy shit, and blinked in confusion of the boast of confidence she got instead.

 

Rolling her eyes, Catra couldn’t help but smirk and whisper back, “Fine, show-off.” This time after parting, when their hands found each other again, their fingers intertwined.

 

However, before Adora could continue her vocal rampage, Queen Angella took a step forward, hand raised. “Enough theatrics, you can stop. You know how to make a compelling, if manipulative, argument. I have never known you to give false threats. While I am beyond disapproving, and continue to harbor reservations and suspicion, you speak true about the strategic value Catra and her princess companions offer. I’ve already spoken to Princesses Entrapta and Scorpia about what is expected of them and their limitations. But know that the noose is tighter around _her_ neck than the others.”

 

Not missing the venomous emphasis, Catra gulped involuntarily at the obvious threat.

 

“So, this is my official decree: Until I have been given enough reason to believe that Catra’s defection and loyalty is sincere, she is to remain in the company of you, myself, or any commanding officer within the Alliance with appropriate authorization. Additionally, until such a time, Catra is forbidden from participation in high-stakes missions in any capacity. She is also to not be left alone with either Princess Entrapta or Princess Scorpia. She will be expected to remain honest and forthcoming with any and all information we may ask of her. With this… probation… I will allow her to make efforts to repair the damage she has done and to make amends with the people she’s hurt.” With a heavy sigh, the Queen closed her eyes momentarily. “Does that sound reasonable, Adora?”

 

Grinning with absolute joy and excitement, Adora tossed aside formality and nodded profusely. “Yes! It is! Thank you so much!” She turned so fast, Catra was caught completely off-guard with the sudden embrace. Just as quickly though, it was over.

 

“Do _not_ make me regret this, or you will face dire consequences yourself,” the Queen warned, but Adora was too excited to give it much acknowledgement. As soon as she gave the dismissal, Catra was dragged far far away.

 

Catra had absolutely no idea how she managed to survive as far as she has.

 

* * *

 

 

Halfway there, Adora had finally slowed down at the behest of an exhausted Catra struggling to keep up. She was absolutely beaming. Had there ever been a time before she ever looked so damn happy? And it was all for her…

 

A soft sigh of relief escaped as she began to really process the day’s events. At the end of her train of thought, she muttered softly, but aloud, “I’d kill for some food… and 3 days of undisturbed sleep.”

 

Looking back, Adora ran her eyes up and down Catra’s rugged and dirty body, letting herself examine her sluggish friend properly. Damn, she did honestly looked like she just rolled out of a dumpster. Her face shifted slightly into one of concern and guilt, but she wiped it away quickly and sped back up.

 

They were making progress down a particularly lengthy hallway when Adora suddenly turned and casually entered some random room. Inside were a couple of kitchen staff who looked startled. Adora paid them no mind and brought Catra into the kitchen proper.

 

With no vocal instructions, their still intertwined hands slipped apart and Catra was left standing awkwardly, feeling the eyes of the staff on her as Adora ran around grabbing all kinds of weird looking ingredients. Crossing her arms, the feline woman tried to ignore just how foreign everything really was. Her eyes ran across everything around her at least 5 times, squinting painfully at the color schemes. How could Adora stand to be in a place like this? So bright and visually irritating.

 

As she watched Adora begin prepping the ingredients for some kind of meal, Catra took a seat on the floor, legs crossed. She got a weird look for it, but it was just as quickly accepted. Sitting there and watching her work helped distract her from how tense and uncomfortable she still was. When the cooking started picking up, the scents were getting stronger, and it smelled… pretty good, actually. Really good. It was starting to smell better than most food has ever dreamed of tasting.

 

It made her mouth start to water, and her stomach rumble. Hearing Adora trying to muffle a chuckle snapped her out of her stupor and she gave her a weird, accusatory look. With a restrained grin, she gestured up to her own eyes. The fu… As soon as it clicked, Catra brought a hand up to cover her eyes and the growing flush. With that, Adora felt free to laugh adorably before resuming the cooking.

 

Even as she tried to look mad about it, it was increasingly more difficult to act all cool, disinterested and aloof. Things have just… been too rough lately to keep it up. Hard to remember why she even wanted to. Eventually a small smile of her own spread across her face, but she looked anywhere  _besides_ Adora so she wouldn’t have to deal with making eye contact while it was present.

 

Not long after that, Adora sat down right in front of her on the floor and offered a silver plate with a couple different kinds of meat and some kind of starch. There was a disproportionate ratio of meat to starch between the two plates— Adora had one too. Catra glanced between them and Adora herself before picking up the utensils and taking a cautious bite.

 

The second it touched her tongue, Catra’s eyes blew up in amazement, wider than a few minutes ago. Now with a complete disregard for any semblance of table manners— Catra? Manners? —she tossed aside the silverware and pretty much shoveled handfuls into her mouth as soon as there was space available.

 

“Holy shit,” she said during a pause between her barbaric indulgence. “Adora— when did you become such a good fucking cook?”

 

What she got was a surprised laugh that made her feel funny enough to nearly swallow her next mouthful the wrong way. Thankfully, she avoided an embarrassing display of coughing up the beautifully prepared food. Not to mention she’d feel pretty bad. “I’ve been here a while, you know? I was taught how. I’m really glad you like it.”

 

Swallowing again, Catra paused eating again to awkwardly dodge her gaze a few moments, before lifting it back up to meet Adora’s again. There really was a lot to process, and it was catching up with her. A look of concern started to form, so she prompted herself to speak up first, “I, uh… I know that I… really hurt you. Just because I was hurt, too, doesn’t make it okay… I’m… I’m sorry, Adora. I’m so fucking sorry.” Her hands balled into fists, nails digging into her palms to keep her from losing her cool.

 

However, Adora was having none of that, and put her hands on top of Catra’s, peeling her fingers open. “I know. I’m sorry too. We’ll work through this, okay? We don’t have to rush anything. There’s nobody watching us from the shadows. Nobody to judge us. Nobody to make us feel worthless. We won’t fix this in a day, but I can’t stand another one without knowing you’re okay.”

 

Catra’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly, unsure of what to say. Instead of speaking, she just nodded. Vulnerability is so _difficult,_ but her emotions were running pretty high lately. They continued to eat in peaceful silence for a few more minutes.

 

Then beyond the wall she heard something, ears twitching and perking up to look directly at the door. “Catra?” Adora asked, leaning a little forward to look at the same direction she was. “What’s wrong?”

 

She was silent for another few seconds, before she frantically shoved what little remained of her food onto Adora’s plate and ducked behind the island counter. Adora gave her a very confused look. “It’s your annoying friends looking for you. I dunno ‘bout you, but I don’t have anything left in me after the crazy day I’ve had to spare to deal with the short one probably going berserk on my ass on sight,” Catra muttered, before crawling further along the floor and looking through the cabinets for one that might be big enough for her to fit inside and hide.

 

Adora began sputtering something that was supposed to be a response to get Catra to chill out, but the door opened and she shot straight to her feet and gave a very fake innocent look at Bow, now peeking inside.

 

“Adora!” he shouted, pushing himself through the doorway just in time for Glimmer to shove past with a very worried look on her face.

 

“Adora! Where have you been? Where did you go? Are you okay? You looked SO mad earlier!” she immediately said, going off. It took a second of hushing down the relentless questions she had before Adora could even begin answering the first one.

 

“Jeeze Glimmer! I’m fine, I promise! Please calm down!” Hands on her shoulders from across the island counter— which was, in fact, uncomfortable by the way— Adora was mostly successful in getting her to regain her patience. “So, listen. I’ve got a couple things I need to confess to you guys, and everything will make sense when I do, but I, uh…” She glanced downward at Catra, who was unable to find someplace to crawl inside and was instead flat against the counters and looking up at her with a super mixed expression between anxiety and silent threats.

 

 _Classic Catra,_ Adora thought to herself, glancing back to them as if she wasn’t hiding anything. They both gave her weird looks. “Uhm… Can I take a personal day today?”

 

Now they gave _each other_ weird looks. Bow spoke up first, “Uh… I mean, sure? Are you really okay?”

 

However, Glimmer squinted suspiciously. Adora hoped that she wasn’t visibly sweating. Then she looked to the side, at the plates of food on the floor. She pointed and asked, “Why is there half-eaten food on the floor?”

 

Catra, from her hiding place, turned her head to look past Adora’s legs at the forgotten plates. It took everything in her being to not claw her own eyes out or to let Adora know just what level of done she is with her.

 

“Oh! That! I—” Now her grin looked _super_ forced. “So, I got into a huge fight with your mom today and I’m just in a mood.” Catra put her hands in her face. These kids have to be idiots to believe that load of bull—

 

Glimmer and Bow both had a look of confused concern. “My mom? You got into a fight with my mom?? About WHAT?” she asked.

 

“Like I said! I’ll tell you guys about it when I’m feeling better. So can you leave me to eat my food on the floor in peace? Pretty please?” Adora was pulling absolutely everything she has out of her ass for this lie.

 

Another shared look. Glimmer seemed like she was thinking about pushing a little harder, but Bow thankfully intervened. “Sure thing, Adora. Whatever helps, you know? Uh… feel better soon?”

 

She nodded. “Yep! Thanks! Have fun without me!”

 

Bow then lead their still suspicious friend out of the kitchens. Neither of the young adults moved until several moments later. With an over exaggerated gasp of relief, Adora put her head in her arms, on the counter. “I can’t believe that worked…”

 

Rising to her feet, Catra casually patted her on the back. “Me neither, dude. I thought for sure we were busted, cause you did not get any better at lying. Looks like your friends are just idiots.”

 

Adora lifted her head, arms still on the counter, and gave her an unimpressed look. “I really hope you’re gonna try to make an effort to be nice to them, Catra.”

 

She didn’t spare her another glance, instead walking over and picking the plates up. “I am, but I nearly died from mad second-hand embarrassment, so I get a freebie,” she said, before popping another piece of meat into her mouth.

 

After receiving another look, one of resignation this time, Catra offered the fuller plate back to her as a peace offering. One Adora accepted with a small smile, going with the same barbary Catra had only minutes ago showed and used her hands to shovel food into her mouth. It got the biggest smile of the day from Catra, and for the first time in a long time… she had tangible hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I said updates were Sundays, and they are... but I really really wanted to post again. Just too damn excited. The feedback from chapter 1 was super encouraging and since I had this ready, I thought "why not?" (Especially because this chapter has a few highlights that I've definitely patted myself on the back for.)
> 
> Thanks for the support and hope you enjoyed!!


	3. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra has successfully surrendered to the Rebellion without losing her life and has achieved conditional defection. Bow and Glimmer accepted Adora's "personal day" request and now she sits on a temporary lie. There's still a long way still to go down the road of redemption and recovery, but immediate hurdles are quickly approaching.
> 
> Heads-up/warning: Casual undressing. Chapter's pretty tame.

****Ever since the duo managed to escape from the kitchens and sneak all the way back to Adora’s room without being caught by her jumpy friends, the two picked seats a respectable distance from one another. Adora on her surprisingly normal-looking bed and Catra on another piece of furniture she pushed to be directly across from the bed. Specifically, a chair.

 

And Catra slept the rest of the day away. To Adora, there was no way that sleeping at such angles was remotely comfortable. She gets that Catra is… but it was still just so hard to imagine herself doing the same thing and being anywhere close to okay.

 

Beyond that, though, Adora was happy enough doing… other stuff while she slept. Mostly read, since punching and kicking stuff might be a little loud. It was fine, though, for the most part. She really did just want to help Catra get settled in, and she was pretty content with the occasional peek over her book to watch her sleeping friend for a few moments. It was difficult to really believe that she was here, finally, and when she glances over, it’s mostly to make sure that she’s still actually there and wasn’t some cruel figment of her imagination.

 

The sun eventually began to set, and she knew the summons to supper would be fairly soon. Going without eating for the night didn’t sound that great, so Adora began to consider her options.

 

She could sneak out and back to the kitchens to snag some stuff for the both of them… but if she gets caught, or if somebody comes in to check on her, then lots of bad things are gonna happen.

 

Waking Catra and bringing her to dinner summons would be a mess on its own, though safer overall than the previous option. Even then, she might not agree to do so, and Adora wasn’t really keen on depriving her of some obviously much needed rest.

 

So, the last option is to go hungry for Catra’s sake. It’s only one meal, so what’s the harm? She can just pig out in the morning, bring Catra before Glimmer wakes. _But that option SUCKS!_ she groaned. Looking over her book again to watch Catra sleep so soundly, she couldn’t imagine herself being able to disturb her. There was also just inherently way too much risk in literally breaking Catra’s probation _for_ her. Not to mention how pissed she’d be when she found out.

 

Yeah… Pulling her book back up and continuing to read, Adora decided to just take one for the team.

 

Suddenly, a realization hit her. “AH S—” She quickly slapped a hand over her mouth, having been louder than she intended and her eyes shot over at Catra, who thankfully only shifted a little. Sighing in relief, she dragged her hand down her face. She and Catra might not be in attendance for dinner, but Glimmer and her mom will be. And she told Glimmer that she had a fight with her mom. Considering how suspicious she was in the kitchens, there’s almost no doubt in her mind that Glimmer is gonna ask and she’s not entirely certain that the Queen will keep her in the dark.

 

Setting her book down, Adora leaned forward and pressed her mouth into her intertwined fingers in thought. The most clean this situation is gonna go is if Glimmer doesn’t ask any questions or if her mom simply doesn’t talk about it. However, that wasn’t a certainty. There was honestly no definite way to tell if Glimmer is gonna poof into her room and yell at her, or attack Catra, or both.

 

“This sucks so much,” Adora muttered, to herself.

 

“It’d suck less if—” a sleeping Catra suddenly spoke up, which caused Adora to jump in surprise with a yelp. Which, _in turn,_ prompted Catra herself to shoot up and look over out of reflex. When she realized that she had only startled the girl, she huffed and turned over again. “—if you stopped overthinking everything, idiot. What are you even worrying about?” she grumbled.

 

“Glimmer and her mom. At dinner.”

 

Catra was silent, expecting more.

 

“I had told her earlier that I ‘had a fight’ with her mom?”

 

“So?”

 

“If Glimmer finds out you’re here, right now, with me, before anything gets explained to her— Let’s just say it’ll be bad for everyone involved.”

 

There was a slight pause, Catra taking a second to start. “...You act like I’m incapable of taking care of myself, Adora.”

 

“No, Catra. I don’t doubt that you can defend yourself against Glimmer,” Adora puffed a short sigh. “But getting into a fight on your first day really isn’t what I think her mom had in mind when she let you go.”

 

Turning back over to look at her with squinted, tired eyes, Catra gave a half-hearted low growl. “Well, it won’t be _my_ fault if _her daughter_ came in here, fists flying. I don’t get why _I_ have to compromise when I didn’t do anything wrong! I’ve already been handed my punishment. I don’t need extra shit from anyone else.”

 

Adora took a sharp breath in. “It’s not something that’ll last forever, I promise. But I really really don’t want you to get thrown back into the dungeons just because you had to be spiteful.”

 

“Still don’t see how this is _my_ problem!” Catra said with exasperation.

 

To which prompted Adora to sigh in resignation. “Fine, you win. But if she teleports in here, duck for cover?”

 

First, there was an extensive silence that went on long enough that Adora started to think her friend fell asleep again, so she reached out for her previously forgotten book. She had sat there patiently waiting for a considerate amount of time. Then, with a loud, frustrated groan, Catra rolled off the chair she was in. Giving Adora a pointed look, she ran her fingers through her wild mane of hair. “Fine, whatever. If your house of crazies are gonna be so damn annoying, let’s just get it over with.”

 

Disinterested in the whole affair, Catra began walking to the door. Adora jumped to her feet with a sharp “Wait!” Turning her head, the groggy woman raised an eyebrow. Looking her up and down, Adora sucked on her tongue, having a strong feeling of where this was about to go. “Uh… Do you… want to wear something else?”

 

Looking down at herself and taking in the red attire, Catra leveled a questioning look at her. “I like what I’m wearing.”

 

“Trust me, you do _not_ want to run around this place in a Horde uniform. I’m gonna get something.” Adora was fishing inside an obscenely large dresser before a single protest could be voiced.

 

Groaning again, Catra gave up. “Fuck— If it’ll make you happy.” Walking over to the dresser next to Adora, she watched her sort through all kinds of weird looking clothes.

 

“It will,” was her response.

 

However, every time Adora reached for something to hold out and show, it was shot down with some kind of negative retort. It didn’t even matter what she grabbed, cause Catra said no. In many different varieties. Some even involved insults, either of the clothing, of her, or both.

 

It got very old very quickly. After _several_ infinite minutes of this, Adora groaned in frustration over the single noise that Catra made for her next nasty quip. “Catra! Jeeze, you’re _impossible_ after you wake up. If you hate everything so much, just wear a blanket or something!”

 

Stepping a foot deeper in the dresser, Adora received a very unamused look that had a pinch of annoyance sprinkled in. She then looked into the dresser and within 5 seconds just yanked something out. A sleeveless vest not too dissimilar to Sea Hawk’s in style, but longer, going down to her hips. In a single effortless motion, Catra slipped it on and shook her hair out.

 

It was a hideous combination of color and style. “Catra, please. You’re not wearing that to dinner.”

 

“What’s the problem, Adora?!” she bit back.

 

“The problem—” Adora made a wild gesture with her arms. “The problem is you’re _still_ wearing the stupid uniform! I thought you were taking this defection seriously!”

 

Catra gave her a look of deep disbelief. “You’re joking right? You know that if I get captured, they won’t even take me prisoner. They’ll,” punctuating the word with a harsh “kkshh” sound and a thumb across her throat, “me immediately.”

 

With an exasperated sigh, Adora put both hands on the difficult feline’s shoulders. “Oh, you’re so right. Let’s just go to the Queen’s dinner table, with the Queen’s glass-cannon daughter, dressed as Horde soldiers, where everyone will immediately distrust you even more than they already do. Duh, Adora!”

 

Pushing her off a little harshly, Catra turned and tore through the dresser, flipping through every article of clothing at ridiculous speeds and yanked a couple more things out— seemingly at random. Neither of them looked pleased. Adora was even so irritated she felt her eye twitch. Once. “You’re more annoying than I remember, Adora. I think your friends are rubbing off too much on you,” she said as she threw the vest off and began to strip.

 

Completely unphased by the casual undressing, Adora kept on topic. “You know, I’m starting to get kind of upset with you constantly insulting my friends. How would you feel if I started insulting Entrapta and Scorpia, huh?”

 

Back still turned to her, Catra spoke over her shoulder. “They don’t need me babysitting them from every mean thing some idiot says.”

 

Adora huffed aggressively from her nose. "And can you stop calling me an idiot?"

 

Scoffing audibly, toned with disbelief, Catra paused to count on her fingers. "I literally only said 'idiot' twice directed at you. Are you actually taking offense? Over _that?"_

 

Finally at her wit’s end, having reasonably put up with her for long enough, Adora dropped herself face first on her bed with an over-the-top groan. There wasn't any follow-up retort about it, either, thankfully. In the couple minutes of silence that it took for Catra to fully undress and redress in the new clothes, a tension started forming in the air. Electrically charged emotions on the rise. Just as she had picked up the discarded vest, Adora spoke again, much softer and filled with obvious sadness and disappointment. “You said you were gonna try, Catra…”

 

That caught her attention, her heartstrings being tugged at pretty strongly. Turning her body some in Adora’s direction and her head in the rest, just holding that blue vest, Catra was quiet for another few seconds. Internally, she was kicking herself for already making shit difficult, controlled again by a nasty attitude and missing the necessary gratefulness. “...I’m sorry. I _am_ going to try. I promise I won’t make a scene at dinner…” After saying so, she turned her head away in guilt before Adora could push herself up enough to look over.

 

Sighing again, she rolled off of the bed and just as the vest was on her once again, Adora gently hugged Catra from behind. It was weird, and awkward. Adora didn’t really know where to wrap her arms and Catra didn’t move at all. She settled on her waist, just a bit under her ribs with a loose grip.

 

After a moment of standing there in a thick, uncomfortable silence, with Adora hanging in the air with the gesture, Catra decided push through her apprehension to take one of her hands; sliding it up one arm and intertwining their fingers with the other hand when they touched— it was the only way she felt she could respond. At the same time, they squeezed one another.

 

The message was clear, comforting, and they both relaxed a little with soft nervous laughter. In that moment, they felt their old bond spark again.

 

Then, Adora began turning her friend around. The awkwardness died with the release. “Let me see.” Holding her out at arm’s length, hands on her shoulders, Adora looked her up and down. Catra glanced away, suddenly a tad embarrassed by the examination, and didn't want to make eye contact. It didn't go by Adora unnoticed, making her think they were feeling the same way. She pulled herself back a little and was quick and decisive in cutting through the new kind of tension. “Honestly? Big improvement. Blue and gold compliment your eyes better.”

 

A harmless comment, and one that held true. Rather than a harsh red-on-red color scheme, the new clothes brought a lot more contrast. More attention to her eyes. The both of them felt a bit of a mental stutter with the acknowledgement, only a bit of red rising to their faces. Adora’s smile felt contagious.

 

Catra tried to fight the one wanting to grow on her own face. “L-let’s just go already,” she said softly, making long strides to the door and leaving Adora to catch up.

 

* * *

 

The two got steadily closer together as they walked down the halls, instinctively seeking the comfort of the other’s presence. When they got back to being side by side, Adora gave the new outfit another once-over. The top was almost identical to what she was just wearing but gold, minus some padded armor, which can be added later if that’s what Catra wanted.

 

Looking down, the blue leggings had distinctive long claw-made holes in similar spots her old ones had. Holes that were definitely not there before. However, if it made Catra happy and comfortable… it’s not like she was ever going to wear them.

 

They passed by plenty of patrolling guards, who paid them little mind. While they definitely didn’t recognize Catra and were probably briefed about her being here by this time of day, Adora really believed that having a different outfit was already working in their favor.

 

There wasn’t much of anything spoken between them as they got closer to the dining hall. Small talk didn’t really seem to be something either of them were interested in doing.

 

When they got to a set of large doors, which could be reasonably assumed as the entryway to dinner— Catra could smell it— Adora turned around and grabbed Catra’s forearms. “So, if you’re sure about this— cause we can still turn around and go back to my room— let me go in first and defuse the situation before it goes off, then I’ll tell you to come in, alright?”

 

Watching the anxious look in her eyes, Catra felt like this probably wasn’t the time or place to act out of spite just because Adora wants to take care of her, as much as she wanted to. It was aggravating to be sheltered by her like this; she can fight her own battles. However, she also understood the precariousness of her situation. Probably better to let her. Crossing her arms, she did her best to restrain her inherent annoyance, in favor of appearing a little more grateful. “Yeah.. fine… Just don’t take too long.”

 

Beaming a smile at her, Adora’s hands slid down to wrap around Catra’s and gave a happy and relieved squeeze. “Okay! Just stay close to the edge of the door so the Queen can see you, if barely. She’ll understand if I’m trying to stop an incident from happening before it happens. Sit tight!”

 

Rolling her eyes, Catra followed Adora the rest of the way to the door and pressed her back against the frame as the other woman opened it and stepped in a couple of feet.

 

“Adora!” shouted Glimmer, immediately rising from her seat with a very happy look on her face. Then, it shrunk down to a confused raise of an eyebrow as she sat herself back down. “I thought you were having a personal day?”

 

Rubbing the back of her neck, Adora instinctively avoided eye contact but forced herself to meet the princess’ gaze. “Yeah, about that… I kind of lied earlier.”

 

That received a squinting suspicious look from Glimmer, and a neutral eyebrow raise now from her mother. “What do you mean you lied? Did you… not have a fight with mom?”

 

The mom in question now widened her eyes a little before giving a pointed look at Adora as the younger woman sucked in an anxious breath. “Uhm… Not that part, exactly. It was kind of worse than a fight…” Swallowing the fear, she just got it out. Rip off the leech. “Entrapta is still alive. She’s been alive. I’ve known she was alive. But she’s back now. She defected from the Horde. With Scorpia… and Catra.”

 

There was a thick, heavy silence for a pregnant moment, the two of them having distinctly different looks of disbelief. The Queen held one that suggested she wasn’t too happy with the way she was presenting this information, but her lips remained sealed. Glimmer was just shocked… until she turned angry and slammed both hands on the table. Which made Catra jump a little from just outside the room.

 

 _Smooth, Adora,_ Catra thought, pressing a hand into her face.

 

“What do you mean— Adora! I—What—When—” She looked to the Queen. “Mom?!”

 

“Just as dawn broke, a Horde shuttle arrived just beyond the border, greeted by a battalion we had stationed throughout the night after receiving a message from Princess Entrapta. I was uncertain if it was some kind of trap, so I made preparations. She had believed that we abandoned her, and did not return when we thought she had perished. Adora, _apparently,_ knew quite some time before now, and kept it to herself,” the Queen offered.

 

Now Glimmer was extra mad and aiming it directly at Adora, who was clenching and unclenching her fists while her heart was hammering in her skull. “Adora?!! Why?! Why would you let Entrapta stay with the Horde?! Why didn’t you tell us she was alive?! We could’ve rescued her!”

 

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you… Not to mention she didn’t _want_ to come back. Not without her friends—”

 

“ _We_ are her friends!”

 

“Look, Glimmer—” Adora sighed. “They’re all here. In the castle. As defectors. They’re with us now and are going to help us _fight_ the Horde. Your mom has—”

 

“YOU MEAN THOSE MONSTERS ARE HERE?!” Glimmer shouted, jumping out of her seat a second time, absolutely ready to run all around the castle to grab and throw them both out from the tallest tower they have.

 

“Glimmer, sit back down. Now,” the Queen demanded sternly, which was unfortunately effectively ignored.

 

“They want to fix things! They want to make amends! I know they did a lot of bad things, but they’re not bad people. I’ve done bad things too, Glimmer!”

 

“They’re _lying!_ ” Glimmer screamed with actual agony.

 

It was Angella’s turn to rise from her seat, and with a commanding tone, directed towards her daughter, said, “Glimmer. You will sit down immediately and restrain yourself. Everything has already been decided, and I can assure you I am far more displeased with the circumstances than you can imagine. You _will not_ harm any of them.”

 

The two of them entered a glaring contest, and considering the mood the Queen has been in all day, it wasn’t that much of a surprise that Glimmer was the one to back down. Looking away angrily, she sat down again and crossed her arms. Her gaze settled on Adora a couple of seconds later. There was a lot of hurt in those eyes, and she knew exactly what memories were playing in her head.

 

“I’m sorry, Glimmer. You have my word that they won’t hurt anyone else. They just need the same chance that you gave me, the chance to do the right thing, knowing they've done wrong. Will you give them that chance? If not for anything else, then for me?”

 

Sitting in the air was a thick, anxious tension. Adora was pleading with more than just her words, Queen Angella had resumed her neutral state, and Glimmer looked to be fighting within herself over how to feel and what to do. She half expected to be told to essentially shove it. It really was a lot to ask for, _especially_ from Glimmer.

 

In the end, she sighed heavily and resigned. “Fine. I guess I can let them try to make amends… I won’t trust them probably ever, but I trust _you_ , Adora. Please don’t let this become a disaster, and don't let your guard down.”

 

Adora heaved out her sigh of relief, and pressing her palms together she looked to her friend in gratitude. “Thanks, Glimmer. That means so much. It really does.” Then she turned her head to look over her shoulder at the doorway. “You can come inside, now.”

 

A couple heartbeats past before Catra made the leap and stepped into sight, arms still crossed and a foul expression on her face that she hasn’t been able to get rid of. Though, it wasn’t too bad if compared with her real nasty looks. To her, it felt like she was entering the line of fire and really wasn't ready even as she entered.

 

Glimmer instantly made a sound akin to choking, and raised her hand to point an accusatory finger. “Wait— You didn’t say _anything_ about—”

 

“Glimmer put your hand down,” the Queen interrupted quickly. Very reluctantly, she complied. “As part of the _agreement_ , Catra is prohibited from being left alone until she has proven herself a genuine defector and not a spy or assassin. She _has_ to be here. Please act appropriately.”

 

Adora gave her a silent look of gratitude and situated herself and Catra on the opposite side of the table. Hostility sat hotly in the air, Glimmer and Catra glaring at each other over the table, with the food not having been served quite yet. Angella was probably going to stay out of it until it started getting out of hand… which Adora desperately hoped it wouldn’t. It didn’t take Entrapta’s brain to see just how short the Queen's last straw was. The day's been an actual shitshow for her.

 

She noticed Catra’s tail whipping sharply around every couple of seconds, indicating just how much of a stress this is for her, too. Understandable, of course. Leave one hostile environment to enter another, she really couldn't be faulted for the way she's been pushing back. As subtle as possible, Adora moved her hand from under the table and slipped her fingers under the ones Catra has clutching her arm, easing the grip she had on herself.

 

There was the slightest of jerks from being startled, but Catra was expertly capable of hiding little reflexes like that and remaining visibly impassive. Only Adora was able to tell that she was relaxing some now, Catra’s tail slowing down and her fingers gently grazing over Adora’s, rather than digging into her own flesh.

 

All while this was going on, Adora herself was watching the silent fight between her two friends. It hurt a little bit, but she knew that it would take… quite a bit of time, actually, for them to become more comfortable around each other. Especially between these two. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but Adora would love for them to actually like each other and get along, eventually.

 

For now though, they both had other plans: hate the living daylights out of each other until one of them just leaves existence. However, Adora was a bit surprised that Catra was actually _trying_ to not be antagonizing. Impressive, among other things.

 

Then her eyes squinted slightly at the thought. To be admittedly fair to Catra, she didn’t expect Glimmer to hold herself back for this long, either. Maybe they’re more alike than Adora’s realized before. Seeing the whole comparison made the smallest of laughs escape.

 

Pretty much within the same second, Catra was giving her an accusatory look. In a voice just bordering on a whisper, she asked, “And what exactly is so funny?”

 

Quickly bringing on her own impassive and innocent look, Adora moved her gaze elsewhere and in the same volume replied, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The humor was cutting right through the anxiety in the room.

 

Catra gave a mischievous scoff. “Don’t play _that_ line, liar. I bet it was something stupid, anyway. You’re real good at that.”

 

Adora rolled her eyes and slipped Catra her own cocky smirk. “You’d be the expert on the subject, wouldn’t you?”

 

A sly grin spread across the feline’s face. “Ooohh, is that how we’re gonna play this game?”

 

Watching the two of them from the other side of the table was a very upset Glimmer. Still trying to understand just how one of her most hated people on the planet was now sitting across from her, in _her_ dining hall, in _her_ castle. Still trying to understand why Adora let herself go through so much for… _her._ To her, it was inconceivable, but there she was, in that very situation. This completely blindsided her and rushing to the forefront of her mind were all the possibilities of how this could go wrong and blow up.

 

However, at the end of the young adults’ humor train, Adora looked up to see a lot of emotion in her friend’s face. Just as she opened her mouth to offer comfort, the doors to the kitchens opened and several servants moved in to place the freshly made food all across the table.

 

It caught Glimmer off guard, and she was able to compose herself better, having an adequate distraction. The other two had looked over when they started filing in. A look of anticipation was all over Adora’s face. It made Glimmer smile. Eyes jumping over to the other woman, she watched as Catra eyed all of the metal covers with suspicion. As all of the meals were revealed, those dual colored eyes blew up wider than she had ever imagined.

 

That wasn’t the only thing she caught during that moment. Catra was still looking at all of it in disbelief.

 

 _That’s right…_ Glimmer thought, _She came from the same place Adora did…_ She swallowed. It was just that little bit harder to hate her in that moment. Seeing Catra’s hands touch Adora’s arm without a care in the world and ask if all of the food was real. To see how she then lit up was such a weird and disturbing thing for her.

 

She didn’t look like a monster… She looked like a person.

 

* * *

 

Adora was so happy and relieved by the end of dinner.

 

As soon as the food had been served, the overall mood started lightening up. It was a little heartwarming, she thinks, for the Queen and Glimmer to see Catra behave like an actual person who is capable of actual emotions. There was a couple of scuffs between her and Glimmer after conversation started passing around the table more, but they were quickly moved passed. Hopefully water under the bridge.

 

It wasn’t perfect, and she knew that Catra was putting a lot of effort into acting like she wasn’t completely uncomfortable. Adora only had to reach over a couple of more times during the whole thing to keep things stable, so that was good.

 

After dinner came to an end, Glimmer and her mom said their good-nights and she walked to the other side of Adora, since they share rooms in the same hallway.

 

While not as intense as before, there was definitely a wary and distrusting vibe hanging over them. Adora was right in the center of it, too. But she expected this. She’s actually made quite a few plans for how it would work in the early days of her offer to Catra, unable to help herself with having hope. That was weeks ago.

 

Too bad not much of it was coming back to her while she was _in_ the situation.

 

All three of them stopped once they got to the doors of Adora’s room. There was mutual feeling of uncertainty about what to exactly do. “So… Catra,” Adora started. “With the Queen’s orders, you’re gonna have to bunk with me.”

 

Catra just shrugged. “I kinda assumed as much. Nothing I’m not already used to.”

 

A slightly awkward laugh left her. “Go on in. I’ll just be a second.”

 

Adora got a weird look from Catra, who then gave Glimmer a similar look. Without words, she nodded once and stepped inside, leaving the door cracked open.

 

Then Adora turned to Glimmer, who was now feeling a little embarrassed for the lack of subtly involved in getting the two of them alone. “I know you’re worried, and you have every right to be. Me and Catra aren’t… up to speed yet. It’s gonna take us both a little time to get everything out and start healing. But things are going to get much better from here on. I promise that this is genuine. Keep faith in me, okay?”

 

The hand and gentle squeeze to her shoulder, alongside the comforting words, made Glimmer sigh softly and smile with a slightly relieved look, even if she didn't wholly feel that way. “Okay. I trust you.” She glanced to the door for just a moment, and spoke again after the silence. “Goodnight then, I guess, Adora. Sweet dreams.”

 

Returning the smile, Adora nodded. “You too, Glimmer.” She stayed outside her room a moment longer and watched her friend turn around and teleport away. Then she stepped inside, clicking the door close behind her.

 

It didn’t take beyond a second to find Catra returned to the chair and that vest hanging over the back of it. Walking over, she looked down at her friend as she made small adjustments to her positioning. “What?” she asked.

 

“Just… You sure you want to sleep on a chair?” Adora asked with a hint of nervousness. “There’s better options, y’know…”

 

They both knew exactly what this was about. Neither of them were really sure about it, even as Adora made the initiative to offer. To test the waters. They held an even gaze for about a minute, but it was Catra who looked away and turned her head.

 

“I… I think I’ll stay here. I’m tired,” she said, kind of muffled and in a soft voice. Before Adora could say something else, Catra confirmed her decision by twisting a little more and half hang her head on the armrest, eyes closed.

 

Still, Adora stood there for a moment longer, fists clenching repeatedly and swallowed her pang of disappointment. Without a word, she walked off and to her bed. She peeled off layers until she was down to her last before climbing in.

 

Pulling the covers up, Adora took one more glance over to where Catra lay across the room. Everything was so quiet. With a voice just touching the border of a whisper, she said to her, “Goodnight, Catra… I’m glad you’re here.”

 

Not trusting herself with words, Catra returned the gesture with a loud enough “Mmhm,” but otherwise didn’t move or say anything. Her back was turned to Adora.

 

Silence descended upon them as the moons rose ever higher.

 

* * *

 

Being left alone with her thoughts was, in fact, not a very good way to achieve sleep. It didn’t matter how exhausted she felt, or how much just getting through dinner took out of her. The day has done nothing but yank her around back and forth between something awesome and something miserable.

 

It seems it wasn’t quite done with her yet.

 

It must’ve been hours of tossing and turning in that chair, no position staying comfortable for more than about 15 minutes, if that. Whenever her thoughts did trail off and she was so close to dropping, something else caught her attention. Footsteps from the patrolling guards beyond the room's walls, the call of some woodland critter from the outside, or plain old paranoia.

 

Passively, Catra wondered if she was being yanked towards ‘awesome’ or towards ‘miserable’ right now.

 

Trying so hard to sleep was really wearing down the last of her patience. Her head had started hurting a long time ago and was steadily getting worse, which only added fuel to her agitated state.

 

After a 5 minute fit of non-stop moving for a comfortable spot, Catra gave up. She pushed herself up until she was upright and after rubbing her eyes, looked around the room.

 

Even though the moonlight offered some normal vision, she could still see pretty clearly in the darker corners. It took a little bit of time to build up the energy to get off the chair, but eventually she did, and walked slowly around the room.

 

This place was nothing like the Fright Zone. It was surreal to her to think that this whole space was sectioned off for a single person. It was bigger than her Force Captain’s quarters, by a long shot. Catra stepped closer to the window where most of the moonlight was coming from. Looking out at the whole of Bright Moon, she felt like an invader. A foreign entity. Like she would never belong here.

 

She wanted that feeling to go away. She wanted to hope she was wrong. It was hard to understand how the Adora she knew could adjust to this place as quick as she did. So bright and colorful, where everyone had obnoxiously optimistic attitudes. Sure, Adora was a good person, but it didn’t feel like it should make sense that she’s comfortable here. Catra certainly wasn’t.

 

Gazing up to the moons, Catra put a hand over her chest and clutched the fabric of her shirt in her fist, wondering just how much Adora has really changed. Wondering if they’d be able to get back what they had. Dreading the possibility of whatever they end up creating this time will be… worse.

 

There was still doubt about whether or not she deserved this. Despite how far Catra had come with her own sense of self-worth, it wasn’t foolproof. She was in a weak state… but that was okay, right? That was kind of the whole point? It was okay to have moments of weakness, because coming out on the other side helped make her stronger. She knew it did, but in that moment it didn’t really feel that way.

 

Opening the window, Catra sat down on the sill, one leg hanging off and the other knee held up to her chest. There was a cool, moderate breeze, with a stronger gust every so often sweeping inside and pushing against her hair. It felt nice. She even forgot about her headache.

 

As she lost herself in thought, another gust ran past Catra’s form, whipping her hair around some and into the room. It was a bit colder than those before it, and the shiver Adora had slowly stirred her from slumber.

 

With the room silent, it took a couple of minutes for Adora to wake enough to notice the gentle winds. There was never any wind when she slept. When she realized that, she rubbed her eyes and slowly pushed herself up from the bed. Just enough to look over the pillows.

 

“Catra…” she whispered hoarsely.

 

The sudden shattering of the silence made Catra jump a little and yanked her right out of her thoughts. Looking over her shoulder, she met Adora’s gaze and furrowed her brows. “Sorry,” she whispered back. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

As she got off the window sill and reached for the knob to pull it back closed, Adora shook herself a little more awake and asked softly, “Wait, what’s wrong?”

 

Catra was silent for a few seconds as she mentally debated what she wanted to say. “...Nothing.” Turning away from the window after clicking it securely, she saw Adora start pushing herself further off of the bed. “Just go back to sleep, I’m fine,” she pressed a little harder.

 

“Liar,” came the short, equally pressing response. “You don’t have to bottle everything anymore.”

 

“I don’t bottle anything…” Catra muttered weakly.

 

“Hey,” Adora called softly, encouraging her lonesome friend to look back over at her. When she saw the weird colored reflection in Catra’s black-filled eyes looking back at her, she patted the spot on the bed to her left. “I know things are raw, still, but I do want to rebuild trust with you. You can talk to me.”

 

A hard and confused look grew on Catra’s face, her eyes focusing somewhere unspecific on the floor. Her arms crossed over her chest and her hands gripped her elbows tightly. She didn’t say anything, so Adora did. “Thank you… for earlier. During dinner. I asked a lot of you, but you did it anyway. That means a lot. You made me really happy.”

 

There was another period without words, stretching for a fairly long time. Just as Adora was about to give up for the night and say her final piece, Catra was walking over towards her and sitting on the bed.

 

Still not looking at Adora, she spoke in a weak and quiet voice. “...Can’t sleep. It’s too quiet. Too weird. I’m stuck in my head.”

 

Adora gave a half-hearted chuckle, putting a hand on Catra’s shoulder. “I know. Bow and Glimmer had to sleep in here with me for like, 2 weeks. Still had a hard time after that, anyway. I couldn’t stop worrying about… everything, honestly.” Shifting a little bit closer, Adora slid her hand a little out of the way to lay her head against her friend. “I worried about you most of all. I hated every moment fighting against you… No matter what was said or done, I still worried. Couldn’t help it. I felt hurt, and guilty.”

 

Hearing a heavy sigh, Adora felt Catra relax her head against her own, and a soft tail curling around her wrist. “Me too… I hated that I couldn’t just… hate you. Just kept pushing me to go farther, but I only ever made it worse.”

 

Trailing her hand down Catra’s back, her fingers traced lazy shapes against the fabric of her shirt. “I understand…” she started, but found herself momentarily distracted by a thought of her own. One that prompted her to lift herself off of Catra and embrace her 'properly.' It was kind of uncomfortable, with them both twisting their waists in a weird angle, but it was immediately reciprocated. “You being here is a wish come true.”

 

Shuddering with emotion, clawed fingers clutched the back of Adora’s shirt as Catra hugged her a little tighter. “Promise me, Adora…” Letting out a shaky sigh, it took a moment before she broke the embrace and looked into Adora’s eyes. “Promise that you won’t abandon me again. That you meant everything you said when you asked me to come with you. That you’ll let me make up for being a shit friend, too.”

 

In a twist of fate, it was Adora who would begin to form tears, nodding repeatedly. “Yeah. I promise. I promise you that things will be better here. That you can trust me this time. That we’ll look out for each other, and not let anything bad happen to either of us. I promise you the chance of redemption.”

 

Emotions rising high, neither one of them said anything for a few moments after that, but both of them breathing unevenly. Then it was Catra’s turn to nod, and stutter out, “O-okay.” A couple of seconds, and they both laughed nervously. “I… I guess I’ll try to sleep again.”

 

Just as she made to get off the bed, Adora stopped her with a hand around her wrist. They shared a look. Both scared, and vulnerable. Both uncertain. Things weren’t perfect… but they deserved a moment of peace.

 

Instead of trying again to climb off the bed, Catra instead leaned back and rolled over onto her side, back to Adora. As Adora followed her lead, she shifted around until she found a comfortable position next to her.

 

With both of them facing the same direction, it didn’t take long between the sinking weight of their bodies on the bed and them shifting closer together for them to press up against one another. The mess of wild brown hair tickled Adora’s face as she adjusted her head to fit against the back of Catra’s neck. Strong arms slid into perfect place around her lean body, and with one of Catra’s hands laying on top of one of Adora’s, it only felt right that their fingers lace together.

 

Neither of them really realized how much they had missed this comfort and warmth until they had it again. It didn’t matter if they might not do this again for a while. If it happens only after they become more settled in and more open to communicating and working past the scars they’ve inflicted on each other.

 

For that night, though, they indulged. Sleep took them both within minutes, wrapped up in the security, the familiarity, and the euphoria of their bond coming back to life.

 

With the rise of the next dawn, love rises with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you thought that maybe I wouldn't update today because I gave an early one, surprise! I wasn't gonna skip posting today. It takes me a little while to read over the chapters one last time before posting, but honestly? Totally worth it. I hope you enjoyed the honeymoon period, cause next chapter, the ball is gonna start rolling.
> 
> I'm so happy to have had such a positive reception so far, thank you all so much for reading and your shows of support. I care about what you have to say about this story, and I'm doing my best to deliver something I believe is good and worthwhile. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you for the next one (probably Sunday)!


	4. Reunions and Resentments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat's out of the bag, almost literally. After a very long and tumultuous day, Catra was both willing and able to sit through a private dinner with both Queen Angella and Princess Glimmer— both of which have very deep grudges against her, and for good reason. It was an unexpected success, one both she and Adora celebrated with a quiet and peaceful night*.
> 
> *It ended that way, at least!
> 
> Warnings/Heads-up: Mention of scars, implied nudity, implied mention of abuse if you squint (but not really it's super vague). Also a pretty tame chapter.

**** When Adora began to stir from sleep, the sun was well into the morning sky. The bed was far enough inside the room that having it beaming right into her face was an avoided annoyance. She didn’t open her eyes right away, instead directing her waking focus on the comfort of the bed and feeling Catra breathe against her.

 

Taking her own deep breath, her focus was drawn to her sense of touch, feeling her lungs fill and press against Catra’s back. The wild mass of brown hair hadn’t moved from where it was pushed on the other side of her head, seemingly not too much that it was pulling. Really soft, too. It was close enough that Adora caught a bit of the other’s tangy scent. 

 

In the wake of her euphoria, almost everything about Catra’s presence was welcomed. It was great waking up the same way they went to sleep, on top of it. Its rare for her to ever sleep so comfortably. Neither of them had really moved at all. Despite her restfulness, Adora stayed exactly where she was. If anything, after flexing her sluggish and stiff muscles a little, she wrapped around Catra just that bit more tightly.

 

Their hands were still locked together, too.

 

Stretching her hands and fingers without moving too much and causing a disturbance was a bit tricky, but it was worth it to get the blood flowing again. There was a good chance that as soon as Catra woke up, she’d want to pull away and put a little space between them. Which was understandable, cause another part of her was saying the same thing.

 

It was a bit more than just a compulsion to keep her best friend close. The war kept them apart, and it had been far too long since they were able to be so open and expressive— for Horde standards, anyway. A few more minutes won’t hurt.

 

With a soft sigh, Adora whispered oh so quietly to the sleeping form of Catra, “I’ve missed you.” A sad smile spread across her face as she stopped thinking and went back to feeling.

 

There was only a few seconds to do that, cause a hoarse and groggy voice broke through the silence, “I missed you too… You’re kinda suffocating me, a little bit.” Almost immediately Adora just about let go of her entirely, hands withdrawing to Catra’s waist as she took in a whole breath. A coldness settled in the now gaping spaces where her muscled arms just were.

 

Deciding to make use of this newfound freedom, Catra began stretching widely, limbs all going out as far as they can and she rolled onto her stomach. Bringing her arms back to give her head a little elevation, the two of them met eyes.

 

“Nice bedhead, princess,” Catra quipped, starting the day off with her toying attitude.

 

Adora gave a scratchy chuckle, which was then followed up by a short yawn. “First, I’m only a princess part of the time, so jot that down. Second, I don’t know who you think you’re talking to with that jungle on your head.” To emphasize her point, she reached out and dove her hand into Catra’s wild mane and ruffled it playfully.

 

While she was in fact laughing about it, Catra was still trying to swat the invading limb away. “Hey! Get out of my hair! Ah!” She managed to successfully fend off Adora’s attacks, pushing her away. Now they were both laughing freely.

 

Then Catra stretched some again before rolling out of bed. From where Adora still laid, perched on her elbow, she caught glimpses of Catra’s back as she messed with her hair. At the newfound muscle tones and the battle scars that peeked out along her shoulders and arms. Part of it was aesthetically pleasing; muscled women were very attractive. The other part… she was unfamiliar with many of those wounds.

 

“My eyes are up here,  _ princess, _ ” Catra teased with a sly smirk, having caught Adora staring at her and spacing out.

 

Instead of getting a rise out of Adora, all she got was an immediate pillow to the face. “I’d watch it if I were you. I’ve got a lot more where that came from,” Adora laughed out.

 

Picking the offending plush back up, Catra just chucked it right back over. It was caught, but that was irrelevant. “Oh I’m  _ soooo _ scared!” she mocked, “I’m quivering in fear. No, really.”

 

Rolling her eyes, it was now Adora’s turn to roll out of bed. “Whatever. I’ll show you mercy,  _ this time _ .” Looking over her shoulder after stretching her arms upwards and giving a very nice view of her own back muscles, she gave a humorous wink and made to get dressed.

 

Catra definitely wasn’t staring either. She was looking exactly everywhere else. It helps the lie that she actually is looking for something anyway. “Where can I shower? That pool thing over there?”

 

“Haha, no. That’s  _ apparently _ not for showering. I already asked.” She pointed over at a closed door on the other side of the room. “Right there. Knock yourself out. Oh— and make sure you  _ read _ what everything says before you start filling your hands with stuff. There’s like a bazillion bottles and I still don’t know what half of them are really for.”

 

An eyebrow rose at the warning, Catra leveling her with a questioning look. “Ooookay. Sure. As if I was gonna touch stuff I’ve never seen before.” She missed the look Adora gave her and strolled into the bathing room, door clicking behind her.

 

It was only a few seconds before she heard Catra yelling, “WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS?!”

 

* * *

 

"I just don’t get it! How could this have happened?! Why didn’t my mom  _ tell _ me what was going on? And Adora— When did she even—  _ BOW! ” _

 

Jumping in his skin from the chair he was sitting in, Bow looked up at the restless Glimmer, who had stopped pacing back and forth. “I don’t think getting mad about it is gonna do anything.”

 

Glimmer huffed out her nose in agitation, a scowl on her face. “I’m not mad! ...Not totally mad!” Then she sighed and flopped down on the floor, quickly looking defeated and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I’m mostly just really hurt that Adora hid this from us…”

 

Sliding himself off the edge of the chair to sit on the floor next to the upset princess, Bow put a hand on one of her shoulders. “Look, I really wish she told us too, but we can’t  _ make her _ open up. We know how bad she’s felt about everything that’s happened with Catra. It’s not our business to pry.” When Glimmer looked up at him, the beginning of tears forming in her eyes, Bow had a comforting smile ready. “And just because she didn’t tell us, doesn’t mean she didn’t trust us with it. It was probably just something she felt was too personal, and wanted to handle alone. No problem with that.”

 

An arm made its way around Glimmer’s shoulders and she was pulled into a gentle embrace. She smiled, “I guess that makes sense… But I hope that we can still talk about this with her today. Adora isn’t the only person who’s been hurt by Catra, we’ve got stuff we need to say too!”

 

Nodding, Bow voiced his agreement. “Of course. I have no doubt that she’ll let us have our parts. I also think we should try to stay open-minded, and give her and Scorpia a chance. We can't exactly tell them to beat it.”

 

The mention of Scorpia made Glimmer perk up in sudden realization. “We also need to find out where Entrapta is and go see her!” Gasping, she teleported off the floor and upright a couple feet from where she was. “I can’t really believe she’s been helping the Horde, but mom said that she was welcome to rejoin the Princess Alliance, so she wasn’t with the Horde to be evil! That's good at least! I'm not sure I would be able to forgive her if she was being evil.”

 

Rising to his feet the normal way, Bow grinned. “I’m excited to see her too, but I think we should get Adora first. She might know where Entrapta actually  _ is. _ ”

 

Right as he finished suggesting that, a flash of purple collided with him in a partial hug and they vanished from Glimmer’s room to reappear in the middle of Adora’s.

 

“ADORA!”

 

“GUH!” From where she was on the edge of the bed flipping through pages of a book, Adora jumped to her feet and entered a fighting stance in the direction of the startling disturbance. “Glimmer! Bow!” When she saw them and understood what happened, she dropped her guard back down and had a wide smile on her face.

 

However, after a couple seconds of nobody saying anything, the room started filling with tension, and her smile faltered a bit. “Uh, so, how are you guys this morning?” Adora asked with an awkward tone. 

 

Bow spoke up first. “Well, if we’re honest, we’re a  _ little _ upset about yesterday, but we’re sure you have your reasons and were planning to talk to us about it at some point.” The description of exactly how upset they were got him a side-eye from Glimmer. “And we also want to see Entrapta and let her know how  _ freakin’ happy _ we are that she’s alive! We're willing to overlook the Horde thing for right now to appreciate her actually not being dead.”

 

While she knew that Bow was undercutting things, the mention of Entrapta made her perk up. “That’s a great idea, actually! I don’t know where she is exactly, but your mom will know. We should also probably find Scorpia while we’re at it.” The mood flattened a little again when Adora said that. “We should probably sit down and… talk. All together, but first with you guys.”

 

With a gesture, Adora lead them to the little ‘hang out and chill’ portion of the room, which consisted of a throw rug, two cushiony seats and one that wasn’t so plush. Each of them sat in their respective place and silence descended upon them, save for the muffled sound of running water in the background.

 

Adora was fidgeting with her fingers, not looking up at her friends and instead at the floor as she tried to string together an outline of how she wanted to approach this. Her friends waited patiently, if a bit anxious themselves.

 

It was hard for everybody involved, watching and listening to Adora tell her larger tale of life with the Horde. There was a lot more about her time there that she was telling them about than she had before. Catra’s life, and her suffering included. Many times her voice had faltered and needed a few seconds to even it back out. Nobody was really comfortable. As she explained herself, her actions, and Catra’s, no one made eye contact. Every pair was looking at something else. Whether it was fidgeting fingers, or the fabric of gloves, or picking at something on a shoe.

 

She exhaled slowly, and breathed in again deeply through her nose, successfully keeping herself composed and present. It didn’t go past Glimmer and Bow how shaky she was, inside and out. “I know that’s no excuse for everything she’s done. Just because she was struggling with herself doesn’t mean she’s absolved of responsibility. The important part is  _ she _ acknowledges it. Defecting was asking so much of her, but she decided she wanted to make the change and… now she’s here.”

 

When she finished, Adora held her head in her hands, focusing on breathing. So the other two shared a look, with Glimmer speaking first. “That’s… horrible. I’m sorry. Nobody should be forced to go through things like that.”

 

Glimmer got a dry and emotionless chuckle from Adora. “Yeah. Kinda guilt trippy to feed you a sob story to make you hate her less, but the point was actually to give you a better context. See where she’s coming from and what her motivations were… rather than thinking she was evil for the sake of being evil or whatever.”

 

Pushing herself back to not just an upright position, but leaning deep into the chair and letting her head hang, Adora heaved out a long sigh as she did so. “Some of her actions during the war were also under orders. Catra’s never… never been  _ evil _ . A cheater, short-cutter and spiteful minimalist, sure. But not evil...” The train of thought continued in her head, but she sealed her lips at that point, quickly losing comfort in speaking aloud what she wanted to keep saying.

 

There was a sudden, resounding clap that caught the attention of Adora and Glimmer. Looking over, Bow’s palms were pressed together in front of him and he had kind of a real serious face on.

 

“Bow…?” Glimmer questioned, looking pretty concerned.

 

“I think…” he started, purposefully trailing off for dramatic effect. Which worked, because both the girls were leaning forward, anticipating what he was wanting to say. “I think that we should all start hanging out together!”

 

Both of them sighed sharply in exasperation, both relieved that it wasn’t something out of character. “What better way to get to know somebody and making our own judgments than by spending time with them? The Horde's an oppressive environment, right? You had to act certain ways and believe in certain things, no choice included? That's no way to get to know how someone _really_ is. Now that they're here, and Glimmer's mom made it clear we can't kick them out, maybe we'll all get to see new sides to them. So we gotta all hang out!”

 

Looking at each other again in surprise, the two princesses started nodding at one another, then at Bow. “Yeah,” Adora said, “That sounds awesome, actually. Great idea, Bow.”

 

He smiled proudly, and even seemed a little excited himself at the prospect. “I’d much rather have friends than enemies!”

 

All of them started laughing softly, silently agreeing with him.

 

It was much better to have friends than enemies.

 

* * *

 

It was  _ amazing _ to not have a limit on shower time or on hot water usage. Catra swears she’s probably been under the water for an hour, just soaking up the slight burning all over her body. All her thoughts and worries just melted away.

 

After the initial shock of the size and contents of the bathing room, it took a few minutes to figure out what was what and how it worked, reluctant to call for Adora’s help when she didn’t  _ really _ need it. There were rows upon rows of every kind of bottle and other shape of bathing product one could imagine. Beyond her imagination, actually. Not just on shelves on the wall, but lining the rim of a giant tub, which had a place to sit down under the showerhead.

 

At the Fright Zone, there were only ever 10 stalls across a single training barracks, split down the middle and placed on opposite ends of the building. No doors, only panels separating them all. The bathing room she and Adora used, one of them didn’t even work! The ones that did only had 3 heat settings, affectionately named: Frozen Death, Lukewarm Disappointment, and Scalding Suffering. On top of all of that, it was always a race at the crack of dawn to get to them first for a slightly better ‘Lukewarm Disappointment’. It was a rare commodity even though the shower times were limited to 15 minutes.

 

Catra had to form an optimal routine real quick if she wanted to step out clean. It sucked.

 

Today though, she was soaked all the way down, and loving it.

 

Eventually, she began to get overstimulated from it. First she turned the heat setting down a couple notches, then leaned over to start examining the labels of the bottles, looking for something for her hair and something for everything else.

 

What she found, though, forced her to reread them several times. “What the… Exfoliating deep clean foam? High intensity body polish? Super shine face oil?” Catra blinked several times, and whispered to herself with a straining sound. “What the fuck do these mean?!”

 

Now confused and quickly getting irritated from not being able to find something that made  _ sense, _ Catra literally knocked the bottles she passed off of the rim onto the floor and promptly forgot the nonsense the bottles made her read.

 

There must’ve been like 20 of them on the floor by the time she found a couple that said ‘body soap’ at the end. Voicing her pleasure at the sight, she grabbed the first one she saw. Same scenario played again in the form of ‘hair soap.’ 

 

Time resumed its state of not mattering as Catra took as long as she pleased. After rinsing, she didn’t stay under the water for too much longer, flipping it off and grabbed one of the fluffiest towels she’s ever encountered. It felt weird against her, but the other 5 towels were exactly the same, just in different colors and designs. The one she started drying herself with was the one that made her want to gag the least.

 

When she was done, her hair felt great. Looked pretty good too. Catra admired the way it stuck out more, amplifying its inherent wild quality. However, her bangs were now kind of a more noticeable annoyance. Lazing around without something holding them out of her face was fine, but for going through an active day, not as great. Tolerable, but not as great.

 

Too bad she didn’t have anything besides her abandoned faceplate to solve the problem. Was there something else she could use? Looking around, all she spotted were hair ties, which weren’t hers and not really what she was looking for. Not like they’re strong enough anyway.

 

Maybe Adora will know.

 

Stepping towards the door with an arm over her chest and the towel around her waist, she opened the door and was already taking her first step out. “Hey, Adora. Do you have anything around here I can use to keep my face free of hair?” Catra asked, popping the dresser open and properly looking through for something this time.

 

Still laying on a giant puffy purple ottoman, hands together under her neck, Adora watched her from her mostly upside down view. “You don’t have your faceplate?”

 

Scoffing casually, despite flinching at the mention, Catra pulled out another gold-colored shirt and tossed it behind herself. “Didn’t see the point in wearing armor to a defection. Besides, obviously if I kept it, it wouldn’t be for long anyway.”

 

“Ah. Okay, so you left it for sentimental reasons. Gotcha.” Adora pulled herself forward and upright with a huff. She didn’t respond to Catra’s sound of denial and kept her gaze out the window.

 

It was barely a couple of minutes before there was a clawed hand tapping Adora’s shoulder. Looking up, she spared a quick glance to the new clothes. Kept the vest, which she silently thought was cute that Catra already had an attachment to something. Another pair of blue leggings with claw holes. Just how many were actually  _ in _ that bottomless pit? Leave it up to Catra to find stuff like that. However, the strange thing was the loose sleeved shirt- granted the sleeves were rolled up. Adora rose to her feet.

 

“Interesting pick.”

 

Rolling her eyes, she gave her an unamused look. “Not exactly a lot in there that I can tolerate. Still didn’t answer my question.”

 

Adora took a real moment to think about it, but after a few seconds gave her an expressional apology. “I don’t think so. I can ask somebody to make you a new one.”

 

Sighing, Catra just turned and walked a couple feet away. She was heading to the door into the halls but stopped. Adora raised a brow and had only just started making her way over too, but also stopped when she spoke. “Hey, Adora…” Another dramatic trail-off,  _ lovely _ . 

 

Just before she could say what she wanted to say, a bright silhouette of purple appeared between the two of them and only a second later, Glimmer and Bow emerged from it. “Mom told us where Entrapta and Scorpia are!” she said, excitedly.

 

Whipping around, Catra leveled a shocked look with Adora, who looked back over the two of them to meet the gaze. Did the universe happen to have a sense of dramatic irony?

 

Noticing that Adora was, in fact, not looking at them, the two friends turned their heads around to see Catra.

 

For Glimmer, it was just instinctive to tense up, simultaneously fearful and ready to fight to defend herself. Bow was kind of surprised himself.

 

Before anything could get weird or anxious, Adora cut right through the silence. “Where are they, Glimmer?” Everyone went back to looking up at her.

 

“Uh, they’re together in the other residential wing. Under guard by Commander something-something, I had already teleported away,” she answered, her previous excitement barely present.

 

The mentioning of a Commander made Catra narrow her eyes dangerously, but she wasn’t given any real opportunity to start theorizing and working herself into a thousand angry knots about it. Adora beamed a smile that, while happy and enthusiastic, held a hint of worry. “Great, no time to lose!”

 

With Adora’s prompting, they all passed by Catra to the door. She was ready to feel outcasted and overlooked, but found herself derailed when her hand was grabbed by a stronger one and was almost dragged along.

 

The look in Adora’s eyes and the smile on her face held a promise.

* * *

 

Pacing back and forth, rambling about all kinds of possible things that could either have already happened or are currently happening to Catra was an incredibly anxious and worrying Scorpia.

 

“OR! Or what if they’re planning on putting her  _ on a boat?! _ ” Scorpia gasped in genuine horror. “Catra  _ hates _ boats!”

 

Raising her head from her current work-in-progress robot aid with all sorts of scrap metals and wires cluttering basically every square inch within a 10 foot radius, Entrapta momentarily turned off her dangerous work tools and lifted her faceguard to look over at her.

 

There was a touch of irritation in both her expression and in her tone. Only a touch. “I am almost absolutely certain that nobody has any intention of putting Catra on a boat, or anything else you are currently worrying about. It would be very incredibly stupid to do anything to her until a trial, in which Adora will be in attendance.”

 

Stopping in her tracks and paying undivided attention to her friend, Scorpia almost immediately calmed down, wiping a bit of sweat from her forehead. “Oh, that’s good. Phew! What a relief. When do you think visiting hours are?”

 

Glancing out of the window to gauge the position of the sun, Entrapta was quick to answer. “Considering what I know of Adora, and I would say I know her fairly well from first and secondhand accounts, there probably won’t  _ be _ a trial to attend. Catra is probably with her as we speak. Queen Angella is a smart woman and wouldn’t dare incur the wrath of She-Ra.” Her voice was confident in a ‘matter-of-fact’ way.

 

Satisfied with her explanation, seeing as Scorpia calmed down even further, Entrapta let out a heavy sigh and went back to work, muttering things only she would really understand under her breath. Though, she acknowledged the gratitude in being given hope about the well-being of Catra from their mutual friend.

 

With her thoughts no longer occupied with her endless fears and concerns, Scorpia walked closer to the hardworking princess, keeping the previously setup minimal work-space boundary. “So, what are you gonna do when we’re allowed to leave the room?” she asked.

 

Best way to improve Entrapta’s mood: ask her about her work. Perking up, she pulled herself out of the belly of her half-finished robot again to look over at her. “Well first I will need to secure a reliable source of construction parts for my own exclusive use. I  _ would _ like to be able to immediately continue my research and development on how we can use First One’s tech in the present, but the likelihood of that happening without no longer being suspect of still being aligned with the Horde is abysmal. Unfortunate, truly, but in the meanwhile I believe that during my work in providing similar defensive upgrades to the other kingdoms that I had applied to my own may yield unexpected discoveries within the sphere of how everyone else’s differs from my own. Compare and contrast.”

 

Pausing, she ceased her rambling and gestures to refocus on Scorpia, who held a steady gaze and smile. She knew inherently that talking about her work to most people would be effort in vain, but even though she and Catra didn’t understand everything on the same level she did, they still asked and listened. So she was more than happy to translate after her ranting. “In short, I needs parts to make stuff and I will use said ‘stuff’ to make everyone safer from the Horde.”

 

“Oh! That’s  _ such _ a good idea. I bet they’ll let you do a lot more if you do that! You have a lot of good ideas,” Scorpia said in praise.

 

Smiling back, Entrapta continued. “That’s the goal, yes. The loss of access to the surplus that the Horde provided is a tragedy, but I think that, in the end, I am much safer to collect First One’s tech here and research it. All the Horde cared about was ‘weapons this’ and ‘destroy that’ and it was quickly stale. There’s so much more that I can use that power to create. Having that freedom would be, aahh,” she sighed dreamily. “A wish come true. But! I am not there yet, and I must make do with what I have, the knowledge that this restrictive atmosphere will not last too long pushing me ever forward. I’ve already made great use of the note-taking I was provided for future ideas to be brought to life.”

 

A short pause before she followed up a summary, “I’d like to be able to use First One’s tech for more than weaponry. I have a lot of ideas for it, but I think I have enough right now to power on until then. Back to work!”

 

Flipping her faceguard back down, she went back inside the robot and continued construction, leaving Scorpia on her own again. With only one other person in the room, it was clear who the next target of conversation was. The guard.

 

However, before Scorpia was able to cross the room to start up one, the large door flew open with a resounding smack against it. Everybody jumped from it— Scorpia, the guard, and unfortunately Entrapta too, making her hit her head against the upper ‘torso’ of her robot. Holding the top of her head, she rolled backwards with a long and pained groan.

 

The first person to walk into the room was none other than the door kicker, Glimmer. “FOUND THEM!” she shouted, teleporting on sight after spotting her ‘long-lost’ friend to said friend. However, once she was next to Entrapta, she realized that she seemed to be in pain, and she promptly switched to apologetic concern. “Oh, crap! I’m so so sorry Entrapta! Are you okay?”

 

This time, the inventor just peeled the metallic faceguard off and set it aside, seeing as she was going to have to put her work on pause. “For the most part. Hi Glimmer.” Even though she expected it, Entrapta was still pulled into an embrace that startled her. It didn’t matter all that much, though, because it was good to know that she was deeply missed. Of course, she also felt Bow’s embrace a moment after.

 

On the other end of the room, the second that all four had entered, there was a huge gasp and a loud cry of relief, “CATRA!” Running straight past Adora, who spun in place, Scorpia charged towards her missing friend and with near bone-breaking tightness, plucked Catra from the ground and squeezed her tightly. 

 

Choking out her response, Catra groaned, “N-not… so… tight…” 

 

Loosening her hold enough to let the poor woman breathe, Scorpia still held her close. And was also crying in her happiness. “I thought they were doing so many bad things to you! After that mean armored lady dragged you off, I thought we might never see you again! I was so scared! But you’re okay!”

 

Much to the surprise of Adora, even if she was half expecting it herself, instead of pushing against the affection and trying to escape, Catra reciprocated the embrace.

 

That was probably what she wanted to say earlier; if they could find her friends. Adora wondered if not having to actually ask made it easier for her. In any case, the whole situation made her smile.

 

Then she found herself lifted off the ground in a crushing embrace of her own, yanked right out of her thoughts. “And Adora!” Scorpia said, “Thank you! For letting us stay here! And for keeping Catra safe!”

 

It was a bit difficult to laugh with the air being squeezed from her lungs, but she was set back down before she could voice her needs. She smiled up at her after taking in a breath. “Yeah, of course. Part of the job description, right?”

 

Adora chose to ignore how Glimmer had jumped up when she saw her be grabbed, but while most of them were focused on the short moment the two largest women had just shared, Catra had snuck off around them to have her own with Entrapta. A soft, comforting embrace— one that easily translated emotion between them.

 

Bow and Glimmer didn’t see it before it was over, but Adora and Scorpia had. Sweet smiles grew on both their faces.

 

Now that they were all there and had their heartfelt exchanges with each other, attention kind of naturally drifted to Adora. There was a lot on the agenda to get through in regards to the defection as a whole. As the instigator for it all, it was her who needed to get them to the next step.

 

“So, I’m really glad that you guys decided to defect. Things will improve even more within the Princess Alliance and the Rebellion now that we have you to help us.” Shifting her focus to the newer two princess additions, “I don’t know what the Queen has ordered for you two, so if you could…?”

 

The two of them shared a glance with each other, then Catra. Entrapta chose to answer. “Well, to put things simply, I got a better deal than Scorpia. I can be an official member again, but I’ve been told that it would be immensely in my favor if I worked to make amends with the other princesses. Which I plan to do by using what I’ve learned while with the Horde to upgrade kingdom defenses, among other things. I’ve been promised increasingly freer range to pursue and utilize my research, if I comply.”

 

Pointing over to Scorpia, “Even though it’s worse than mine, hers isn’t all too bad. She has to remain under guard until she can be trusted by the Rebellion, but is mostly free to help however she thinks she can. If she accomplishes both of these things, she may be allowed to become an official member of the Princess Alliance.”

 

At the end, Scorpia squee’d. “I’m so excited! I mean I’ve always been kind of un-liked even before the Horde came, but I have friends already this time, so that’s good. I have hope things will be better here, especially if I help the military campaign with detailed knowledge of the Horde system.” It was hard for really any of them by this point to not be warmed by how genuine she is. She just sounded so happy to be here.

 

Though, it was cut through with the next question, asked by Scorpia herself. “What about Catra?”

 

Having all eyes suddenly fall onto Catra made her instantly start to close off and collapse into herself. The silence hung there for a moment as the pressure started to make her crack, but it didn’t really matter.

 

Coming from behind them was a woman’s rough and imposing voice. A familiar one. “ _ Former _ Force Captain Catra has been deemed a high-priority watch target by Queen Angella, not to leave the company of She-Ra the Princess of Power, the Queen herself, or a high commanding officer with explicit authorization,” she said as she stepped through the door in her full suit of armor, helmet under her arm. The way she stressed the word ‘former’ had blatant implication of her doubt and suspicion. “Prohibited from access to any high-stakes missions and from being alone with either Princesses Entrapta or Scorpia.” There was an aggressive glance in Catra’s direction, prompting a small smirk on the officer’s lips. “If I was told correctly, the exact words were, ‘know that the noose is tighter around  _ her _ neck than the others.”

 

Catra clenched her fists together so hard that there was silent concern among the others that they’ll see blood momentarily. Watching her scowl deepen with a high concentration of venom and her tail start whipping back and forth, Adora knew she needed to step in. Having this woman walk in here and talk like that didn’t sit well with even Bow and Glimmer.

 

Physically taking a few steps to be part way between the veteran and Catra, Adora held a steady and equally authoritative gaze. “And who might you be? Give me your name.”

 

The smirk had dropped when Adora moved and her face fell into hardened neutrality. “Commander Aurelia, 4th Division of the Bright Moon army,” she answered, rather dully, as if she was talking about bread.

 

“Well, Commander Aurelia, 4th Division of the Bright Moon army, if you’re so savvy to what the walls have to say, maybe you should reconsider how you want to talk from now on,” Adora said, laying the threat beneath the surface. “I’m very familiar with the language.”

 

While the others weren’t really sure what she was implying, Catra looked a little dumbfounded with the counter aggression from Adora. The sound of jaws breaking playing clearly in her head, almost as if she was hearing it a true second time.  _ Has Adora always been so… dominating? _

 

Aurelia didn’t seem to be too pleased with the warrior’s words. While she definitely expressed annoyance, there was also something else that couldn’t really be placed. Until she spoke. “This is my home. I’ve given everything imaginable for it. You’re held in high esteem by most of the army, She-Ra, for your great contributions to the war effort. Just because you’re here, though, doesn’t mean I still won’t do what needs to be done to protect Bright Moon, and the innocent.  _ Anything _ ,” she emphasized.

 

“I’d  _ appreciate _ being called by my actual name, if my praises are so frequently sung,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Is there a reason you’re here, Commander? I don’t think there’s much of a need.”

 

“The Queen thinks differently. I’ve been ordered to… help you, with the defectors.”

 

“You mean my friends?” Adora bit.

 

“I know what I said,” the Commander replied with a sense of disinterest. Adora willed her eye to not twitch with the pang of hard irritation.

 

Now most of everyone was starting to simmer with a mutual distaste for the officer. When their eyes met, Catra re-hardened her scowl. They found themselves mirroring one another. Just before Adora could continue, someone else made a move.

 

Teleporting from the group huddle to the vacant space between Aurelia and Adora, Glimmer leveled her own angry look with the woman. “I don’t know who you think you are, talking to my best friend like that, but I suggest that you start showing a little more respect and showing it real quick. How about you go back to my mom and tell her to have you do something more useful— which is anything else. We  _ do not _ need a glorified babysitter.”

 

The Commander scrunched her face up in agitation, and everybody knew exactly what she  _ wanted _ to say, but wouldn’t, for obvious reasons. She opened her mouth to say something at all, but she didn’t get the chance. “I don’t think I asked you a question. That was an order, I outrank you. Go.” Glimmer pointed to the door and stood her ground until the older woman resigned and left without another word, deciding against arguing with the feisty teenager.

 

The door clicked shut, and Glimmer sighed out all of that bravery and initiative in a heavy breath of relief, bringing a hand to her head as she slouched.

 

Before she could fully recover from the fluctuating stress, she found herself being hugged by Adora. “That was amazing, Glimmer!” She was visibly beaming when she pulled away. “Thank you. A lot. You didn’t have to do that.”

 

That smile gave her a weird feeling, but she shook it off in favor of smiling back. “Yeah I did, actually. Nobody gets to talk to my friends that way. Princess perks.”

 

Entering the scene to join the praise train, Bow hooked both of them with his arms. “You were both super cool and impressive! You guys showed her who's boss!”

 

“Group hug! Yay!” All three of them were suddenly pressed together and against Scorpia. Things lightened up a great deal, all of them laughing. Well… all but one.

 

Looking back, Catra seemed to be just as relieved, if a bit in a foul mood now. There was more to it, though. It was in her eyes. An unnerving and concerning feeling came from that look, but her head turned away before Adora could place it.

 

It made the small victory a little more shallow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention last chapter that there was a Hardstop Lucas reference, because I believe I'm honestly fucking hilarious. There's another one in this chapter.
> 
> Honeymoon period is over, we're entering seed and plot territory. There's a lot I want to cover and I'm doing my best to only give hints through the actual storytelling. It's harder than I thought it'd be to keep it all to myself for stronger punches. This past week has been a little rough for me, and I've made essentially no progress on the chapter I'm currently writing. This week will hopefully and probably be a better week— everyone in my house needs their darn tax returns to come in! 
> 
> With the introduction of Commander Aurelia, the first of the necessary OCs I had to create and include to fill certain roles, there's going to be a few new recurring names popping up. Just a few, that I know of myself. Believe me when I say that there's basically no one from the original 80s cast that I could dust and shine. However, I don't have any plans for them to take the spotlight away from the main cast. Not only do I feel like it'd be annoying, but it would also be a detriment to my story to do so.
> 
> But that's it for this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it, I'm excited to read your comments and I'll bring y'all chapter 5 next Sunday! Thank you for reading!


	5. Know the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big news are out there to everyone. Glimmer and Bow were promised the opportunity to speak with the defecting 3 by Adora, and the four of them found Scorpia and Entrapta— who both had worried for Catra's safety and were quite relieved to see she was fine. Now it's time for the 6 of them to sit together and begin the recovery process. Hopefully, everything will go right.
> 
> Warnings/Heads-up: Some Dark Shit™ but not too strong. Not yet.

**** Commander Aurelia didn’t come back after being told off, which was fine by them. There was a collective dislike for the woman, if for slightly varying reasons.

 

The 6 of them sat down a few minutes later in a loose circle after the guards had been ‘relieved.’ It was time to clear the air, if a little bit. They had to create a foundation between each other if this was going to work and if any other friendships would grow.

 

It was a little bit harder for the defecting 3, seeing as there was a lot being leveled against them for their parts on the other side of the war, rather than there being mutual damage done on more personal levels.

 

Catra in particular was the perpetrator of most of it. Just because she knew it and accepted it didn’t mean it wouldn’t be difficult to sit through a list of her sins. The setting was pretty awkward as they all got situated and sat without much of a word. This could really quickly get out of hand, especially starting with letting people get into their emotions right from the get-go.

 

So, Adora handled things a different way, to start. “So... I don’t think we really need to rehash everything that everyone has done. Judgments have already been determined, reparations will be made, and it’ll take time.” Looking to Bow and Glimmer, there was a lot of dialogue passing between them through eyes and expression. They were concerned, probably even a bit frightened by the possibilities of this going wrong. All of them were characters of outstanding reputation, but Adora pleaded for their trust. Everyone’s trust. Just enough of it so she can carry all of them along this bumpy beginning.

 

“You have my word that this is genuine. I know what the Horde is like. By coming here, by defecting, they have the Black Mark. Kill on sight. No one comes back from a Black Mark. Their faces are plastered all over the Fright Zone and there’s even rewards for… evidence.” Adora grimaced at the thought, glancing to Catra who shared a similar sentiment.

 

Knowing what question was already lined up on Glimmer’s lips, Adora beat her to the punch. “Hordak wouldn’t have employed them as double agents, either. The very things that’d make them candidates for missions like that are the same reasons he wouldn’t be able to trust their intentions and loyalties. The risk-reward ratio is too far out of his favor and Hordak does  _ not  _ play well with uncertainties. It’s why he has such an expansive spy network, even if it’s the Horde he’s spying on. Secrets are never kept for long. I really have considered everything, long before I ever offered to let them defect.”

 

Narrowing her eyes some, Glimmer held a somewhat suspicious look. “I can understand the danger behind it, but what I don’t understand is  _ why? _ ” The look was now leveled with mostly Catra. “Why defect now? Why defect at all? You seemed content trying to kill all of us and destroy the planet. We're all lucky that whatever you did to mess everything up during your attack on Bright Moon blew up in your face before it blew up the rest of us! What changed, huh?” The sudden bite made Adora flinch, but she knew just how angry Glimmer could get. "Why did you leave the Horde, after everything?"

 

Things were chokingly tense very quickly after she said that, and only got worse as the silence dragged on. Everyone felt on edge, glancing between one another as the two of them held steady eye contact. A hard question to answer, to be sure, but one admittedly with merit. Eventually, a low voice broke it. “Cause I was wrong. That what you want to hear? I was wrong, and selfish, and blind,” Catra said. It was in her eyes again. "I fucked up. Over and over. I've got a nasty habit of doing that and I denied having it, so I kept fucking up. Then I couldn't play pretend anymore, cue series of treasonous events, now I'm here."

 

Surprised, Glimmer pulled back and her anger seemed to drop from her face, like she had been expecting Catra to fight back instead of basically confessing. It left her without any kind of real response, so she ended up sitting there gawking for a moment.

 

“I was the only thing keeping Entrapta and Scorpia there, so when I wanted to leave, they were more than happy to follow. It was never about conquering the world and killing everybody. It was about me. And I guess I hated being the villain. That’s why. That's why I defected. That's why I  _finally_ left the Horde, even after everything I knew they were doing. Satisfied?” In her voice wasn’t venom, not exactly. It was pained, hurt and anger, guilt and resentment. 

 

It was half expected that Catra would swat away Scorpia’s attempt of affection after that outburst, rubbing her back gently. She didn’t. She also didn’t meet anybody’s eyes, closing them and crossing her arms, locking up and shutting herself off. Adora could imagine what she was feeling.

 

Then somebody else said something. “We were equal participants and equally at fault, as much as Catra likes to think otherwise. We were happy enough setting aside any moral conflictions for our own progress. The Horde was a means to an end,” Entrapta said. “Except by doing that, the ‘end’ turned out to be a ‘dead end.’ Two very different things. All three of us put ourselves first and all three of us came to the conclusion that we were playing the wrong game on the wrong side.”

 

Bow pointed to Scorpia, who sat between her two friends. “Okay so, pause and rewind real quick, sorry, but then what exactly was Scorpia’s reason for staying with the Horde?”

 

Perking up, Scorpia seemed excited to be asked a question. “Oh! That one’s easy. My friends were there, so I wanted to stay. I didn’t  _ really _ want to stay with the Horde but I didn’t really have anywhere else to go anyway, so… Friendship!”

 

Leaning over, Bow whispered to Glimmer. “I like her already.”

 

“Anyway, Catra thinks she’s protecting us by talking all the blame, but she hasn’t realized quite yet that she doesn’t have to. Especially not anymore,” the tech princess finished, having a smile ready for when Catra looked over with a disbelieving expression, and a faint bit of red. “Yeah, you aren’t as slick as you like to think you are. Nice try though.”

 

Catra gave a broken sigh, emotional tension leaving her body like a weight off her shoulders. When she awkwardly eased into soft laughter, her two princess friends joined in. The moment was short, but it meant everything.

 

The other 3 couldn’t help but smile with them.

 

In fact, Adora had a wide mischievous grin of her own, which to everyone but Catra looked jarring. It fit with the sudden shift in mood. “Oh? Did I hear that right?”

 

A flush of red started appearing on Catra’s face far more quickly than before as the princess was leveled a warning glare. The message was clear:  _ Don’t you dare. _

 

Which only made her grin wider. “Entrapta’s right, you’re not as slick and aloof as you like to think you are. Big softie.”

 

Huffing, Catra growled out, “Laugh it up while you can, Adora. Now that I’m here, you won’t get away with nearly as much as you have been.” They shared a competitive look.

 

So ensued the planting of the seed of friendship amongst them.

 

* * *

 

Fingers drummed against the armrest of the throne heavily, impatiently. No other signs of his thoughts and emotions were showing through his stoic demeanor. Empty red eyes seemed to stare right through the kneeling blue woman.

 

“Effective immediately, you are to take over the vacant position left behind by Black Mark defector Catra as one of my immediate lieutenants under the rank of Force Commander. Your first mission is to begin an assault campaign against the kingdom of Dryl, after thorough reconnaissance and locating the precise whereabouts of Princess Entrapta. You are authorized to requisition whoever and whatever you deem necessary in pursuing this campaign. In the instance you manage to corner the princess, capture if you can but should she prove to be more of a hindrance, kill her.” Hordak spoke with a low voice, just above a growl, and his fingers continued to drill the tips into his seat.

 

Raising her head, Octavia looked up at her leader. “I will not fail you, Lord Hordak. Not like you’ve been failed by the weaklings before me.”

 

“Acknowledgement of past disappointments is only marginally better than claiming to be superior and missing the mark. However, you’ve shown initiative and ambition stepping forward to fill the power vacuum, reinstating order in the ranks,” he said, his voice holding no sign of praise even as it left his lips. “I’m assigning you an executive officer of my choosing to serve as my representative in secret. He has something special for you in your endeavor to seize control of Dryl— something that, if used strategically, will remove much that would stand in your way.”

 

Pushing herself off the ground and to her feet, the newly promoted Force Commander saluted and held the position. “We will have Dryl before year’s end, my Lord. I will not rest until it is.”

 

Silence filled the room for a few moments. “There is one more thing. In regards to Black Mark defectors Catra and Scorpia… I doubt you will encounter them in the field for some time, if at all, so I’ve one more tool to give you. Use it wisely, and there may be no reinforcements coming to Dryl’s aid. Expect them soon. I’ll be in touch. Dismissed, Commander.”

 

With a disinterested gesture, Octavia was essentially shooed from the room. However, the gravity of the situation was not lost on either of them. She knew very well that she could be put through the grinder before she could blink if she became the next link in the chain to fail Hordak. 

 

That was a fate she was determined to avoid.

 

Now possessing the power she’s worked so hard to obtain, finishing her advanced training regime, somebody  _ qualified _ is now at the seat of command. Incompetent children will no longer be tolerated, not by her and not by Hordak.

 

When dawn broke, she and her new army marched.

* * *

 

Crashing face first into the comfort of the bed with a prolonged groan, Catra had made a B-line to the closest place to flop onto and not move a single muscle.

 

Which got a small laugh from Adora. “Oh, come on, it wasn’t  _ that _ bad. I actually think today has been incredibly productive. The Queen didn’t even threaten you with anything!”

 

There was a response, but it was way too muffled by the bed to be any kind of coherent. “Catra, can you try that again, but this time in a way I can understand?”

 

Huffing, she flipped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling with furrowed brows. “Her definition of ‘community service’ sucks, but as long as Commander Conceited is far far away from me...” Catra’s face twisted into a hard scowl at the mention.

 

Sitting next to her, Adora let out a strained chuckle. “No kidding. The  _ nerve _ of that woman. I saw the smug look on her face when Glimmer was getting chewed out. Fuckin’ bitch…” She muttered the last part.

 

Catra looked over. “I think I didn’t give your friends enough credit. The short one’s got more game than I imagined. And Crop Top really hit it off with Scorpia, didn’t he?”

 

Laying back, Adora mirrored her friend’s position on the bed and stared up at the ceiling with her. “Yeah, he did. Bow’s all about the benefit of the doubt and redemption. I think he has his reservations still, but he wants you guys to have a chance here.” A softer sigh, this time. “It means so much to me that you’re trying so hard. I know something’s been bothering you all day…” Turning onto her side and perching herself onto her elbow, Adora wore a warm smile, but her eyes betrayed her concern. “I think I know what, too.”

 

It didn’t go past her that Catra immediately tensed and started to lock up emotionally, but she let her take her time to engage. They  _ had _ time, now.

 

Clenching her fists before crossing her arms, Catra turned her head the other way. “...I… I don’t want to talk about it. Not right now.”

 

There was disappointment in her not opening up. Maintaining the balance between personal processing and bottling things up was difficult, especially for Catra. The fact that she didn’t say ‘I’m fine’ though was telling. Adora didn’t push further, but did give a nudge. “Will you talk about it another time?”

 

Barely moving, there was another stretch of silence. “...Yeah. Can we change the topic?” she asked, voice small.

 

The question made Adora smile, despite it all. “Of course...We can spend some more time with Entrapta before she heads to the other kingdoms tomorrow. I can ask Glimmer and Bow to let you have the time to yourself, if that’s something you want.”

 

A hand came up to scratch at some place in her hair as she simply sighed. “...I would, yeah. Thanks.”

 

Even though she was making an effort to get in some kind of additional bonding time, the mood kept dropping. Maybe Catra was just at peak capacity, even with the sun just barely peeking out over the horizon, darkness ascending. Not quite bedtime, but close enough it seems.

 

Resigning for the day, Adora pushed herself off the bed and began her winding down routine. “Pick anywhere you want to sleep, if you’re tired. We don’t have to have some kind of moment every night until we’re… okay again. There’s no reason we can’t just  _ be _ .”

 

There wasn’t a reply to that, but there was shuffling after a few minutes. One trip to the bathroom with a change of clothes to pajamas later, Adora found Catra at the foot of the decorated bed with a blanket and was curled around herself.

 

The sight was painfully familiar and warming. Adora didn’t disturb her, eventually ending the night an hour and a half into the darkness with a couple of chapters of her book about the history of Bright Moon. Technically the 13th book on the subject of kingdom histories, and the 6th on the one she now inhabits, specifically.

 

Crawling into bed after putting out the final light source wasn’t an immensely difficult task, though she went about it a little slower than normal on account of not wanting to wake her light sleeping friend. Regardless where on the bed Catra was specifically, it was incredibly encouraging to know that Catra wasn’t picking the chair. Knowing that she was comfortable…

 

That meant everything to Adora.

 

* * *

 

_ The Black Garnet glowed dimly with its red-tinted energy, humming lowly with life. It’s almost like a song, and not a particularly lighthearted one. Ominous was a better description. A slow beat, like a heart. _

 

_ Catra was tempted to touch it, to see if she could feel the magic inside it. Something else told her that bad things would happen if she did that. A little nagging voice, without words and lost in the dark, whispering warnings of doom swiftly approaching. _

 

_ Even though she was alone… right? _

 

_ Something was reaching out to her, pulling her away from the dark sound and closer to its rising melody. Just a little faster. Power’s lulling seduction, encouraging her to come closer. A single finger, press a single finger against the gem’s surface. It would feel so satisfying to know what its magic felt like. Nobody would know if she only did it once. Her own little secret. Simply satiating curiosity. No harm could reasonably come from that. _

 

_ Scary how the lies felt so much like the truth. _

 

_ Before she realized she was falling victim to it, unable to hear the darkness’ attempts to pull her back to safety, a finger was touching the Black Garnet, and lightning shot out from it at the point of contact. _

 

_ What she felt wasn’t magic, it was electrocution, burning her entire hand numb. Sound was devoured by an unseen void, until the air filled with a chillingly familiar and terrifying screech of rage. _

 

_ From deep within the runestone, a blackness began seeping outwards, consuming the red of the Black Garnet until not a hint of color was visible from within it. Shadows from the darkest corners of the room were crawling along the walls and floors, eating the light and leaving Catra suspended in darkness. _

 

_ “YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING!” came Shadow Weaver’s scratching scream as she flew out of the runestone at her in a jump scare. Collapsing into herself in an effort to avoid being slammed by the witch, all she did was trade one problem for another. Whatever floor she had felt under her crumbled like rubble and she plummeted into nothingness. _

 

_ Until she found herself on her feet again and a new scene appeared before her in a digitally generated manner, revealing the First One’s temple, the one in the Whispering Woods. So bright everything was, Catra tried to shield her eyes but it felt like it didn’t matter— she still saw it blinding her through her own body. Standing there until she adjusted, there was only silence. _

 

_ Then there wasn’t. Echoing down the halls… something sharp, scraping against the metal, like it was slicing. To her dreadful realization, it was coming closer. Emerging once more from the unknown was the darkness’ whispers, telling her again that doom was swiftly approaching, and that she needed to run. _

 

_ Now. _

 

_ So she did. Catra turned around and bolted in the other direction as fast as she could. Where there should’ve been some level of confidence that she could outrun most anything that could fit in such an enclosed space, she only felt mounting terror. _

 

_ Because whatever it was, somehow it was getting  _ closer. _ Didn’t matter how many halls she turned down, how many open rooms she cleared, or how many vertical passages she spotted and made use of, cause it started to sound like it was one turn away from pinning her. _

 

_ To her absolute devastation, she made the mistake of looking over her shoulder to see if whatever was chasing her had caught up, and looked back to find herself suddenly in a dead end, in front of a large mirror. _

 

_ It felt surreal to see her reflection, and in the back of her mind there was a lot wrong with what she saw, but it was hard to hold a thought and try to determine what was so off about it. The one thing she kept coming back to was her own expression. _

 

_ She’s never seen somebody look so scared. _

 

_ Then a blinding white light entered the hall, stabbing right into her eyes and even as they shut, pressing her hands over them and faced the ground, it stung and there was only white. However, this time it was only for a moment. Though when she looked up at the mirror again, she wished that the white hadn’t gone away. _

 

_ Those whispers were now sitting right behind her ears, only marginally louder in volume. It was then that she realized they were in her own voice, her own thoughts. Telling her the obvious and the not-so-obvious. Doom, have to run, but also that there was still more. She wasn’t done yet. Done with what? It went on urgently about having to find the tree, solve the puzzle, obtain the heart.  _

 

_ Having lost herself in confusion with the darkness creeping up her body, devouring the light once again, she only focused on the reflection of She-Ra in the mirror as the sword came swinging down. _

 

_ Instead of blood and death, the sound of glass shattering rung out and shook the very fabric of reality. Catra’s skin was on fire and the world morphed painfully as the darkness wiped the slate clean a second time. _

 

_ The pain vanished moments later with Catra shooting up from the bed in Bright Moon Castle in a cold sweat. Looking out the window, she saw that it was night and the moons were high and bright. Passively, there was the thought about that probably being the inspiration for the name. Catra hunched over, face in her hands and shuddered heavily, getting the lingering terror out of her system. “Just a bad dream,” she told herself. _

 

_ Then she realized that she was alone in the room. That… didn’t feel right, but for the life of her Catra couldn’t remember why. _

 

_ Maybe Adora will know, if she can find her. _

 

_ Crawling out of bed and standing on her feet, her legs felt weak but she managed to stay upright and make them work enough to carry her to the door and out into the halls. _

 

_ Barely lit, tiny lights along the path, and not a guard in sight. That didn’t feel right either. Wouldn’t… Catra put a hand against her head, a small and sharp pain striking her just as she tried to put more effort into concentrating on that detail. Quickly, she determined that it wasn’t worth it and continued slowly down the halls. _

 

_ Things weren’t so silent, but what she heard wasn’t something she should be hearing here of all places. It didn’t come from anywhere specific and more from all around her… it was something like a heartbeat. Looking up, the ceiling seemed obscenely higher up than it should’ve been. Branches were poking out from the walls and fluffed with leaves. It was too dark to see the middle and where the walls gave way to let that happen. Light seemed to be shining on top of the leaves, but none of it was getting through to her level. _

 

_ That feeling of wrongness only got worse with each step, and her own voice whispered into her ears, “You must find the tree. It’s the key. Beware the darkness, doom is swiftly approaching. Find the tree.” _

 

_ It made no sense and each time it was repeated to her, the halls got a little bit darker. Fear started creeping up her body again and she picked up the pace, like she had a time limit now. The heartbeat got louder, deeper. _

 

_ Blurry faces started looking at her from the shadows above her. Faces she didn’t recognize and with barely any details. Just glowing blue eyes and vague head shapes. Muttering and whispering about the tree, and more disconcertingly, repeating practically every impactful thing she’s ever told herself, good and bad.  _

 

_ The truths and the lies about herself, her life, her situation, her relationships. The voices overlap and she can barely understand them at all, but still she knows exactly what they’re saying. _

 

_ It’s hard to hear, and impossible to think. _

 

_ Now she’s running, turning endlessly, just as she had in the temple. Running from the voices that didn’t seem to move at all. The exact same scene playing above her no matter where she went, static. Not a single detail of the trees and faces above her changing, even as she moved haphazardly. Like it was following her. _

 

_ Just before Catra was ready to give up and fall into herself, one final turn put her at the end of her path. Down the last hall was a large, darkly colored door, and in front of the door was a person facing it. _

 

_ Slowly, the voices receded into barely audible muttering, not even the volume of crickets. When she thought she should feel relief, all she felt was the temperature start dropping until it chilled her to the bone and brought on goosebumps. Rubbing her arms did little, and just to test, she exhaled with hot breath and  _ saw  _ it. She swallowed hard and walked a few steps closer. _

 

_ It was Adora. _

 

_ “I knew you had been lying.” _

 

_ Catra’s heart dropped into her stomach. “Wh-what—?” _

 

_ “They were right to not trust you. I should’ve listened. Instead, you ended up making me a liar too. A liar to myself,” she said, still facing the door, her voice sharp and remorseless. “It didn’t matter how much I wanted to believe you, deep down, I knew you would betray me. One dagger in my heart wasn’t enough, you had to get in as many as you could, couldn’t you?” _

 

_ The heartbeat got heavier, deeper, faster. It throbbed at the same rhythm her head did. One more whisper in her mind, speaking over all her racing, fading thoughts. “Find the tree.” _

 

_ “So jealous. You couldn’t stand not being the best, unable to see past yourself. It didn’t matter what I felt, because you weren’t on top. That’s why you jumped at the chance to run up the ranks in the Horde, right? Because you’d  _ finally  _ be better than me?” Now she turned around, face obscured by shadow, save for the blue glow of her eyes. “Except, you weren’t. Still in my shadow, no matter what you did. You were willing to destroy the planet with the Black Garnet because of your vindictive envy and it still didn’t matter because in the end, I was better.” _

 

_ Adora took a few steps forward, into the next light, and the look on her face… Might as well just shove her hand into Catra’s chest and tear her heart out directly. Skip all the buildup. Frozen in place, but ready to combust. She knew what she wanted to say— anything she could to convince her that she was wrong. Would it have mattered, though? _

 

_ “Pathetic and disgusting. Not only do I hate myself for having let myself become so delusional, but I hate myself for ever considering you my friend. Tried so hard to make yourself matter, but all you did was destroy any worth you may have had,” she spat, walking a little closer. “My  _ only _ silver lining is the fact there’s one thing I hate more than myself...” Raising her arm and pointing an accusing finger at Catra, it felt like she just got speared through the chest, and her mouth didn’t move to scream. “You.” _

 

_ Hanging her head in defeat, letting her soul slip out with her weakening breaths, Catra dropped to her knees. Not daring to lift her head and meet Adora’s gaze again, she let her eyes unfocus on the floor. That blue glow would haunt her for…  _

 

_ Suddenly flashing in her vision were the vague faces from the trees, with the same exact glowing blue eyes. The ones she can still hear, even now, whispering. Catra’s next inhale was deep, spontaneous, and from the brink of death. Her head snapped up, and she saw Adora’s twisted face and the ones pressing just barely out of the darkness far above them. _

 

_ One and the same. _

 

_ Truths and lies. _

 

_ Adora would not have gone so far for her if she hated her. No, that’s nothing like the Adora she knew. That she grew up with. That she… _

 

_ Rising to her feet, Catra grabbed the fabric of this false Adora with tight fists and leveled her a powerful scowl. In all honesty, she was offended  _ for _ Adora by this apparition of doubt and hatred. Her heart was too big, and she would never say things like that. Not ever.  _ “Now _ you’re a liar, and Adora doesn’t tell lies like that. Meaning you’re not Adora, you’re a cheap imitation. Almost had me too, but ‘almost’ isn’t good enough to take me down. So go tell Shadow Weaver I say hi, and to fucking rot.” _

 

_ Then, with as much strength as she could muster, she tore through ‘Adora’s’ torso and ripped the figure apart, dispersing her into shadows. With only a second to savor her victory, the world collapsed into black one last time. _

 

_ How can you hate something that you truly love? _

__

* * *

 

Jerking awake in a cold sweat and a sharp gasp, Catra grabbed at the fabric of the bed with a death grip and looked around the room frantically. There was a little bit of sunlight peeking over the horizon line, not much to illuminate the room, but more than enough to comfort her.

 

No shadows, no darkness, no impending doom. Just the sunrise.

 

Slowly calming down, Catra felt her breathing even out and she sunk back into the bed. Body relaxing while her consciousness rose, waking her. Glancing over, the  _ real  _ Adora still slept soundly. It was a little surprising she didn’t bolt up the second there was significant movement. They had learned to always keep one eye open when sleeping, forcing them to be light sleepers.

 

Nasty tactic they used to teach them that. If she wasn’t still recovering from her nightmare, she would’ve shivered at the distant memory. Though, she then decided to try to recall as much of the dream as she could. Very few things still remained, and it wasn’t hard for her to understand some of it now that she was allowed to think.

 

Every bad thing she’s ever told herself was summarized by that shadow Adora. Everything she’s devoted the majority of her effort into conquering. The jealousy, the heartbreak, her own sense of self-worth. Catra desperately wanted to be better. She wanted to believe without a doubt that she meant something to people. That Adora doesn’t position herself higher than her and isn’t making an effort to put her down.

 

That Adora didn’t hate her, like she fears.

 

Pushing herself up, Catra carefully climbed off the bed entirely and stretched her body. There was little to gain from circling the same thing in her head if she didn’t attach action to it.

 

It used to be that whenever she had a nightmare about one of her fundamental traumas— which she often left out important details for— that she’d crawl right into Adora’s arms and wish it away, shoving it as far down as humanly possible.

 

Now, Catra didn’t need to be taken care of. It was time for her to prove to herself that she could now stand on her own two feet and make a point to Adora.

 

Starting with reinstating her training regime. Looking around the spacious room, Catra started plotting out just how exactly she’s gonna do it without waking Adora.

 

Then she got to work.

* * *

 

A few hours managed to go by and against all conceivable odds, Adora slept right through it all. Either she quickly settled into being a deep sleeper after shedding some of her Horde conditioning, or Catra was far more quiet than she gave herself credit for. 

 

When Adora finally woke well into the sunrise, she had definitely not expected to see her friend with her mess of hair pulled up— were those  _ her _ hair ties?— and balancing herself on a single foot on a tower of books. Definitely not certified training equipment, but the purpose is obvious.

 

She was about to open her mouth to comment, but noticing the look of absolute concentration on Catra’s face convinced her to remain silent. Her tail moved more than she did, acting as an excellent counterbalance whenever her weight shifted. Every so often, she hopped in place to swap feet.

 

Simultaneously amusing and impressive. Adora wondered if that’s something she could manage even remotely as well as Catra could. Though, the only thing that came to mind was her failing incredibly and lying on top of a pile of fallen books. Glancing over to the normal resting place of the books, it was noticeably empty.

 

Adjusting to a more comfortable upright but reclined position, she watched with interest. It was maybe a few more minutes before she watched Catra jump off with a graceful feline backflip, sighing in exhaustion the second she landed stably. Adora’s clapping audibly startled her, hair standing up and eyes blowing wide. She flinched at the pang of regret that hit her. “Sorry.”

 

It was up for debate whether the red flush on Catra’s face was from the physical exertion or from the minor embarrassment of being caught like that and taken off guard. Not much more attention was given to it as the woman walked over and dropped onto the bed with an exasperated groan.

 

Chuckling softly, Adora made to slide off the bed. “Didn’t think I’d wake up to that, but I’m not all too surprised. How long have you been up?” she asked, walking up to the vanity and pulling her hair free to groom it.

 

“Dunno. Since dawn. Had a bad dream and couldn’t go back to sleep. Decided to be productive,” Catra confessed casually, giving her body a much needed break. She missed the look of disbelief from Adora.

 

“Really? You alright?” she asked, her concern hidden but still heard.

 

“I’m fine, I promise.”

 

“Wanna talk about it?”

 

Catra’s response was surprisingly instantaneous. “Not much to talk about. Only remember glimpses,” she said. It wasn’t exactly the whole truth but not enough to be a lie. All she could recall were fragments of the scenes, but a few things remained clear.

 

Find the tree. Solve the puzzle. Obtain the heart.

 

Whatever the hell that meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I stayed up like an extra hour or something to get this reviewed one last time and posted and my pills want me to KNOCK OUT and I endured this because I'm gonna be busy tomorrow (technically today but I'm a believer of the "its not tomorrow until I go to sleep" philosophy) so this is coming out at like 2 am so I hope y'all woke up excited lmao
> 
> Hope you enjoyed and excited to see your comments!
> 
> (as I tried to sleep sunday night: "I FORGOT THE CHAPTER WARNINGS i guess i'll do it tomorrow zzzzzz")


	6. Isolated, but Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hordak's made a response, unbeknownst to the heroes. New evil plans are in motion and there's no way to know when the war will take its new turn. Things are settling down in Bright Moon, and the creep of the dark side is in motion, whispering the same words over and over in an echo.
> 
> Note: SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING LAST WEEK, I DID IT ON PURPOSE, MORE INFO AT BOTTOM NOTES
> 
> Warnings/Heads-up: Emotions, (technically?) self-harm, symptoms of mental illness

**** Gazing down from the short cliff overlooking the clearing, Octavia watched the soldiers as they packed up the camp and mobilized. Her face was hard, the weight of her mission heavy on her shoulders. The future of the war was in her hands, and everything would fall apart if she failed.

 

So she wouldn’t. She couldn’t.

 

Even though she was heavily lost in thought, the second she felt like someone was approaching, she pulled from her mind and glanced over her shoulder silently. Seeing who it was, she reflexively tensed, though made conscious effort to not appear so.

 

Meeting the officer was a harrowing experience for Octavia. Lt. Cyprian was a completely conditioned Horde soldier. Barely any emotion remained within him, and there was no doubt that he would be the key in her endeavor to turn the tide of the war. First impression told her that she would be worse than a fool to not heed his advice; his intelligence should not be underplayed.

 

There was also no doubt that if she were to displease Hordak in any way and be deemed unsuitable for the position,  _ his _ position by her side would ensure she would not be given the chance to make a second mistake.

 

More than enough incentive to push herself beyond her own limits. She knew that this war would call for it, and wouldn’t have sought out this path if she doubted herself in any way. It was too late to turn back.

 

Dressed in standard Horde uniform and wearing Lieutenant insignia, her ‘executive officer’ walked to her until he stopped directly beside her. “Force Commander Octavia,” came his well manicured tone, only thinly veiling the authoritative touch. They both knew who held the cards. “The army is nearly ready for departure. Lord Hordak’s ‘special gift’ has also arrived. It would be wise to make use of them as soon as possible.”

 

Exhaling slowly instead of huffing, eyes narrowing at the scene below them, she took her time with responding. “I’ll have it done before we march again. Whatever it is, fetch it.”

 

Out of her peripheral, she saw the Lt. make a gesture in a direction she couldn’t see and waited a moment before turning around.

 

There were a great many things she envisioned Hordak sending her for her mission. A wide variety in fact, ranging from weapons, to a task force, to operation intelligence. What she failed to anticipate was a humanoid person completely covered in black from head to toe. Not a single bit of it was armor, and all she could see were their black eyes on dark, greyish skin. It was unsettling to behold and she was naturally suspicious. “Lieutenant, who is this?”

 

“They’re only known as ‘F,’ and their specialty is subterfuge and undercover intelligence, among other things. One of Lord Hordak’s personal tools of war; you can send their eyes, ears and hands wherever you want. He expects you to know what to do,” the XO answered, as if it were common knowledge.

 

It only put her more on edge. Knowledge about spy operations within the Horde was next to nothing to anybody within the standard military path. She’s known only a handful of people who were ‘reassigned’ out of nowhere, and thought nothing of it. It’d make sense to keep it wrapped up, pick potentials from standard ranks and employ them in additional training for the new roles. Potentials that nobody hears from ever again.

 

But here they were. The apparently perfect spy, in the flesh. Evidence of her theory. Recalling Hordak’s orders, she did know  _ exactly _ how she wanted to utilize this special tool.

 

“Listen carefully,  _ ‘F,’ _ for this will only be said once. This is your mission, and failure is not an option.”

 

* * *

 

Breakfast was pretty enjoyable for all parties involved, though it was melancholy despite all efforts. The common thought was to give Entrapta an amicable departure. Thanks to Adora, she’d be able to enjoy some time in relative privacy with Catra and Scorpia. Part of the compromise was that she be present herself instead of a regular guard, which would’ve left Glimmer and Bow displaced for a while, if the Queen hadn’t asked for their attention as they all parted. It felt like everything worked out for it.

 

Still, when they sat together in the room that was soon to be only Scorpia’s, Adora was on the other side, as per her promise the previous night. There was plenty of things she could occupy a couple hours of her time with, and seeing how relaxed and engaged the others were, especially Catra… It was heartwarming to her.

 

Adora put her trust in the right people to give Catra what she couldn’t. Everything within the past few days gave her undoubtable faith in the direction they were all heading. Even when she knew she shouldn’t, she still worried about what will happen whenever she leaves Bright Moon to fight the Horde. What if something horrible happens that she wasn’t there to stop and Catra left?

 

Mentally giving herself a good smack, those over anxious thoughts were put to heel. Catra was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, and she needs to let her. Being overprotective would only have the opposite effect she desired to achieve. Besides… her gut told her that Catra had no intention of leaving, no matter what happens.

 

They were smiling, laughing. Teasing each other, playful shoves and obvious inside jokes. Having casual, friendly conversation. When they began to feel their time run out, though, the mood started to quickly drop to something soft and more intimate.

 

Currently, Entrapta was listing off unacceptable things to do to guards, no matter how much they annoy her. Hard to tell if it was a joke or legitimate, seeing as Catra is just so naturally good at stirring up at least minor drama. However, hearing them brought back many memories she had like it. Catra ‘not doing anything’ then giving a short list of things that she actually did. It felt nostalgic. Like old times.

 

Eventually Catra stopped her with a fake disapproving grumble. “Yeah, yeah, I get it already. Don’t make a mess of things.” They still shared a smile. “You better come back with something cool.”

 

Scoffing dramatically, Entrapta waved her off. “You think I would go somewhere to build things and  _ not _ have something new and unique to show off? It’s like you don’t know me at all.” With a mock gesture, she placed a hand on her chest and looked to have been wounded, head hanging back. They all laughed. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and ‘find’ some First One’s tech to study in my free time. The Queen didn’t  _ specifically _ say I couldn’t use anything I find, just that I can’t go searching for it.”

 

“We’re going to miss you, but we also want you to have fun!” Scorpia said, reaching over and pulling their short friend into a survivable embrace. “Do you know how long you’ll be away?”

 

Shaking her head, Entrapta slipped out of the hug. “Could be several months, depending on what there is to work with, my access to materials and how much needs to actually be done at each kingdom. General estimate, including my current capabilities and travel times between them all. Throughout the process I’ll also have to test the mechanisms, ensure the coding and AI are functioning and calibrated properly.” She sighed softly. “I’ll try to visit between long gaps of time, but I can’t make any promises.”

 

“Do you know what you’re gonna do if the Horde attacks where you are?” Catra asked, and a thick tension quickly settling on them as the silence grew.

 

But only for a few moments. “I’ll probably have multiple robot aids helping me already anyway, and I’ve already put combat protocols in the blueprints and a skeleton program is in the current coding. Combine that with the escort of guards I’ll have, I think I’ll be okay. Besides,” Entrapta paused to glance over at Adora. “If I need help, I can call for She-Ra.”

 

Then the other two glanced over, meeting Adora’s attentive smile, having looked over at the mention of her alter ego. They didn’t exchange any dialogue— didn’t need to. Of course Adora would be the first one out the door in a rescue mission.

 

Alas, time finally ran out. There was a knock on the door, out of politeness, and in walked Bow and Glimmer. The latter spoke, “It’s time to go. Mom’s got a mission for us.”

 

“Catra and Scorpia have to come, too. The Queen also has something for them to do,” Bow added.

 

All rising, after a bit of mild muttering there was a collective decision to get the parting hugs in, in case Queen Angella wouldn’t let them in the throne room. The walk there was fairly solemn and completely quiet save for the small group of guards walking behind them with their metal boots clinking against the floor. None of them were quite ready to say goodbye.

 

Soon enough, the 6 of them were in the throne room, faced with the Queen of Bright Moon. Standing off to the side was Commander Aurelia, who steadfastly made eye contact with any who looked over in a silent intimidation contest. Other than that, she was neutral presenting, same as the Queen herself. A few other guards lined the curved walls and a pair stood at the doorway.

 

“I have 3 missions to present to the 6 of you. I will begin with our two newcomers,” she said, leveling her coldly stoic gaze at Catra and Scorpia. “As part of your defection terms, you are to make reparations for the actions you’ve taken against us in the war. There is a refugee camp between us and Plumeria that needs additional volunteers. You will help however is asked of you, whatever you are capable of. While you are there, you will see the consequences of your actions. If you are genuine, I do hope you will find yourselves… enlightened.”

 

Gesturing to the Commander a little ways away from her, Angella kept going. “You will be under Commander Aurelia’s jurisdiction. However, I am generous, and in light of conflictions, have made accommodations in the form of delegating the specific responsibility of monitoring your activities to another officer under her command: Captain Marius.” Now she was looking to the officer directly. “Commander, I want you to oversee the entire camp for the duration of your stay, making sure everything is running smoothly and that our supply transport reaches them— on top of your primary mission.”

 

Saluting, Aurelia held the stance as she received her orders. “It will be done, my Queen.”

 

“You three are to depart immediately to the camp. Say your goodbyes and be dismissed.”

 

That ending left them momentarily stunned, the defectors sharing a slightly worried look. At least they were being given the chance to actually see one another off— they just didn’t expect Catra and Scorpia to be the first to go.

 

Unsurprisingly, after pulling from Entrapta with a small sad smile, Catra found herself before Adora, who wanted the same. Arms wrapping around one another, Adora sighed quietly, the embrace feeling warm and soft. They both felt worry at this early departure, but Catra resolved herself silently as she squeezed her friend a little before they pulled apart.

 

Time to show Adora just how capable she is.

 

She and Scorpia followed the Commander out of the room without another look back, and were well away before the Queen spoke again.

 

“Now, Princess Entrapta, you know what you need to do. Your first destination will be Plumeria as well. I’ve arranged for transport of resources for you to use to construct a means of defense within the kingdom that best utilizes the terrain and strengths of the people. I’ve little doubt that you could pull it off.”

 

“Plumeria, eh? Interesting. While I agree with your assessment, I do think that I may find quite a creative challenge once I’m actually there. You don’t pull your punches when you really mean it, do you, Queen Angella?” Entrapta said, sounding pleasantly surprised, to say the least.

 

“No, I do not,” was her short reply. “I’m assigning one of our smaller but advancely trained teams to act as your protectors to ensure your prolonged mission is a success. You will travel separately from Commander Aurelia.” Shifting her gaze to the remaining three. Her face softened, but still held an official look. “Adora, Glimmer, Bow, you will travel with Entrapta to Plumeria, but you have a different mission.”

 

Angella looked to one of the present guards. “Please escort Princess Entrapta to the gates. Her protection team is already assembled and ready to depart, but have them hold for now.” Once again keeping silent until the princess was far enough away from the throne room, then she shifted focus back to the others. “Princess Perfuma sent word about the progress on her ‘solution’ to fully heal the Whispering Woods. I need you to retrieve it, and use it as instructed. We’re near our stretching limits with the armies between holding retaken areas and keeping strong enough security around Bright Moon. As soon as we’re able to cut down our defensive measures, we can begin substantially pushing the Horde back into the Fright Zone and end their tyranny for good.”

 

A look of resolve swept over the trio, quickly entering a serious state of mind. This was too important to joke with. “Of course, mom. We’ll make sure this goes smoothly,” Glimmer promised. “Nothing's gonna stop us.”

 

Sighing, unknown if in relief or in caution, the Queen took in a breath right after. “I pray for this success. If there are complications, I trust you to deal with them accordingly. Ensure that this ‘solution’ takes root in our Woods. When this is done, return and report to me. From there, I’ll call the war council to plot our next strategies. It’s nearing time we begin a real offensive. Travel with Princess Entrapta, and do not speak to anyone of this mission. Good luck, and be careful. Dismissed.”

 

Saluting out of respect, the Best Friends Squad turned and left the throne room, ready for their next objective.

* * *

 

By the time they had left the castle and mobilized, Commander Aurelia’s forces had already departed, with Catra and Scorpia in tow. 

 

At least they were given horses, though.

 

About 2 hours into the journey, sun still sitting high in the sky, a stranger rode up on the other side of Catra. A well groomed young man with dark tan skin and a short but thick black beard. Jagged in shape, a thick and lighter colored scar ran up along his cheekbone and into his hairline. The bags sat heavy under his kind eyes. His armor wasn’t exactly like the standard issue of the soldiers walking all around them. No, this looked like somebody of a higher stature.

 

“Uh, who are you?” Catra asked, effectively hiding her sense of curiosity with a front of disinterest.

 

“Ah, you’re Catra then,” was his immediate response, like something clicked in his head. Kind of a jarring answer. “Making the other lovely woman beside you Princess Scorpia. Captain Marius. I’ve been tasked by the Queen herself to act as your monitor. Pleasure to meet you both.”

 

Taken aback, Catra squinted her eyes and looked him up and down with suspicion, even if she didn’t have much to justify it. His sweet demeanor was inherently suspect to her. Scorpia, however, blushed lightly and made a small noise before leaning over a little to whisper to her friend, “Oh, I like him much better than the other lady. What do you think?”

 

Instead of replying with words, she gave a small wave with her hand to let her know she wasn’t going to say anything, and kept her eyes on the Captain. “Is this a ‘kill us with kindness’ tactic or are you actually a military officer with  _ optimism? ” _

 

Smiling despite the small jab, Marius was quick on his wits. “It’s a little harder to kill a good attitude here in the Alliance, even if you take a weapon to the face. Especially now with the return of She-Ra.”

 

Flinching only slightly, Catra was momentarily distracted with the mention of the Princess of Power. A conflict of emotions that she immediately shooed away before analyzing in favor of remaining present. “What’d it take to kill it for Commander Full-of-Herself?”

 

The smile dropped, and stayed low despite his efforts to raise it again. Looking forward, he thought about what he wanted to say. “I guess losing your daughter in a Horde raid is a little harder to cope with than having a battle wound.”

 

Oh.

 

Something like that hadn’t even  _ attempted _ to cross her mind before. Adora talked a lot about how the Horde was hurting innocents, but that was always so much further away than she cared to worry about. Guess now she has to care.

 

Now Catra looked away. It was hard to feel sympathetic for the Commander, not when she heard someone else’s voice when she spoke. Aurelia had made a horrible first impression, and to her, overwriting it wasn’t an easy task. It doesn’t help that it’s assumed of her that she’s going to betray them at some point.

 

It’s hard trying to change when nobody inherently believes what she says to begin with. Only Adora ever really believed her.

 

Deciding to change the topic after a prolonged silence and a concern look from Scorpia, Catra shifted in her saddle. “Did you know about us while we were on the other side?”

 

Humming, the Captain nodded his head. “Most of the officers know you two. Especially the Bright Moon defenders who saw you dishing it out with She-Ra. Impressive, and terrifying. High up on our hit list,” he answered rather casually.

 

So casually that Catra made a sound crossed between a scoff and a laugh. “Throwing punches at She— Adora isn’t  _ that _ impressive.” She was quick to correct herself on the name, knowing that there  _ was  _ a real difference. “Adora’s always been a big jock but it doesn’t matter how big a jock she becomes, I’m still faster and more agile.”

 

Marius hummed audibly. “I knew she was a defector like you are now, but I didn’t know that you two knew each other in the Horde.” His face suggested he wanted to say more, but his mouth remained sealed. Catra raised a brow.

 

“Just because I knew who She-Ra really was doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have still tried to fight her,” she warned, not liking how quickly he jumps to assumptions, or his possible skills of perception. “I was a Force Captain in charge of leading the assault, I  _ had _ to fight her. There are other people scarier and more dangerous…”

 

“Hordak?” he asked after a short moment of dramatic trail-off. Taking the narrow side-eye as confirmation, a small smile returned to his face. “I’d imagine so. It’s easy to forget that we’re all people, no matter what side of the battle lines we’re on. People get scared, and people are forced to do things they may not want to do. We don’t get many defectors, and the ones we do tell us horror stories.” Turning to face the two of them, eyes on Catra, he looked at them with a compassionate and proud expression. “Very brave to take the risk despite all you could lose.”

 

All he got in response from Catra was a quick glare before she looked off in a completely different direction. He didn’t sound patronizing, but she couldn’t help but be irritated by it. This pampered rebel had no idea just what he was really talking about—  _ defector stories. _ What life was like in the Fright Zone. That wasn’t the real problem she had, though.

 

These people have a preconceived notion of them that is fundamentally false. She’s not brave, she’s selfish.

 

Cutting off her descent into brooding reflection was Scorpia’s upbeat input. “Oh yeah, definitely. Especially Catra. Bravest person I know, except maybe She-Ra herself. Very close second! If it wasn’t for her, I dunno if I’d even still be here. Or our friend Entrapta!” Hissing at the next thought in her train, “You have no idea how mad Hordak was last time we were in the field and failed. So mad! Like, he even threatened Catra with sen—”

 

“Scorpia,” came a harsh and low tone, “Don’t tell him things he doesn’t need to know.” With her head turned to her friend, Marius missed the underlying pleading look in Catra’s eyes when she spoke.

 

It brought a frown to her face, but Scorpia nodded, replying softly, “Okay, sorry.” Seeing the relief made her smile again just as quickly as it had gone away. “Anyway, mister Captain Sir, life in the Horde is hard and is very scary. Things are much nicer here, so I’m pretty excited to be helping out! Not a lot of people ever thanked me or said nice things to me whenever I did something helpful— except my friends of course. Feeling appreciated is nice.” She nodded her head as if she had spoken some sage wisdom. In some sense, she honestly had.

 

The message got across at any rate, and Marius laughed softly at the brightness the princess was showing. “Yes it is, Miss Scorpia. Yes it is.” With the silence, the surrounding noise of marching filled the gap as the officer examined Catra’s demeanor. 

 

While she did well to shroud her actual thoughts and feelings, it was easy to see through with the right eyes. Tense and stiff, evasiveness, sore spot regarding history and background. Marius was definitely poking the cat with a stick, and she looked near annoyed enough to lash out.

 

Then he looked away. “Only those of high enough rank know any details about you two. Most of the more common soldiers won’t really recognize you or give you any trouble for past actions. I hope you’re willing to be patient with us as we grow to accept and forgive you. Try not to take the Commander’s attitude too much to heart, and try not to worry about impressing her.”

 

Looking back to the Captain, Catra held a cautious expression in her eyes as he spoke. Huffing and drifting her gaze before their eyes met, she gave a somewhat colder response than she felt she intended, “I’m not concerned with how your boss thinks of me and I don’t care about any of her standards. I don’t need a lecture from a stranger forced to watch my every move, so if you don’t mind, I’d prefer you keep your  _ deep philosophical advice _ to yourself, thanks.”

 

Only watching her from the corner of his eye, Marius sat and listened to her silently and looked down at the reigns in his hands when she was finished with her thoughts, considering his next action. Her words were sharp and cold, rather than scalding. Like there’s a disconnect from what she felt and what she said. The picture became clearer for him and save for a small, “As you wish,” he said nothing.

 

Not much more of worth was heard over the percussion of feet stomping on the worn earth in nonrhythmic uniformity.

* * *

 

Bright orange embers crackled and popped, shooting into the air and flying barely a foot away from the burning wood— if that— before fading away into smoke and ash. They were so easy to watch as each took a single breath of life and then vanish, already gone.

 

The glow reflected strongly off of Adora’s distant eyes.

 

Glancing over to where she sat on a tall stone, hunched over and holding herself up with her arms crossing at the wrists, Glimmer ended up watching her blank look with growing concern. Spacing out wasn’t something she knows her friend to do often. Taking a deep breath, she wondered what Adora was thinking about so intently.

 

Only half acknowledging it, she told herself the answer immediately after asking herself the question.  _ Catra, probably. _ It made her flinch. 

 

A couple days of ‘slightly managing to get along’ doesn’t make up for  _ months _ of pain and struggling. For the devastation that was wrecked across the land in her narrow-minded vendetta. For helping the Horde gain ground and hurt more and more people.

 

It was just too difficult to sympathize with her. Even after seeing the Princess of Power for the first time, Glimmer was unable to put her bias against the Horde aside and see the signs of Adora’s confusion and morality. How she genuinely didn’t understand what was going on and looked… displaced. Looking back, it’s almost so painfully obvious she’s about to give herself second-hand embarrassment just thinking about it. 

 

Not the same situation with Catra. Not even close.

 

Focusing back on Adora, noting that she was still in her own world, another thought came to her. One debatably more important.  _ How does Adora feel about everything? _

 

The whole time the past couple days she’s looked pretty much only ecstatic. Not at any point did she see Adora look upset when with Catra. Obviously there were chunks of time she wasn’t present to see, but that outward strength suggested something. It got her thinking. Was all of it really her being overjoyed with the defection, or was some of it hiding how she actually felt?

 

Thinking that Adora was keeping things to herself, or even just from Glimmer, hurt a little bit. To be trusted enough with the most vulnerable of her friend’s thoughts and feelings was something she longed for. A little selfish, definitely; _that_ she’ll admit to freely. Knowing that there was still things that she doesn’t know about and haven’t been confided in with, though. 

 

She just wants to be able to help, is that so wrong?

 

Has she only done so with Catra during her life? Ah— she knows that feeling. Jealousy. Churning in her gut and quickly irritating her, souring her mood and feeling the venom towards Catra simmer. What made her so deserving of Adora’s love and trust over her?

 

Squeezing her fists tightly, Glimmer fought that wave of green back down. That’s not the kind of person she wants to be. The memory of the Princess Prom playing in her head, remembering the words Bow said to her. Softening her eyes and pulling her knees up to her chest, she watched as Adora’s features slowly hardened.

 

Was she thinking about something difficult?

 

Glancing over to the other end of the fire, Bow and Entrapta were chatting it up. From what she was able to gather from sitting there listening to them for a few minutes, it was about how her technological work was while she was gone. Of course she’d be overjoyed to share. Bow looked attentive and interested, grinning widely and adding to the conversation as best he could— even showing off a couple new utility arrows he designed.

 

Making a decision, she pushed herself from her position on the ground and made the quick walk over to sit down again next to Adora, who had immediately snapped from her daze into awareness the second she made significant movement. Glimmer felt her blue-gray eyes follow her, and she met them when she felt the dirt under her again.

 

Smiling with a compassionate look, she spoke in a soft voice. “Everything okay?”

 

Holding the neutral expression for a moment, there seemed to be thought going on behind her eyes, watching them jerk back and forth in small movements. It was quickly replaced to one of weary appreciation. Not all of it was real. By now, she could tell when Adora was hiding something, but knew better than to pry too much, even if she really wanted to.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” came her casual reply, though it felt weak, too. “How about you?”

 

Deflection? Glimmer sighed, letting her shoulders sag before pulling her knees up again. “Mhm. Just getting a little worried with you staring at the fire for so long.”

 

Adora chuckled, if a bit dry. As her smile fell, some of the tension was showing through. Was she that tired? It started to legitimize her concerns. “Yeah, sorry. I’ve been finding myself lost in thought more often lately. Hard to catch a break the past few months. A little bit of peace to catch my breath would be nice, y’know?”

 

_ Kinda, _ was her thought. “Mhm,” she hummed again. “A lot going on. Making real progress in the war. We’re pushing the borders back to where they belong. Only a matter of time before we have the Horde backed into the corner.”

 

The slight wince didn’t go unnoticed by Glimmer, but she opted to not mention it herself. A hand pulled down and pushed back up her face, taking plenty of loose skin with it as she ran her finger tips along her scalp and off the side of her head. For a second, she thought Adora might pull her hair loose. She didn’t.

 

“I’d like to not talk about the Horde, if it's all the same to you. I’ve put enough energy into it already,” Adora asked, letting some of herself drain out and slacking more.

 

Even with her posture weak and relaxed, the firelight shaped the older girl’s muscles, reminding Glimmer just how strong she is, and the scars reminding her just what she’s been through. A lot of them were large and shades different from her skin.

 

As a princess in a rebellion, there’s a lot of her shoulders by default. Being part of She-Ra’s team, even more so. Now, with her comparing the two of them, she couldn’t imagine the weight that’s on Adora. Tasked with saving the whole world and everyone in it.

 

Yeah, she can see it clearly now in her friend’s eyes. The burden of destiny.

 

_ No, _ Glimmer reminded herself,  _ She hates the idea of destiny. _ Thinking back to that horrible mission— the fear that consumed her when the temple went on lockdown, made her shiver audibly, catching Adora’s attention.

 

“You good?”

 

Nodding, they met eyes. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

 

Adora’s interest piqued. “Of course I do. You’re one of the few people I can at all.” There was another question on her tongue, Glimmer could see the thought moving across her face, but she bit on it. Watching her brows furrow brought the first pang of anxiety. “...Ah, I know what’s wrong.”

 

Her sigh was hollow and her hands rubbed the opposite bicep. “If it helps, I haven’t talked to Catra about it yet, either. Not any of it. I’m not ready to at all. When I am, I’ll talk to you. First.”

 

Something encouraged her to harden a little. “I know that expressing weakness was dangerous in the Fright Zone, but you don’t  _ have _ to work through everything on your own. Not anymore. Not if you don’t want to.”

 

Hanging her head, her fingers laced together and sat against the back of her neck. To Glimmer, most of her face was hidden behind the muscle of her forearm. The moment hung there in silence. “I know. Thanks. But this is how I am. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever un-condition myself completely. I appreciate it, anyway.”

 

The inside of her gut twisted uncomfortably and her boost of confidence fell back down flat and empty. Did she misspeak? Cross a boundary? Probably not, but it felt that way to Glimmer. She couldn’t hide her disappointed expression at Adora’s words, and she didn’t try when her friend pushed herself to her feet.

 

All she saw on Adora’s face was her mask, the previous weakness completely covered. If she didn’t know it so intimately by now, she would’ve thought nothing was wrong at all.

 

“I’m calling it a night. See you guys in the morning,” came Adora’s ragged voice before she turned around, walked past the stone she was just sitting on and vanished behind the cloth of her tent.

 

Glimmer got a weird look from the two of her friends, who had given their tired friend a simple goodnight. There was silent dialogue between her and Bow, a question in his eyes and her answer came from the shaking of her head.

 

The fire between them felt a little bit colder for her now, its crackling filling the void of silence left behind.

* * *

 

Small spaces never felt good. The soft plush beneath her in her small tent offered mild comfort from the hard ground, but it was the hard ground that gave her stability. Especially tonight. She can barely even tolerate the pillow.

 

No source of light could be seen through the thick cloth around her. The inside was pitch black. Fundamentally unsettling on its own, but just everything about her immediate surroundings felt constraining and constricting. Tight and looming. Eyes lurking beyond her vision, watching her.

 

If she needed to, there were people she could go to. People who would make her feel better. Just outside her tent. They could help, and the reminder itself was a little calming.

 

The whole day was spent mostly in her own head, her euphoria quickly wearing off with the separation. Scenes and memories played through her head relentlessly and it was hard to contain her emotions, both past and present. Closing her eyes didn’t matter because all there was to see was black, acting as the perfect backdrop for her to project the words and images rolling by her eyes.

 

Knowing exactly where this was heading, Adora threw her thin blanket off and with instinctual stealth, crawled out of the tent into a slightly more illuminated forest. The camp was empty, everyone in their own tents, sound asleep. A pang of envy hit her, and she silently wished she was capable of sleeping as easily as they can. The fire had the slightest of traces of smoke still rising, but the embers were definitely dead.

 

Walking into the forest deeper, eyes adjusted to the darkness already, she took extra care to not snap a twig or rustle bushes as she slipped away.

 

It didn’t matter how long or far she walked, not to her. The distance was necessary. This was the only thing that she thought might ease the needles in her skin and the emotional inflammation of her scars, burning in agitation. She knew why this was happening now, too.

 

Finally, it felt like she had room to be upset. Everyone expected so much from her  _ all the time _ and it would be great if she could just…

 

A white knuckled fist slammed into the thin trunk of the closest tree to her right. It shook and the leaves rustled, a couple actually falling. The sensation of the bark scratching against her bones invoking only a pain response, but it momentarily distracted her from the things that hurt more.

 

It wasn’t even just Catra. How could she honestly look at herself in the mirror if she pinned everything onto Catra? Looking into the deep color and coarse bark texture, she pictured herself gazing into a mirror but was unable to form a reflection in her head. All she saw was a tree.

 

So she struck it again, this time snapping some of the tree’s rough skin with the impact. Adora had wanted to so badly just scream and let her anger go off full throttle, desperate for validation and just wanting to give back the pain that was clawed into her flesh. So many times with Catra had she wanted to throw the sword aside and—

 

Now she drew blood, having hit it again and cutting her knuckles against it. Slamming her palms into the tall tree and hanging her head, that bubbling rage immediately twisted into heavy guilt that clung to the inside of her lungs like thick mucus. That unfinished thought made her disgusted with herself, because she knew better. She knew some of the blame  _ had _ to be on her. 

 

The blood dripping down the back of her hands and falling to the ground was the farthest thing from her mind. Adora decided to just sidestep the hoop jumping she’s already made the rounds on many times before. Should’ve done this, or should’ve done that; it accomplished absolutely nothing except make her feel that little bit more dead inside. 

 

She loved Catra far too much to ever truly hate her, and there will probably never be a feeling as strong as the relief of knowing that there will never come a time where she’d have to turn her back on her best friend for going just that last bit too far. Never again will she fear the possibility of having to  _ kill _ Catra for doing something that couldn’t be forgiven.

 

It was the Horde. They did this to them. They created this war. They made the majority of their lives essentially worthless. To grow up wanting one thing and barreling full speed towards it with single-minded stubbornness, just to be spun around and find out that what she wanted most in the world went against everything she fundamentally believed.

 

Balling her fist, she pulled it back and tensed her punching muscles as hard as she could, ready to snap the entire tree in half, even if she couldn’t in all actuality. Holding it there— holding herself in that pose as she put aside the mental effort to really look into her own thoughts, Adora hesitated.

 

Plenty of her actions have been partially fueled by spite. Just good old pure spite. Her first day away from Catra, now knowing that she would be safe within the Alliance. That the Horde no longer held its hands around her throat. It gave her an opening to finally feel the heartbreak she’s been bottling up ever since she found that damn sword. And it hurt so fucking much, boiling inside her chest like magma.

 

It didn’t matter how far away she was from the camp, cause she’d have to be too far away for the shattering of the tree and its toppling over into other trees to have not been heard. The loud crash of her fist against it, cutting through just enough of it for the tree’s own weight to snap in that direction and fall. No other trees fell under the weight— too small a tree— but they’d have to hold that broken trunk until it all rotted. Her entire hand burned and was throbbing painfully. Looking down at it, the whole damn thing was red and blood was flowing.

 

This anger wasn’t necessarily about Catra, or the things she’s done. Not completely. It was about being She-Ra. About being  _ more _ than just She-Ra. She was an individual with thoughts and feelings of her own, not just something to throw expectations onto.

 

They would’ve made her kill Catra at some point. Just like Light Hope wanted her to do. No regard for how she felt, because it was for the 'greater good.'

 

“But I was  _ Adora _ first…” she whispered hoarsely, lowering herself to her knees and letting out an exhausted sigh.

 

_ I was Adora first. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have depression!
> 
> I haven't been able to get the next chapters fully written for too long and now I have no time and I was like "AAAAA I GUESS I'LL SKIP??" and I'm here, apologizing for skipping last Sunday. I knew I wouldn't have chapter 7 ready by today, so I'm posting this here and letting y'all know that I'm gonna do my best to get back in the groove and pump out some chapters cause I *know* what I want to write in an outline, there's just the improv stuff I'm struggling with. I cannot guarantee an update next Sunday but I'll be damned if I don't try! Thank you for your patience!
> 
> Regarding the contents of this chapter, it's going to get more intense, these themes and scenes. And it may very well get more intense quickly. It's exploratory for me, and I'm doing research into what I'm trying to subtly represent, so if you have input on that I'd love to hear and improve. I really hope you guys will enjoy how I try to create/interpret the deeper and more psychological aspects of these characters.


	7. Our Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes have been given their first missions since the defection of Catra, Scorpia and Entrapta— but the latter have been separated. Catra and Scorpia travel without the others, moving with Commander Aurelia's forces to a growing refugee camp to volunteer in the reconstruction efforts, but they're not alone: Captain Marius, an officer who seems to be a good man, has been tasked with watching them. Entrapta has been sent to Plumeria with Adora, Bow and Glimmer as her first destination in her own mission, while the latter trio have something special they need to do.
> 
> But darkness continues to creep closer...
> 
> Warnings/Head's up: DARK—Proceed with caution; Self harm (implied as well, but not overbearing), reference to past trauma, panic attack, themes of death and war

Catra keeps looking over her shoulder. 

 

Every weird sound, every trick of light and shadow, every strange thing in her peripheral has her turning to face a non-existent presence. Scorpia notices when her ears twitch, or when some part of her flinches just before glancing back. She sees the weird look in Catra’s eyes before she pushes it back down, and sees that every time it happens, she looks angrier and angrier, bit by bit.

 

All Scorpia feels, though, is sad— and worried. 

 

Whenever she’s not focusing on her friend, she’s watching the people and scenes they’re walking by. Instinctively she felt pity. Poor souls that were forced to flee their destroyed homes, lost loved ones and fell to injury and sickness, migrating to someplace safer, forced to start over.

 

Then she realized that it’s not pity she should be feeling, though telling herself that doesn’t make it go away. It actually only makes it worse as she discovers the difference between pity and sympathy, the reality swirling and mixing with guilt and sitting heavily in her stomach in a way that makes the discomfort impossible to ignore.

 

It hurts her to know just how much pain she helped cause, and she wonders if Catra is experiencing the same thing, only just trying to reject it or failing to rationalize it.

 

Scorpia would believe that, if she didn’t know any better. There were different demons looming over her friend— ones she’s seen before but still doesn’t understand. 

 

Thinking deeper, she frowns as she digs through her memories to pinpoint when she started seeing it.

 

Around the time she was promoted, before the assault on Bright Moon? Yeah, that feels about right.

 

Suddenly, it started to click.  _ ‘Wait, could it be—?’ _

 

“Commander!” Marius called out over the passing crowds as Commander Aurelia came into view. Standing next to her were two soldiers and there was another woman of strong height and stature that she was having a conversation with. Given her rugged attire and equipment, she seemed to be somebody helping with the construction. The same second she turned her head to look over, her face hardened. Behind them was a scene of half-done buildings, distinct from the new ones they had been passing the, and Scorpia could see that the construction continues further in their direction.

 

Immediately Scorpia glanced to Catra and felt like she saw a shadow pass over those dual-colored eyes as her brows furrowed deeply. She saw her friend’s jaw lock as if gritting tightly and it felt dangerously familiar. Another puzzle piece slides into place.

 

“Ah, Captain, you’re finally here.” Aurelia barely gave the other two women a glance before returning to her attention to her prior engagement. The obvious disinterest in their very presence sent a pang of worry down to her stomach. Scorpia’s eyes went back to Catra and she could almost smell the blood as she watched the slight tremble in her balled, white-knuckled fists. “Director, this is Captain Marius, one of my officers. He’ll be the one helping you while we’re here.”

 

This lady’s demeanor was a lot more energetic and friendly than the commanding officer’s. She held a confident grin as she looked the three of them over. If she noticed the foul expression on Catra’s face, she didn’t regard it. “Wow, you guys look strong. I know exactly how you can help out.” She turned to Aurelia to say, “Thank you so much, Commander. The supplies and extra hands are definitely going to speed things up. We might get a whole district done ahead of schedule! That means a lot more people have homes and can start their professions again.”

 

Aurelia had a kind and compassionate smile on her face as she shook the director’s hand, and immediately Scorpia remembered what Marius had told them a few days ago. It wasn’t hard for her to spot the strain in Catra’s body to fall impassive. Kind of hard for her to not show her own conflictions, too. “It’s my absolute pleasure. Queen Angella sends her best wishes.” One of the other soldiers tapped her arm and muttered something to her, making her withdraw from the other woman.

 

One more time she looked over to Marius, Catra and Scorpia. This time she entered proper conversation distance before speaking to them. “You know your orders, Marius. Any screw-ups are on your head, so make sure nothing gets messed up.”

 

All he did was salute. “Won’t let you down, Ser.”

 

The huff she gave had clear connotations with her narrowed eyes making contact with the Former Force Captains’. Then she gestured her bodyguards to follow after her as she walked on by. Again, she carried an air of disinterest and scepticism. Scorpia did  _ not _ like that lady. Not at all. The sinking feeling of disgust and guilt felt a little heavier in her gut, knowing why but unable to connect herself to it.

 

The director had approached them and began talking to Marius, obviously wanting to include both the other women in the conversation, but found herself apprehensive. There was a glazed look in Catra’s eyes under her furrowed brows, like she was in some kind of trance. The gentle prod by Scorpia startled her, pulling her out of whatever headspace she had entered.

 

Whatever had been bothering Catra didn’t seem to vanish, only pushed down again. This time though, much to Scorpia’s mounting concern. She had a really bad feeling about it. She knew her face was reflecting it, and knew that Catra turned away to avoid the topic.

 

A momentary distraction drew their attention as both Marius and the director regarded them. “The Captain te—”

 

“Marius, please, if it’s not a problem,” he interjected softly, wearing his kind smile.

 

She smiled back. “Marius tells me that you’re special forces? Think you can handle some construction work?”

 

There was a brief moment of tense silence, with Catra visibly conflicted on what to think about the question. Scorpia made the executive decision to relieve her of the responsibility to answer. “We can do that, we’re really strong! Piece of cake.” The energy she gave eased the mood and brought a much wider smile to the woman’s face. Building stuff wasn’t hard, and knowing she was helping was quickly making her feel a little better. Although...

 

“Great! Honestly fantastic. Well, follow me and I’ll get you started on one of the new foundations.”

 

Scorpia stayed right next to her friend as they walked behind the Captain and director, and made herself a promise to have an eye on her the whole time, even if it made Catra mad. Something was wrong, and she needed to be ready.

 

* * *

 

Just as the large tree housing the Heart-Blossom runestone came into view through the dense, twisting forest, activity exploded from behind walls of roots and vines. Being a group of about 10 and with a small transport carriage, they were probably spotted. Moments later, the wide gate opened and on the other side were cheering masses growing in size.

 

Perfuma had been hard at work since the Battle of Bright Moon, using her powers to construct fortifications for her kingdom on top of regular construction.

 

Passing through the gate, Adora, Glimmer and Bow were immediately greeted by the citizenry. They waved in turn with Bow returning compliments to them all. Following behind them was the transport, where Entrapta had been sitting in the front with one of her armored escorts. Nature was more or less the opposite of technology, but if she was putting on fake awe, nobody could tell.

 

Looking around as they kept pace towards the center tree, fortification wasn’t the only thing the princess had been doing. The town had started becoming very city-like in density of buildings and population— undoubtedly refugees given sanctuary. It was no wonder it took her so long to send word.

 

The group got about halfway there and by the time the crowds started dispersing, Perfuma had arrived to meet them.

 

As the tall woman approached, she looked past her friends to find a face she did not expect and it made her stop dead in her tracks. Her mouth agape and hand raised to cover it, she met Entrapta’s eyes with a dumbfounded look. Taking that as her cue, she slid herself off the side of the carriage and walked up to the other side of Adora.

 

Abashedly, Entrapta gave her a small wave. “Hey, Perfuma. Long time no see,” she said, quite awkwardly, having many theories of how this would play out.

 

Adora had been kind to mention that nobody outside of Bright Moon yet know that she’s alive and has returned, let alone all the details regarding her work with the Horde. Whether that was a blessing or a curse, she will soon discover.

 

“You’re… You’re alive?” Perfuma asked almost like a gasp, her tone and face quickly taking on a horrified twist. “But, we  _ saw _ you—”

 

“I survived,” she shrugged, not too sure what else to say about it. Just as she opened her mouth to say something else, she found herself pulled into a tight embrace by Perfuma. She felt her tears land on her, too.

 

“I’m so so so so happy you’re alive!” she sputtered out before heaving a sob and clutching her tighter.

 

Unsure of what else to really do, even glancing over to the others and receiving nothing more than half-smiles and shrugs, Entrapta kept her short arms wrapped around the lanky frame of the nature princess as she got through her relief. For sure, being hugged by people experiencing emotions is  _ much  _ different than being hugged by an energetic Scorpia.

 

Damn. She didn’t expect how much she’d miss them already. Passively, as Perfuma calmed down and started to pull away, she wondered how her far-away friends were doing. Hopefully Catra’s staying out of trouble.

 

Now faced with a tearful smile from above her, Entrapta felt the awkward tension begin to fill her body with the self-reminder of what she still needs to confess.

 

Apparently this showed on her face, cause Perfuma, now at arm’s distance, began to form a confused and concern expression. “Entrapta? Are you okay?” she asked a tad hoarsely, followed by a sniffle.

 

“Heh, well… There’s something you should know,” she replied, rubbing at the back of her neck. Another glance over confirmed that now was the time to get it out of the way, the mood had already shifted with that attention-grabbing dramatic pause. “I’m actually back as a… defector. From the Horde.”

 

Quickly, Perfuma’s brows furrowed in confusion and intense thought, and she let her arms drop to her sides from where they sat on the smaller girl’s shoulders. “What… What do you mean you’re a defector?” The look in her eyes showed that she wasn’t being naive; that she knew exactly what she meant.

 

Taking a deep breath, she decided to just rip the leech off. Being direct was her preferred method of practice anyway. “I was with the Horde the whole time, since that mission. I managed to survive, I was taken prisoner by Catra and Scorpia, until we became friends and I  _ chose _ to stay with them because I really liked the tech they were giving me and…” Entrapta sighed. “And I picked research over you guys. I helped them fight against you guys, I helped Catra and Scorpia throw wrenches in your operations and I helped Hordak build weapons, cause I wanted to be selfish.”

 

The look on Perfuma’s face took a hard and neutrally stoic edge, and the one in her eyes were distant for a few moments as silence hung in the air. When focus returned to them, she asked, “Did we do something wrong?”

 

Immediately she began to shake her head. “No, no. I was told you guys left me to die and I was attached enough to be upset by it, so when I was offered their technology, I turned that part of me off. By the time I realized you had thought I was dead, I was already happy where I was… Okay, ‘happy’ is putting it on a little thick. I was in a state of euphoria pursuing my research at the extent I was.” For the first time, Entrapta let her gaze drop from eye contact. “I felt better being friends with Catra and Scorpia than I did you guys… They listened to my rambling and gave me a lot of encouragement and I felt like they  _ wanted _ me. That’s why I stayed with the Horde even as they started to crack down on us.”

 

When Perfuma glanced over to the others— eyeing Adora specifically— she found sympathetic expressions, though on top of it was guilt from Adora. She didn’t let on that she thought that, before she looked back down at Entrapta, who was still looking away.

 

“Then… why are you here now? Why did you defect?” she asked cautiously, with a measured tone.

 

Which prompted the smaller princess to look back up. “Cause I didn’t defect alone.” Just as she said that, Perfuma’s eyes widened as she noticed the other girl  _ flinch _ and her heart sank. Whatever Entrapta was expecting to be her response, it made her sick. She didn’t need to ask for deeper elaboration on that. She didn’t need to ask much of anything else. Only one more thing.

 

“Are you here to help?”

 

Entrapta nodded.

 

With her hand shooting out to grab Entrapta’s, Perfuma held her’s with both hands gently and spoke to her with an understanding smile. “Then welcome home.”

 

It took everything in the girl’s power to keep her composure, but she smiled back— even grinning. “Thank you…”

 

Before they knew it, Adora was standing next to them. “Angella’s ordered her to go around the Rebellion’s capitals and use the technology she’s stolen and expanded on to make the kingdoms more defensible against the Horde. That’s why those armored guys are here, they’re her escort team.”

 

Clapping her hands together, Perfuma grinned. “Wow! That’d be absolutely wonderful! We’d be really grateful to have your help with something like that!” She looked over towards Glimmer. “Tell your mother that I’m honored and thankful to have been her first destination.” Turning her head to one of her vassals, she motioned them closer and muttered something to them before sending them off and returning her attention to her friends. “We’ve got probably the most flood of refugees from the war than any of the other kingdoms, so any defensive help we can get, we’ll use.”

 

Now with everyone smiling, Entrapta spoke up, “I’m honestly pretty excited to get started. I’m hoping that going around all the kingdoms will also benefit me as a learning experience.”

 

Nodding, Perfuma took one of her hands again. “I’m really happy you’re back. I’ve called for my Defense Administrator, who will work with you as you do your work. And if you felt pushed away last time, I’ll put in conscious effort to not make you feel that way again.”

 

Letting out a shaky, awkward breath, there was a pang of guilt in Entrapta’s stomach. “It’s me who should be putting effort into earning your forgiveness and trust again.” The comment only got a momentarily wider smile.

 

“We’ll have a feast tonight to celebrate your return, and to a prosperous and victorious future! For now, though, we’ll head back to the Heart-Blossom until my Administrator arrives.” As she mentioned the runestone, she glanced over to the others, who understood the purposefully vague message. “Follow me, please!” Perfuma said, releasing the small hand and motioning for them to come along.

 

* * *

 

Watching Catra felt like watching a sick mouse try to take the cheese without triggering the trap. The anticipating dread of calculating the likelihood of a mistake and— snap. Scorpia did her best to remain discreet and subtle while she ate, watching her friend just… push her food around in the bowl, staring down at it like somebody had pissed in it. Glancing over to Marius, she had no idea if he knew something was wrong either, but if he did, he wasn’t making any sign of it.

 

The three of them had been sitting there for a good 15 minutes, Marius having finished his single serving within the first five. As soon as Scorpia had noticed that Catra wasn’t eating any of it, she went through her’s as slowly as she could. Mentally, she was congratulating herself on having not kept her eye off her friend the entire time, but that meant she knew that Catra had not even lifted a  _ single _ spoonful. This was really starting to concern her.

 

Truth of the matter is, the raw manual labor helped keep her mind relatively blank. Now that they were on a food break, Catra found that she wasn’t really hungry at all… just nauseous.

 

Not long after that, Marius rose from his seat and asked for Scorpia’s empty bowl, which she handed over. Stepping towards the other woman, he knelt down low enough to be about eye-level with Catra’s sitting form. She didn’t look up from pushing the stew around. “You gonna eat any of it?” he asked gently. Her hand froze. After a few seconds of heavy silence, she offered it to him without a word, without a glance.

 

Rising to his feet, he stacked the bowls and headed towards the booth serving the lines of refugees waiting to eat.

 

With the brief moment of privacy, Scorpia moved herself across the way and sat next to Catra. Their eyes met for only a moment before she slowly dragged hers away to gaze down at her empty, sore hands. Following the path up her arms, and her scars with her eyes. Almost absentmindedly, her clawed fingers traced over one of them, the four parallel drag marks across the inside of her arm. It was a gentle touch, but she still flinched when the claws made contact.

 

_ ‘Don’t bother trying so hard, foolish child. You’ll never amount to anything, I don’t even know why you’re still here. I would have gotten rid of you long ago.’ _

 

She remembers why, and wishes she couldn’t. Before she could make the descent into it, a large pincer slowly blocked her view as the thicker part slipped between Catra’s hand and arm, as if holding her hand. Her sigh pulled out all of the air in her lungs as she let some of the tension go from her body. After a moment, she pulled her hand away so she could hold up her hanging head.

 

Before Scorpia could even open her mouth, only taking the breath in, she was cut off. “Please don’t ask. I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

Frowning, she kept her pincer resting on Catra’s leg and did not relent. “I don’t think you have much of a choice. Whatever you’re bottling up, it’s not good. I know you’re not dealing with it— you’re trying to fight it.”

 

Catra pushed her friend’s arm away as she sat up to scowl at her. “What the hell else am I supposed to do? I said I don’t want to talk about it— it’s not anybody else’s problem!” she bit back with clear agitation, but her face slowly fell the longer she sat there, taking in the uncharacteristically disappointed look Scorpia was wearing. It started to hurt, so she went back to looking down. “Can you just—”

 

“No, I can’t,” came her swift interjection. Scorpia’s tone was soft and understanding. “Talking about something doesn’t make it someone else’s problem. You’re not passing a disease.” One of her arms moved behind Catra’s back to gently pull her closer in a half embrace. “You don’t have to hide anything from me. If you tell me, maybe I can do something. You have to let people help you, Catra. Nobody does everything on their own. That’s why we make friends.”

 

_ ‘Friends? They aren’t your friends. They don’t care about  _ you _. Why should they? Even Adora will eventually realize your worthlessness, just you wait.’ _

 

Silence dragged on after that, but Scorpia sat there patiently, seemingly content to wait until Catra was ready to say something. Even then, she felt the pressure to say  _ something _ rather than force them to sit in that silence. It was hard to keep herself steady as she processed Scorpia’s words, cause thoughts only continue moving from there. Her hands had began to tremble, when there was a weak tug on her vest.

 

“Excuse me?” asked a child’s voice.

 

Both of them sat up and looked to the left to find a small girl covered in dirt with a handful of wildflowers. She let go of the blue fabric and met Catra’s eyes with hopefulness, even as theirs furrowed into confusion.

 

“Uh…” Glancing back to Scorpia, who had pulled away some, was met with the same confusion she was feeling. Turning back to the girl, she asked, “Yeah…? Do you... need something?”

 

The girl nodded. “Can you help me? I think I’m lost…”A sniffle, she looked to be pretty scared, till she swallowed it down and forced her determination outward. “I'm trying to find my parents. They're… east of Food Line 3, just past the medical tent. But I dunno where that is from here.”

 

Again, the two of them shared a look and their thoughts mirrored each other. They had no idea what to do— not like  _ they _ knew either. 

 

Thankfully, they weren’t left to panic for all that long. “What’s going on?” came the Captain’s concerned voice as he approached, emerging from the passing crowd. His first focus was the two defectors, but he quickly acknowledged they had not moved from where he left them. Then, his attention locked onto the girl, who had turned around at the sound of his voice. Feeling the question didn’t matter, he approached the child and knelt down to be at eye-level. “Hello there, I’m Captain Marius, with the Bright Moon forces. Is something the matter?” he asked softly and smiled.

 

The girl nodded, then glanced to the other two women, who still looked thrown off by the situation. She gave him a hard, resolved look. “I’m trying to find my parents. Auntie said they were east of Food Line 3, just past the medical tent.”

 

Both women saw the ghost that passed over the Captain’s face, but it vanished just as quickly as it appeared and his smile looked a little forced. “Of course. I think I know where that is. We’ll escort you.” Rising to his feet, it wasn’t easy to spot, but Catra did. He wouldn’t meet their eyes and she watched him turn around and start walking, with the girl following close behind.

 

She and Scorpia did too.

 

Marius was strangely silent as he lead them through the crowds and down the paths. There was a slight tension surrounding him; it felt off, for sure. Maybe the girl sensed it too, cause she slowed down a little bit to be next to Catra.

 

When she glanced down at her, she met her awed eyes. “Your eyes are really pretty. Why are they different colors?”

 

All Catra could do for the first few seconds was blink and look at her as if she had grown a second head. She found her nerve again with the smallest traces of red rising with it. “Uh… I don’t really know. Just how they are, I guess.”

 

If she hadn’t been watching the girl’s face, Catra would’ve missed the slight droop in her smile. For whatever reason, it had stood out in that moment. “A lot of things are ‘just how they are,’ aren’t they?” she asked with a much softer tone before bringing back an even more powerful and bright smile. “Maybe one day, when I grow up, I can change some of those things. I don’t really like mysteries and not knowing stuff, so I’d like to one day solve some of them.”

 

The way she said that— the steady and even tone of voice she used, as if she was consciously measuring it. As if she was making sure there were no weaknesses in it.

 

_ ‘Hah! Don’t make me laugh. You won’t accomplish anything in your pitiful life, don’t you realize that by now? Nothing will ever work out for you, as it should be. You’re too  _ weak _.’ _

 

Catra held onto her silence, needing to look away.  _ ‘How long before she loses that naivety?’ _ she wondered. There wasn’t anything she wanted to say in response. It was better she didn’t say anything than end up making the girl upset.

 

“Are you with the soldiers?” she suddenly asked, as if her previous thoughts were forgotten.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Then why aren’t you wearing uniforms like them? Don’t soldiers have to wear uniforms?”

 

A couple seconds passed before the girl got an answer. “Cause we’re…”  _ ‘Defectors’ _ danced on the tip of her tongue, but Catra remembered what the director thought they were. She could take a hint. “Cause we’re special forces, but we’re just here to help out,” she said, her voice just as measured, just as careful as the girl’s had been.

 

Glancing down as she said it, Catra didn’t miss the look in the girl’s eyes or the slight internal furrow of her brows. It was the child who turned away to speak, now.

 

“I remember the soldiers that attacked my home,” immediately caught attention. “A lot of people didn’t make it, but Auntie made sure I was safe, even after she got hurt. I remember her smile a lot more than anything else.”

 

Marius hadn’t turned around at all, but Catra figured that he was listening just as Scorpia was. The tension was steadily getting stronger and something didn’t sit right in her gut.

 

“Even when there were loud explosions, she smiled and told me she’d protect me. And she did. We were lost for a little while, but eventually we made it here. That was some time ago,” she continued, not cracking up or sniffling even once. “Auntie said my parents were here, so I’m trying to find them. She needed to help in the medical tent and told me to ask a soldier for help if I need it.” She pointed ahead, to the Captain. “I saw him talking to you but he went away before I could reach him.”

 

Catra couldn’t help but feel something simmer in her chest. Something sticky and painful and kept getting worse the more she listened.  _ ‘Was this that bitch’s game? Does she really think she can manipulate me like this?’ _ Slowly, her fists clenched and she ignored the sharp pain of her claws digging into her skin.  _ ‘A serpent’s move. I should’ve known she’d pull something like this.’ _

 

_ ‘You make it far too easy to get into your head, girl. It’s almost trivial, and incredibly amusing.’ _

 

She almost didn’t hear the Captain speak. 

 

“We turn here, it’s only a little further now. You know what you’re looking for, right?” Marius asked the girl as they closed the few feet of distance to him and followed him down a slightly narrow alley between two dirty and roughed up buildings.

 

“Yes I do. Thank you for helping me, Ser.”

 

His smile was genuine this time, but not as big as he usually smiles. “Of course. I’m more than happy to help anyone in need. I just wish there was more I could do.” Glancing up, he met Catra’s suspicious eyes, but  _ his _ betrayed nothing as he looked away and continued to lead them. The alley lead to a road that was obviously not a main road, but wide enough for maybe single carts to get through. A neighborhood complex, maybe?

 

Whether he meant to or not, that last bit he said felt cryptic in some way and it only annoyed Catra further. He was manipulating her too— he had to be. Angella gave Aurelia orders, who gave Marius orders. There was no way he wasn’t in on it. 

 

The Queen  _ wants _ her to suffer. That much is obvious now.

 

 _'The odds are stacked against you. They'll always be. It's only natural to be suspicious, cause who in their right mind would ever give_ you  _a chance?'_

 

When they got through the small maze of buildings and got to another main road, suddenly in place of them were scattered and tattered tents for almost as far as her eyes could see. Some of them had side-flaps which obscured the people within from view, but there was more than enough outside of them to show her everything she needed to know.

 

Filled close to the brim were countless wounded, wrapped in bloody bandages. People who could walk were in lines and people who couldn’t were laying on cots. It was reasonable for Catra to think that the worse-off patients were hidden from view as they were cared for by doctors— or people who qualified enough to be doctors in a situation like this. There were too many who were missing entire limbs, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the overwhelming stench of blood just made her nausea all that much worse.

 

Just as she shut her eyes closed to offer herself some mental reprieve, she felt the gentle prodding of the tip of Scorpia’s pincer. For that hand, she relaxed her grip to allow it to slide against her sore palm.

 

Marius’ voice prompted her to open her eyes again. He was looking straight at her. “Stay close to me, I don’t want anyone to get lost. We’re almost there.” He offered his hand to the child, who put the small collection of flowers in her other hand so she could take his.

 

She didn’t want to hear the cries of the injured. She didn’t want to be here. As they weaved through the outskirts of the medical zone, Catra refused to look in their direction. These were the consequences to war— consequences she shouldn’t even be caring about. If she didn’t care, why did it bother her so much?

 

_ ‘You deserve this pain. You know you do. That’s why you continue your insolence, isn’t it? Because you know you deserve punishment. I’m more than happy to oblige.’ _

 

It felt like it took forever to reach the end, where she could hear her own thoughts again and not the sound of blood and shadows. It was when Marius proclaimed, “We’re here now,” that she lifted her head to look ahead.

 

Somehow, it felt even worse than before.

 

Catra watched as the child took the lead and walked further into the massive graveyard, having no choice but to follow. Her thoughts raced, but they were distant and quiet, like whispers in the dark. Whispers that damned her own existence.

 

There were numerous others present, standing over the buried deceased. Somewhere deeper in the middle was a large stone with small engravings that she couldn’t read from where she was, but she knew. Carved into it were the names of the people beneath them. Somebody was on their knees on one side of it, putting in more names. She could hear the chipping sound. 

 

Her consciousness felt like it was pulling away from her body, moving automatically. Now everything was distant. When the girl stopped before a single stone that had a necklace hanging from it, they knew that she had found her parents.

 

“Hey mom and dad. I found you,” she said as she lowered herself to her knees and placed the flowers on the disturbed dirt. “I brought you flowers. Auntie picked them with me. She’ll be here soon, I know she wants to talk with you.”

 

_ ‘What a pitiful creature. So sad and alone, with nobody to save you.’ _

 

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore, I’m safe now. Auntie’s been taking good care of me. I’ve been brave like you told me to be. I know you’re proud, it’s okay that you can’t tell me so. I can hear you here,” she pointed to her chest, “in my heart. Auntie said you’ll always be there.”

 

_ ‘Adora’s not here to protect you anymore, and we both know you’re nothing without her.’ _

 

“I made a lot of friends. We’ve been helping the grown-ups with small things. A lot of homes have been built, too, but they’re still trying to sort us out. They didn’t separate me from Auntie either, but we do live with a bunch of other people. They’re nice though, so it’s okay. One day, we’ll have our own house again, and I can keep helping Auntie make clothes, like we used to. I’ll be sure to come by and show you the really pretty things…” It was only a matter of time before they heard the slight waver in her voice as the silence invaded the empty space her words weren’t filling. “But…”

 

_ ‘Oh? ‘But’ what? Don’t tell me I hurt your feelings. Such weakness has no place here, and neither do you. One day you’ll be gone and there’ll be no one to mourn you, only people who laugh and then forget.’ _

 

The first sob broke through the girl’s resilient and controlled exterior just as Catra’s claws broke the skin of her right palm. She couldn’t feel the blood and she couldn’t feel Scorpia’s squeeze. “B-but… I w-wish you were still here to see it… I wish you came back alive— Why did you have to die?!” Her voice cracked and broke into wails of anguish as she pressed her hands to her face and cried into them.

 

A frozen chill shot from the feel of a thin hand grabbing her shoulder, fingertips digging in painfully and suddenly her lungs wouldn’t fill with air as she heard  _ her _ voice right next to her ear.  _ ‘You think you can hide from  _ me,  _ pest? It’s time for you to be punished.’  _

 

Before Catra even realized she was moving, she was running as if her life depended on it. The ghost of another hand wrapped around her throat and kept her breathing restricted, bringing about a burning in her very blood. Child-like terror rushed through her as her conscious mind was launched backwards. Every time she stumbled and fell, she clawed her way back to her feet and kept going. That’s what she always did.

 

_ ‘You still think you can run from me? There really is no hope for you if you’ve still failed to learn even the most simple of things: You can’t escape me. You’ll never be able to escape me.’ _

 

Any calls for her were drowned out with by that wicked voice with her toxic words and her own strained panting, her body powered by fear and agony, desperate to get away. To escape. It didn’t matter that she knew Shadow Weaver wasn’t there— how could she be from a cell in the Fright Zone? She felt like she was running down those dreary corridors again, having barely done _anything_ and being hunted by that witch.

 

_ ‘Stop running, worthless brat! Angering me further will only result in more pain. Do not be a glutton for punishment! I will catch you and you will be disciplined!’ _

 

Shadow Weaver’s voice spoke in her mind almost as clearly as it would’ve if Catra were in the room with her, and she couldn’t tell if they were things she had said before or were being created in her head. Felt real enough either way. It was impossible for her to know how long she ran, the burn in her legs was indistinguishable from the pain everywhere else. She made it to the narrow pathways that separated the construction zone and the medical one before her legs gave up and she crashed into the course wall before falling to the ground.

 

_ ‘I warned you, didn’t I? Go ahead and cry, you feeble disappointment. Soak in your own failure and uselessness.’ _

 

The world around her spun with no end, even as she curled up and held it, eyes shut tightly. Her lungs were still fighting against her, and she became very aware of the burning turning to stinging numbness. How could she focus on breathing when her panic moved to screaming that if she didn’t control herself, she might suffocate?

 

_ ‘Etheria  _ would  _ be better off without you. Wouldn’t that be such a pathetic way to die? A broken, miserable waste of space, choking on her own weakness? No longer would I, nor anyone else— including Adora— have to suffer your presence.’ _

 

Strong hands grabbed at Catra and pulled her from the dirt ground, forcing her to sit up. Just as quickly, the grip felt essentially non-existent but remained rested on her shoulders. “Catra— Catra, listen to my voice. I need you to listen to my voice, okay?” 

 

Confusion struck her like a lightning bolt and she struggled to open her eyes and identify the source of the voice. Crouched in front of her was Marius, and that’s as far as she got before he spoke again. “You’re not in the Fright Zone. You’re not in danger. Concentrate on your breathing. That’s all you need to do right now. Focus on your stomach.”

 

With as much care as he could, he took Catra’s hands and placed one just below her ribs and one on her chest. “Hold those there,” he instructed, moving his hands back to her shoulders. “Breathe with your gut. In through your nose and out through your mouth. There’s nothing else you need to do.”

 

A voice screamed inside her head, telling her that she didn’t need his help. That he wasn’t her friend and doesn’t care about her. It told her she can only ever rely on herself and that’s what she should do— but it was hard to hear it over  _ his _ voice. “Whe… W-where’s—” she panted out, struggling to get out what she wants to say.

 

“Exactly where you left her. You’re safe, just breathe.”

 

His repetition felt like it should be annoying, but it kept her focused. If there was annoyance, she couldn’t feel it beneath the raging headache that was forming as her lungs took in more and more air. Shadow Weaver’s strangled voice began to fade. Feeling had started to return to her limbs and she was able to acknowledge the burn of exhaustion in her body rather than the burn of panic. It hurt much less, at least.

 

“Well done, you did it, but keep breathing. Keep it as slow as you can.”

 

Lifting her right hand from where it sat on her chest, Catra looked down to gaze miserably at the open wounds cut into already scarred skin, feeling the stinging throb as the blood leaked out.  _ ‘Fuck… Did it again…’ _ she thought, staring for another moment before closing her eyes and pressing the back of her head against the wall with a heaving, drained sigh.  _ ‘Could I have been any more of a fuckup?’ _

 

In the short moment she sat like that in silence, her immediate future ran through her head. The Commander would take her prisoner, bring her before the Queen and she’d receive judgement befitting of her crimes, likely be executed while Adora not only watches but is punished as well. Scorpia might lose her shot of joining the Rebellion too. All because she can’t control her demons. The dread fell on a numb heart.

 

She didn’t expect Marius to take her hand and examine it. Instinctively she wanted to jerk her hand away from him, but the urge died before her body could act on it. Instead, she furrowed her brows in suspicion. “What are you doing?” she asked in an accusatory tone, masking the slight surprise she felt when she heard just how hoarse her words were.

 

Even more surprisingly, he didn’t answer. Instead, he slipped off his gauntlet— which only confused her more— and pulled out a knife to cut the end of his sleeve and tear off quite a bit of it. Very quickly she realized what he was doing, but decided not to stop him. Catra watched as the Captain wrapped the ripped cloth around her hand tightly and tie it off at the back.

 

When he rose, he extended a hand down to her. “We can go to a less critical medical zone to have your hand treated. I won’t make you go back, but we do need to collect Scorpia.”

 

Her eyes locked onto the hand, only drifting up when she wanted to speak. “You gonna tell your boss I ran off?”

 

Marius raised an eyebrow down at her curiously. “Why would I do that?”

 

“Uh, cause I broke the terms of my defection. Don’t you have to report that?”

 

Of all the things she expected, his soft and kind smile was not one of them. “Tell me, how can one expect someone to show compassion if compassion is not shown to them? I should report it, but I’m not going to, cause you didn’t do it on purpose. I believe that you want to make a change. Is that a satisfactory answer?”

 

For several long moments, Catra sat there completely stunned, gawking at him. Being shown kindness didn’t make her feel giddy or happy or anything like she expected, and it didn’t magically erase the lingering pain in her mind and body, but it offered a powerful and almost tangible relief. She fully believed that she had ruined basically everything for herself, but Marius just told her different.

 

Catra had never felt more grateful to not be with the Horde anymore than in that moment.

 

Taking his hand and pulling herself to her feet with only mild difficulty, Catra steadied herself. Marius smiled wider as she held her injured hand and lightly rubbed over the wounds on her palm through the fabric. Quietly, she muttered, “Thanks…”

 

The Captain said nothing more as he turned and lead Catra out of the maze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a real hot minute since I've been able to post a chapter— not only was depression kicking my butt more than I had originally thought so, but the chapter itself was as well. I've rewritten it several times but I broke through it yesterday and was able to finish! Hopefully with that out of the way, I'll be able to proceed at a much greater pace and get back on track. You don't know how appreciative I am of your patience, valued readers. Thank you.
> 
> There may have been some misconception from the notes of the last chapter, so I'll clarify: I've been struggling with depression for years, so it's not a new thing. I'm actually in a MUCH better place than I have been in the past, and your wonderful comments have encouraged me to keep posting. I'm so happy to be able to share something with you guys.
> 
> Final notes, this chapter was pretty dark, and this is only the beginning. This is the kind of thing I want to explore, especially since it's implied (even if a little sugarcoated) in the actual show regarding Adora and Catra's experiences with Shadow Weaver. I hope those of you who are sensitive to these topics did not find yourselves triggered in anyway that you cannot manage. I will continue to post warnings at the start of chapters. But know this: They *will* make recovery progress in this story— I have 0 intention on leaving them with this suffering. I ain't gonna do them dirty like that! Love Always Wins in the End, right?
> 
> (Also, I did my best to research the things I'm representing, so any advice based on how I write it would be valuable!)


	8. Outplaying the Players

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The threat of darkness continues to grow, sometimes it's hard to see the hope through it. Marius has begun to prove himself to Catra and Scorpia after a sudden episode, while Entrapta makes personal amends with Princess Perfuma. Plans are formed and plans are put into action, but this is a game with high stakes and ambiguous winners. Try as one might to shine a light on the unknown, there is no such thing as complete certainty.
> 
> Warnings/Heads-Up: Reference to past trauma, consequences and hazards of war, immoral coercion, implied civilian harm.
> 
> This one's a longer chapter.

“In here.”

 

The heavy door opened slowly as two large guards pushed on it. When they had descended so deeply into the kingdom, underground through a secret passageway, a greenhouse with natural sunlight was the last thing they expected from the other side. Lining the rows of natural and purposefully-made vines, layered on top of itself until it formed walls, were beautiful, almost glowing red flowers— and there must’ve been multiple dozens, if not upwards of 100 growing buds. They all hung from the walls, growing from the thickest of vines.

 

Perfuma lead the team inside and all the way through to the other end. If they had been awed by the extensive work before them from the regular sized flowers, then their jaws hit the floor when they saw the substantially larger specimen.

 

About the size of a large melon and almost  _ pulsing _ with life, like a heartbeat, the internal glow hidden by the sealed petals lighting and dimming in tune with an imaginary rhythm. 

 

With a gentle touch, the plant princess ran her hand down the flower as if petting it. “I had tried something unusual, and got something I couldn’t have imagined I’d get.” Perfuma turned to them, hand still on the bud. “I took a little bit of sap from the Heart-Blossom tree. This flower should bring the Whispering Woods back to life and protect it from further planetary interference.”

 

Just beneath the massive flower was a table with scattered notes strewn about. One was folded neatly and had only 1 word written:  _ Instructions. _ Perfuma took it and handed it to Adora. “You need to reach the deepest part of the Whispering Woods and plant it some place that won’t be easy to find. That’s all you have to do— it will take root and survive on its own. I’ll give you several of the other buds to plant further out to help empower the Heart Flower. I suggest you hide them, too.”

 

“And you’re sure it’ll work?” Glimmer asked, concern thick in her voice and clear on her face.

 

Nodding, she gave the short girl a reassuring smile. “I have no doubt.” Quickly, though, her face turned stern and serious. “But you need to hurry. I don’t know how long it’ll stay alive once I sever it from its lifesource. Long enough to travel into the Woods, I’ve tested with the smaller buds, but I don’t have an exact timeframe. I’ll gladly send some of my people with you to help, but I’m afraid I can’t go with you myself.”

 

The way her voice deepened and how something passed over her eyes brought suspicion to Adora. Furrowing her brows, she asked, “Is there something going on?”

 

Perfuma simply sighed. “I’ve received scouting reports regarding Horde movements. It’s not that they’re amassing forces and preparing for any kind of attack that worries me… its the fact they seem random and sporadic. My experts can’t determine any strategy or purpose for them. I’ve forwarded them to Queen Angella already, but I need to be here to act if I need to.”

 

Adora opened her mouth to say something, but she stopped and closed it, instead raising a hand and pressing it to her jaw. Dozens of things flew through her head, certain tactics she was familiar with that may fit the ‘random and sporadic’ criteria, but none clicked. “I guess I’ll have to look them over when we get back to Bright Moon. We don’t have time right now for it.”

 

_ ‘If only Catra could help with that, too— she was actually  _ in _ a position of command and calling shots, unlike me… She’d know more,’ _ she thought, and quickly stored it away for later.

 

“I agree. I’ve already arranged transportation for you— they’re on standby. If you wanted to, you could leave just after dinner,” Perfuma said, turning to face the giant flower before leaning over and flipping through all the papers. “First though,  _ we _ need to make a plan if we want to get as many of these flowers planted as possible. I have a map of the Whispering Woods here somewhere… Here!” 

 

As if pulling it from thin air, a map of the Woods was procured from the pile and laid out on top of it, illuminated by the lights around them. There were linked notes all over the page. Calculations and estimations of time and distance from point to point, frequently compared to the combined notes of flower lifespan. In big writing at the most barren corner was the distance and time it would take to get to the Woods, marked X on the map at the closest possible point between the two regions.

 

From there, Perfuma pointed out the most important pieces of information, like the areas of which to plant all the flowers and explanations of her calculations of time, lifespan and placement. In summary, the faster they move, the more they can do.

 

“However, there’s only one factor I haven’t been able to reliably apply to all of this. I don’t know how far and how frequently Glimmer can teleport. I know that it could drastically cut down time usage, but I doubt she could pull it all off herself,” she added, straightening herself and crossing her arms.

 

“Yeah, I’ve been using my magic a lot, so I’ve gotten better with it, but the more people who go with me, the less energy I have after,” Glimmer said, hands on the table. “Taking 2 people over long distances, I could maybe do once or twice before I’m drained.”

 

“Then how about this,” Adora interjected, her words carrying an authoritative strength as her finger landed on the X on the map. “When we get there, I take the big one and head to the center on my own.” Dragging the tip across the paper to the center to emphasize her words, she then lifted it and circled the far end of the forest. “Glimmer, you can take care of the spots farthest away, starting with the south, since it’ll take too long for anyone else to get to. Bow and any extra hands we take with us can cover the area we enter in. Once  _ I’m _ done, I’ll go north and meet Glimmer part way. Once we regroup, we’ll follow the route back to Bow.”

 

Nobody voiced any disagreement with that plan as Adora pulled herself back and rubbed at her jaw again. “Might be able to get at least 8 smaller flowers planted if we do that, but we can all carry extras just in case. If we have time left, we can move back deeper into the forest about halfway between the wider circle and the center, and make another round. I’ll go one way by myself, and you two can go the other…” After another short moment of silence, she turned her head to Perfuma. “Is there anything else we need to do after we plant them?”

 

Meeting her eyes, a small wave of relief swept over her. “You only need to be patient. It won’t happen instantaneously, but you should see improvement rather quickly— after the first few days. Just protect the forest until it can protect itself,” she answered.

 

The grinning from Glimmer and Bow were somehow comforting despite the next question on the tip of her tongue. “We can totally do that! This is gonna be a piece of cake!” Glimmer cheered.

 

“What happens if someone finds one of the flowers?” Adora asked, and it pierced right through that optimistic air like butter. “Will destroying one of the small ones impact the process?”

 

One of Perfuma’s eyebrows rose as she regarded the question. “Yes, but only a little. They’re non-essential boosts to the process, tapping into the natural magic to connect to one another. The only one you should worry about is the Heart Flower. I’ll keep the rest on reserve in the instance one gets discovered and destroyed.” Perfuma smiled as she said that, turning partially towards the multitude of regular sized buds. “Maybe I can empower them in the meanwhile, too, so that they’re even stronger. Either way,” her eyes met Adora’s again with a confidence that restored all theirs, “When the Heart takes root, we’ll have the Whispering Woods back.”

 

Now Adora grinned, “Then we have our plan.”

* * *

 

All she needed to hear was the loud cry of, “Catra!” to know what was coming. Bracing herself just in time, she managed to not get winded with the vicious embrace as she was plucked from the earth. The squeeze burned within her torso and it was only until her wheezing got louder than Scorpia’s worried tears and incoherent babbling that she was put back down with room to breathe.

 

“Are you okay? What happened?” she asked, composing her words enough to be understood as she gazed down into Catra’s weary and red eyes. It was difficult to raise them to meet, but she managed to.

 

With a low, soft voice, Catra answered, “...You were right, but I can’t tell you right now. I will, though, okay?”

 

Scorpia’s face hardened a little before she smiled and embraced her again— gently this time— and whispered, “I’m gonna hold you to that, got it?”

 

Her chuckle came out rough, but she managed a small smile. “Got it.”

 

Looking over her, Scorpia remembered to acknowledge Marius’ presence and her concern became evident on her face. Still holding her friend, she asked, “Are… you going to tell the Commander?”

 

Surprising to her, he just smiled and shrugged. “Tell her what? I didn’t see anything wrong.” On his way past the two women, he added on, “Just stick together, alright?” before kneeling in front of the girl who seemed to have long since let her tears dry.

 

Before he could even open his mouth to ask, she answered, “I’m okay. Is the other lady okay?”

 

“She will be, don’t worry. It had nothing to do with you. Do you know when your Auntie will be here?”

 

She nodded. “Not much longer…”

 

Patting her shoulder gently, Marius smiled wider. “We’ll stay with you until she arrives. Does that sound agreeable to you?”

 

Nodding again, she smiled back. “Yes. I’d really like to not be by myself, so thank you.” She looked past the Captain and met the eyes of Catra and Scorpia. Her smile grew. “Thank you, too!”

 

Despite trying not to, Catra couldn’t help but flinch slightly, a sick drop falling into her gut. All she could return was a small, half-hearted smile before turning away and letting it drop.  _ ‘You shouldn’t thank me…’ _

 

“Do you want to sit down?” Scorpia asked in a soft voice. Taking her silence as  _ ‘I’m not saying no,’ _ she guided Catra to a spot a little bit closer to Marius and the child, but not in the immediate space of any graves and sat on the dirt.

 

There was silence between them for several moments. Catra sat with her arms around her knees and staring distantly at the ground. Just as Scorpia thought about saying something, she felt the soft brush of her friend’s hair as she was leaned on. Instead of speaking, she smiled. Sometimes words aren’t necessary.

 

Neither of them really realized that Marius and the child weren’t saying much of anything either. Catra was resting, in a way, and Scorpia didn’t even consider disturbing her and was more than content to sit quietly.

 

It wasn’t until there was an older woman’s voice calling out a name that their attention was caught. They missed the name, but knew who it was when the girl called back, “Auntie!”

 

Looking over, it was a tall, lanky lady with her hair pulled up in a messy bun. Her clothes were worn and dirty, with a few noticeable blood stains. Noticing the rest of them, her face took a turn for the mildly concerned. “Oh, are you military?” she asked, mostly directed to Marius, who was in uniform.

 

He smiled. “We are. We’ve been helping with the reconstruction efforts. Your niece was lost and asked for help finding her way here. Captain Marius, 4th Division of the Bright Moon Army,” he said, holding out his hand when she was in shaking distance.

 

The woman’s smile was appreciative but had a hardened flavor, she shook his hand with a strong grip. “Well, thank you then, Captain. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”

 

“It was none at all— more than happy to help. You’ve got a strong girl under your wing.” He glanced back at the others. “We need to get back to our posts now. Take care, the both of you.”

 

“You too, Captain,” the older woman said, a hand going to the far shoulder of the child as she joined her aunt’s side.

 

Marius turned on his heel and walked over to the two women, who had began to rise from where they sat on the dirt, waiting for him. His smile was small, his eyes betraying his sense of sympathy. “Let’s get back. I’ll talk to the director, so don’t worry about our sudden absence. We’ll work a few more hours, then we can call it a day.”

 

Leaving the graveyard behind, there wasn’t much of anything that Catra wanted to say. There was no reluctance to what Marius said, it sounded like a good idea. The labor earlier had numbed her mind well enough, it’d be nice to give it little bit of a reprieve before night falls.

 

Things always get worse at night.

* * *

 

She heard the footsteps behind her before they even reached the tent.

 

“Reports.”

 

Staring down at the map of Etheria beneath her spread hands, everything was starting to get underway. With a single finger, Octavia dragged one of the flags across the map a few inches before pushing herself from the table and turning to face Cyprian. Their narrowed eyes met, the tension in her body spiking momentarily. “Well?”

 

Hands came from behind his back and produced a data pad, his manicured tone reading from it without flaw. “We’ve learned that She-Ra and the Black Marks are no longer currently in Bright Moon. Received word that former Force Captains Catra and Scorpia arrived to one of the Plumeria refugee camps a couple days ago— our spies have been monitoring them. We only expected one of the officers of the Bright Moon Army to be there. They’re waiting for new orders, wanting to know if they should make a move.”

 

For a moment, the Commander’s eyes broke from her ‘subordinate’ to gaze back to the table with the map. Almost immediately she found the spot on the map representative of a settlement with the mark of a Division next to it. It was some ways from the border, and taking in the rest of the map, she was quick to devise a plan. “Yes. If their goals are what I believe they are, the more paranoid the Bright Moon leaders are about the defectors, the better. It’ll keep them off the board for longer; knock out two birds with a single stone.”

 

Reaching her hand out, she dragged the two Black Mark icons to the point of the refugee camp. “And the princesses?” Octavia questioned, the same hand now hovering over two more icons.

 

“Also in Plumeria,” the Lieutenant answered, almost automatically. “We don’t have details on what they’re doing. Reports suggest they’re in the Heart-Blossom city, but She-Ra is not with the Black Marks.”

 

The smooth motion of her fingers across the screen to the Plumeria capital made no sound, but Octavia hummed deeply in thought. “We need eyes on She-Ra… Any reports from ‘F’?”

 

“Yes. Target’s been acquired, they’ll be ready to move onto phase 2 soon. I’ve forwarded all reports to Lord Hordak. He seems pleased thus far, seeing what you’re planning.”

 

If only that felt like relief, but all the man’s words served to do was drive the stress up. Octavia felt her fingers flex involuntarily before she withdrew them from the table. “I assume you’ll handle giving the orders to the spies standing by?”

 

She didn’t see his momentary smirk. “You assume correctly. I understand your strategy, and I approve. As does Lord Hordak, but he doesn’t want to take chances. You manage the big picture, Commander, and I’ll deal with disrupting the traitors.”

 

“Hm.” Giving one last lingering look, her vision and thoughts settled on Dryl. “And our progress on the Dryl operation? Where do we stand on that?”

 

The officer seemed to swipe a few times before finding what he needed to answer, his face remaining passive and indifferent. “Projected completion is only a few weeks. I’d advise that we be ready to begin the assault by then. Every hour we spend in this preparation stage, the more likely somebody will catch on.”

 

Octavia did her best to reign in the urge to scowl. “Not if we keep them preoccupied with their suspicion of the Black Marks. Catra always was a loose canon. The Rebellion is not likely to tolerate her antics very well, especially while they’re watching her like hawks. No…”

 

Turning once more to the table, she beckoned the executive over. Out of her peripheral, she could see Cyprian eye her strategy map with critical callousness. She pressed a button to the side, and the scene changed. Different icons were in different locations, with arrows of movement direction and short notes— brief descriptions and time calculations. His brows rose a notch.

 

Then a wicked sneer began to spread across his lips and broke his mask of detachment. Showing through the cracks was his true self. “Well now… That’s quite a strategy you have… And this is if F  _ doesn’t _ succeed?”

 

“Yes,” she answered, devoid of emotion. His sneer got bigger, and she saw the vicious twinkle in his eyes.

 

“How decisive. I applaud you, Commander. Hordak will be pleased with your proactivity and resourcefulness. This will practically  _ amputate _ the Rebellion. Hopefully we’ll have all the expected countermeasures for these tactics… I’ve been keeping up with the progress of the technical advancement teams— also keeping on schedule.” It was almost disgusting how  _ gleeful _ he seemed to be at the idea of the devastation she had plotted out before them. Almost.

 

“I want the inventor watched closely, as well. I want  _ no _ surprises from her. You have some of our best on this objective, correct?”

 

“Correct.”

 

Octavia turned her head and gave the lieutenant a hard look. “If all goes according to this plan, I’ll have knocked out 4 key players and taken more than just Dryl. Make it happen, Cyprian, if that’s all.”

 

And then it was gone. That inner demon hiding beneath the face of a cold man, his voice once again even and tempered. “You assume correctly. I’ll deliver the orders, and your plans to Lord Hordak. He’ll be very interested in seeing them. Don’t stay up too late, Commander. You’ll need as much sleep as you can get in the coming days… Goodnight.”

 

Only when she heard the flap of the tent close and the footsteps fade away into the distant noise of the soldiers moving about the encampment did the Commander release a ragged breath.

 

Staring down at the two Black Mark icons at the refugee camp, Octavia furrowed her brows. They were fools to abandon the Horde. Catra especially should know exactly what’s coming.

 

The question is if she’ll figure it out in time. At least she’ll make it difficult, if nothing else.

 

Octavia tapped the screen of the map and watched the hologram vanish, plunging the tent into a dark only illuminated by lanterns.

* * *

 

It had to have been the 4th day in a row that Catra’s woken up before the sunrise. No matter how tired she is when she goes to sleep, she’s up before practically everyone else.

 

At least there were still stars to look at. There were no stars in the Fright Zone, only choking dark clouds and a burning sky. How could she have known how much beauty actually existed if she had never encountered the idea before? They don’t teach that in the Horde. Not anything remotely close— but there  _ were _ things one could appreciate.

 

The thrill of combat, for starters. Feeling the sweat drip while her muscles burned pleasantly as she circled her opponents like prey. The silent, telling body movements between them, between her and Adora. Smirking just before lunging forward. Chuckling sharply on the back end of a pant after narrowly avoiding a solid hit. They were speaking a whole  _ language, _ it felt like. Catra barely noticed the small smile growing on her face through her reminiscing.

 

After sparring, too. Replaying all the accomplishments in her own skill, how she noticed improvement and the rush of power in the constant movement. Hearing praise and giving it in turn while they relaxed and took their time with leaving. Even the criticisms felt empowering when it came from Adora— she knew there was no hidden meaning in her words. There rarely ever was.

 

During the sleeping hours, passively listening to the soft breathing and occasional irritating snore. It gave the space a bit of life, and was really soothing to know, at least she wasn’t by herself. Especially not with Adora there. More times than she can count, she’s woken in the middle of the night but went right back to sleep listening to her even breath.

 

Few other times did she ever feel a sense of belonging in the Fright Zone, hard to get comfortable when there was a shadow watching their every move. Oh, how hard Shadow Weaver tried to break her down and build her back up, just like she did with Adora. That witch probably hated her because she never gave in to her massive ego trip, and what Shadow Weaver couldn’t control, she wanted to destroy. Whether she meant to or not, she taught her how to gain the upper hand. It became natural to consider everything possible as an advantage against other people. That’s what she always tried to do— look for an advantage and never give anyone else one. Never let a weakness show and be exploited.

 

Thinking like that all the time had been exhausting. Shadow Weaver taught them to never trust anyone, that they could only rely on themselves and nobody else. Anything less was a sign of weakness. So much effort went into trying to live up to those standards… but they never applied around Adora. Maybe cause Adora  _ was _ her greatest weakness?

 

Catra sighed heavily, dropping her gaze from the sky to the ground. Almost absentmindedly, she picked up a thin, broken branch from the worn earth and pressed the tip into the dirt and dragged it across the surface.

 

She knew what she was drawing. She had ruined the old one after learning Adora had left her behind, after all. It still hurt. As much as she wanted to be over it, as much as she tells herself,  _ ‘I’m here, I’m with her again. We’re making things better,’ _ it still hurt. Even as she stared down at the simple recreations of their faces, smiling at one another, she knew that it could never go back to the way it was. She and Adora could try as hard as they want but it  _ can’t _ go back.

 

_ ‘...It can go forward though, right?’ _

 

The tip of the stick dug into the dirt just beside her drawing as she considered indulging the oncoming fantasy. Glancing to the east, the first bit of sunlight was starting to illuminate the sky. She still had some time to herself.

 

Letting out a soft, shaky breath, Catra lifted the branch and between the two faces, drew a heart.

 

Almost immediately, her face started to burn with instantaneous embarrassment, quickly convincing her to scribble it back out so that nobody would know it was ever there.

 

Adora wasn’t the same Adora that she was before. Not even close… but at the same time, it’s like she never changed— not truly. More than a little confusing, and wasn’t even close to a possibility until recently. Covering her mouth and perching herself on her elbows, Catra glared at the childish creation before her with confliction. She wasn’t stupid or naive, she knew just how deep her attachment ran.

 

Things were innocent at first, before anything changed. When Adora left, she didn’t bother reading into her heartbreak, she just tried to stomp the life out of it, but every time she did, it felt like she was trying to suffocate herself. Letting go wasn’t a concept she even considered. When she couldn’t kill those feelings, she tried to use them as a source of strength, but it ended up bringing her to this point, didn’t it?

 

By the time she had began to seriously think about defection, she had to resolve herself to the possible fate that she’d never be as close to Adora as she was. That didn’t matter to her though, as long as she was by her side again.

 

Like hell she’s gonna tell anybody  _ that _ though. Catra audibly scoffed at herself. She’s promised her friends to tell them about her demons and her grievances, but she gets to keep some things to herself. Some things are far too intimate and personal to entrust to somebody else.

 

Not that it was something she wasn’t already used to.

 

After another few minutes of reminiscing of how things used to be, Catra stood from where she sat on the ground and with a single foot, wiped away the drawing, just leaving a spot of disturbed dirt. Then, on impulse, she snapped the stick and tossed it to the side, leaving it forgotten and abandoned.

 

Looking to the breaking of dawn, hearing the slow but building climb of activity in the distance, she could almost hear the ticking of a timer in her head. Glancing behind her to the large, partially open tent that had a couple other soldiers sleeping alongside the Captain and Scorpia, she knew that one of them would be waking up soon.

 

Moments alone, by herself, sometimes felt dangerous. The sooner everyone woke up and picked up work again, the better. Catra had a preference for Marius to get up first, mostly because she  _ still _ hasn’t really talked to Scorpia about what happened the other day, in spite of her full intentions to.

 

Communication’s just… difficult for her. That felt like an excuse but it was the simple truth. It was hard to get over the little whispers in her head, telling her how pitiful she was to admit to weakness in Shadow Weaver’s voice.  _ ‘Shrieking hag.’ _ Some part of her was succeeding in making her stall until they could go back to Bright Moon, away from prying eyes and ears. She knew she’d feel far more comfortable there, and if  _ anyone _ were to overhear, Adora was acceptable.

 

Catra had a bad feeling though, having to squint her eyes as the sunlight finally pushed past the horizon line right into her field of vision. Instant headache leading just ahead of a wave of nausea, but she recovered quickly, turning around.

 

Staring at her newly formed shadow, there was a nagging feeling in the back of her head. It was telling her that she might not have a choice to wait that long. Maybe she should start trusting her intuition more.

 

If she hadn’t heard the groggy yawn behind her, Catra might’ve jumped at the sudden call of her name as Scorpia peeked out of the tent. Concern flashed over her face before the curiosity wiped it away as she spoke, “You’re up early again. Should I be worried?”

 

The feeling creeped away, leaving only faint shivers behind as she sighed. “No. I just don’t like being here.”

 

Scorpia stopped beside her, looking over her to admire the sunrise. “I feel bad being here too, but I feel better knowing that I’m doing something to help, instead of hurt. Don’t you?”

 

There wasn’t an immediate answer, and it was preceded with a soft groan. “I don’t know how I feel. This isn’t exactly what I pictured our defection to look like.”

 

“Didn’t you want to make amends?”

 

“Yeah. With  _ Adora. _ If that means I gotta be here, then I’ll do it. She’s the only one I’m trying to please.” Surprisingly, she chuckled, but in a way that suggested she was critical of what she just said, which only made Catra glare up at her. “What is it?”

 

“Sorry, but I think I can tell when you’re not being completely truthful,” Scorpia answered, raising an eyebrow as she met her friend’s gaze and held it.

 

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Adora wants you to  _ care _ about more than just the two of you. She was so hurt by what she saw the Horde doing, that she was willing to leave behind everything she knew to do something about it. There was nothing you could have done to convince her to go back, cause it’d mean she’d have to kill a part of herself.”

 

The memory surged upwards.

 

_ ‘Adora, no. If you were willing to ditch me for the Rebellion—no, to do what’s right— how do you expect me to accept you throwing it away now, after coming so far? Are you fucking joking? Listen, I know that I’ve made a real fucking mess of myself. I know that even if I get the chance you’re fighting for, that it may not even pay off in the end. You already… Everything I’ve gone through would mean nothing to me if you pick me and let the world—’ _

 

_ '—burn, sacrificing everything you believe in.’ _ she finished, silently.

 

Catra hated when these idiots were right. Her fists clenched tightly, but she put mental effort into not making it  _ too _ tight. Scorpia couldn’t see her eyes as she dropped her head just a bit, enough to hide beneath the shadow. “I would sooner leave her life forever than let her do that…” came her small voice. Her hands came up to rub upwards, dragging her face with it till her fingers reached her hair and she stopped behind her head. It was too early to deal with these kinds of emotions. 

 

So they stood silently for a while. It wasn’t a pressing silence, Scorpia had little issue being patient, and soon it was rewarded. “...It’s Shadow Weaver. It’s  _ always _ Shadow Weaver. I feel like she’s been  _ burned _ into my brain. Every time I do something I wasn’t conditioned to do, I hear her  _ screaming _ in my head. She makes me doubt just about every decision I make and I don’t know how to make her  _ shut up. _ ”

 

She didn’t need to look up to know exactly the look on Scorpia’s face, her gaze was content to stare at the spot of disturbed dirt from earlier, unable to help but remember both versions in her mind’s eye. “...I was hoping to have Adora’s help, and it just feels like I’ve been set up for failure. The past few days, I’ve just been trying to keep my head numb, and I was planning on doing that until we got back to Bright Moon.”

 

Silence overtook the conversation again as Scorpia processed the confession, and her thoughts about it. “Are you thinking that Adora is going through something similar? You both had it rough with Shadow Weaver. You’re hoping she’ll understand?”

 

Catra breathed in slowly. “Not exactly. I know it wouldn’t be the same, but I know Shadow Weaver and I  _ know _ Adora. She didn’t get out of there unscathed. So, yeah, I’m hoping she’ll understand. It’s harder when people just don’t  _ get it _ . It’s… isolating.”

 

Despite her desire to, Scorpia knew better than to reach out to comfort her. Not now, not with something so serious. With Catra, sometimes it’s better to just let her talk. So, she listened as her thoughts brewed.

 

It was absentmindedly, but Catra’s eyes panned around the area quickly— force of habit. What she looked over made her double-take back to it, and her blood chilled.  _ ‘I should’ve known.’ _ For once, her paranoia was justified. “...And I don’t feel safe here.”

 

That warranted further inquiry. “What do you mean?”

 

Meeting her eyes, the hardness in them, something was wrong. Scorpia’s face twisted into confusion as her friend pierced her with that tense gaze. Catra’s voice took on a weird tone, a specific one that she uses rarely, “We’re defectors… isn’t it natural to feel exposed among the army that was your enemy not too long ago?” she questioned. “Who knows who could be watching us. How do we know it’s just Captain Optimistic?”

 

Then it clicked, and her face relaxed. “Ah, right,” Scorpia replied with a similar tone, but one that emphasized her apparent naivety. “I don’t know, I guess the Queen would want to be careful with us, but I am glad to have some new friends. There’s that, at least, right?”

 

_ ‘What an opportunist.' _  Smirking and flashing a bit of teeth, Catra gave a playful scoff. “Sure, I guess. Let’s just wake the Captain up. I’m getting restless.”

 

When Catra glanced over again, she saw them again— a hooded figure that she knew was watching. Hopefully she stole the advantage.

 

Now to figure out how to warn Marius without setting off the operation early.

* * *

 

 

Again.

 

She saw them  _ again. _ In the Horde, they’re taught that in war: once is suspicious, twice is a potential risk. From there, the goal is to get as much information as possible before three becomes a problem.

 

Set up bait. Catra, after helping get a wall frame pushed upright and mounted to the foundation, decided to make use of the pause to take a very short break. Sweat soaked her, the sun deciding to be a little harsher that day, and she had her hair pulled back so it wasn’t in the way. A few feet away from the work area, she lowered herself down to the ground in a crouch and took deep breaths.

 

Marius spotted her quickly and moved to sit next to her, just as she knew he would. “You alright, Catra?” he asked, his heart on his arm, as always.

 

“I guess.” She still had the feeling they were being watched, she’d have to watch her words. “Why are we even here? Aren’t you guys supposed to fighting with the Horde? You  _ are _ soldiers.”

 

The question seemed to seriously intrigue him, if not outright surprised him. Thankfully, she knew he had a sense of subtly. “Well, outside of the Fright Zone, we care about more than just war. We, as soldiers, have a duty to the people. That’s why we fight for them, and that’s why we help them rebuild their homes, among other things.”

 

“That, and your Queen needed someplace to send us that would make sense for her ulterior motive— guilt trip the fuck out of me and Scorpia. Don’t even pretend that  _ isn’t _ what she’s after. It’s  _ Adora _ that’d look at this as some kind of… learning experience.” Felt a little nice to be able to make that callout in the open, Catra had to admit, if silently. Guess she was also an opportunist. “We can’t be trusted to actually fight with you, cause we might turn on you.”

 

“Well, are you?”

 

“Dunno what good it would do, cause we weren’t sent here by Hordak— that’s for damn sure. We’re on the Horde’s highest hit-list. There’s even  _ rewards _ for bringing in a Black Mark.”

 

If he wasn’t intrigued before, she’s definitely sunk her claws into Marius’ attention now. “Black Mark?”

 

“Nobodies who defect are just put on a public traitor list. I’m not exactly a ‘nobody.’ I  _ actually _ defected, making me a huge problem for Hordak, whether your leaders believe that or not. If they’re smart, though, they shouldn’t  _ only _ prepare for the chance I’m a big liar. None of our officers are so blind as to only see things from one side— that gives you a giant blind spot in whatever plans you make, and the Horde  _ will _ exploit it,” Catra explained, almost with complete detachment. “But, why should anybody listen to me? I’ll just lead you all into a trap and get your armies slaughtered, after all. Just… playing cat-and-mouse.”

 

Looking over and holding eye contact, she  _ prayed _ that the Captain would catch on. Marius held to his confusion, pressing himself to pick out all her hidden meanings and implications and trying to understand. When it was too long— only a few moments— she raised a brow. “Trying to figure out if I’m a  _ really _ good liar or if I’m telling the truth?”

 

She didn’t see it click in his head as he smiled. “Of course I know you’re telling the truth. I just noticed you said ‘ _ our _ officers’ when referring to the Horde.”

 

“Really?  _ That’s _ what stood out to you?” Catra rolled her eyes. “Maybe try focusing on the  _ little _ picture, not the big one. There’s a puzzle to be solved and more often than we realize, we’re looking at the wrong things,” she said, rather nonchalantly as she rose to her feet and glanced down at him.

 

The look he gave her went quickly from utter confusion to an almost frightened realization. Then it hit her, too. She felt bad for Marius, cause now he understands that  _ his _ people are gonna get hurt because she’s there. This is a war, and she’s a key player in it, whether she likes it or not. The same dreadful realization washed over her and she gave him a sympathetic look before turning away and walking back over to the construction.

 

Thinking back, she really had no idea just how deep in this war she’d end up. Things really  _ did _ change when Adora became She-Ra. Guilty by association— it was only being personal friends with the legendary ‘Princess of Power’ that gave her any reason to draw Hordak’s attention. Sheer dumb luck her only friend was somebody so important, but that’s where it stops being luck. That’s where it starts being  _ Catra’s _ own decisions, and she can’t blame that on anyone but herself.

 

This must be what Angella meant when she wanted them to see the consequences of their actions. Catra smiled sadly to herself,  _ ‘No matter where I go, I always get into trouble.’ _ That ‘Black Mark’ felt like a physical tension, on her back like a target. No one in the Rebellion, not even Adora, really know what the Horde is like— what they do on a regular basis, how they operate, what secrets they keep. No one knows just how much danger they’re all in.

 

None of them are safe.

 

 

...

 

Their work went undisturbed for another few hours before the call for a meal break. Scorpia found her before anyone else did.

 

Ending her short jog next to Catra, she took a couple breaths before speaking. “Saw you talking to Marius earlier. Everything alright?”

 

“Yup. Ended up giving him a little bit of insight.”

 

An eyebrow rose in curiosity. “I saw a pretty haunted look on his face, too…”

 

Her gaze dropped as they started walking in the general direction they knew Marius was. “Yeah. I realized something myself, but we can talk later.”

 

Approaching them with an unreadable expression was the Captain they were looking for. Once he looked up and saw them, he slowed to a stop until they reached him. “You two ready to grab some food?”

 

“Not a big fan of the crowds, but we probably should,” Catra said, looking right into his eyes. He seemed to get a little unnerved by it, but he didn’t say anything. All he did then was turn and gesture for them to follow.

 

Now was the time for questions, and planning.

 

It was only a few minutes of walking before they got to the food line. Very quickly they were swallowed by the mass of people already there, and Catra made sure the other two were closeby her.

 

But she did pull Marius a little closer by the sleeve and went straight to the point. “Horde spies are here. We need to learn more, and quickly.”

 

Thankfully, she wasn’t met with absolute shock. Looks like he was as smart as she was hoping, and figured it out on his own. “And you’re sure?”

 

“Me and Scorpia are being watched, even right now. We don’t know if they have something that can hear us from long distances, so this crowd is all we have to speak freely. You need to tell your boss to do a rank sweep, and to be discreet with it.”

 

“I’m—” Marius stopped, accidentally shoved by the crowd and caught by Scorpia. They smiled at one another only a short moment. “Thank you— I’m supposed to be with you two at all times. We can’t risk them being suspicious, right?” Briefly looking away, the Captain stood on his toes for a couple seconds to look over the heads of the refugees and check on how close they are. “I’ve got a plan, but it’s based on assumptions. I can get us on supply checks— it’ll give us reason to be around the stockpiles. Would the Horde target things like that?”

 

“In a heartbeat,” Catra answered instantly. “ _ Especially _ if they can manage to frame it on us. They’d also hit the soldiers— cause some of the spies might  _ be _ a Rebellion soldier. The closer to your boss, the worse off we’re gonna be. They’re not scared of hitting civilian centers, either. One of those, and likely multiple sites.”

 

Time was quickly running out, they were near the front of the line. “You guys got a special SOS code, right?” Catra asked. The Captain nodded. “Use it. Get your boss here. I know she’ll be  _ immediately _ suspicious and show up with lockdown protocols, thinking it’s us that’s the problem. It’s the only thing that could cause doubts about our intentions in a Horde report. We have to convince her that she can’t take the risk that I’m lying, cause then people will get hurt.”

 

“Hello Captain!” said the volunteer in front of them, already setting bowls down. Their time was up. “Another hard day at work?” she asked, smiling as she filled them with warm meat stew.

 

Marius did a double-take, looking at Catra with worry before hiding it behind his typical outward friendliness. “You bet, but we’re making a lot of progress, so it’s all worth it.”

 

“Thank you for your service and help!” she said as she handed the three of them their meals.

 

Leaving the line, they sat down away from the road traffic in a loose circle. When Catra met the Captain’s eyes once again, she saw the fear— and the resolve.

 

Even though he’s seen the battlefield and probably the sites of destruction the Horde’s left in its wake, she can’t help but worry about his emotional resilience. It’s one thing to go into a battle knowing it’s a battle, it’s another to think that the people here were safe and watch the destruction unfold all around him.

 

That kind of helplessness sticks.

* * *

 

Swallowing down the sudden anxiety, Catra stood fast against the cold, vicious glare by the Commander as the trio were lead up to her tent by another soldier. She resisted the urge to glare back, knowing that the woman was trying to inspire fear in her.

 

Too bad she’s stared down worse than Aurelia.

 

Once they were inside the tent and the flap closed, their escort walked over to a table put to the side and pressed on a device— a listening jammer, most likely. Glancing around, it was hard to  _ not _ notice 3 other soldiers who were already in the tent, and were armed, weapons ready but not yet raised. Then, she spoke, eyes traveling to Marius. “You better tell me what’s going on, Captain.”

 

His response wasn’t immediate, looking over to Catra as if asking for permission. She just met his eyes till he turned back. “Commander, we have reason to believe that there are Horde spies in this camp.”

 

Nobody missed the way the officer’s face started to twist in rage before she smoothed it into a minor scowl, glancing momentarily to Catra. “If you tell me that  _ they _ told you, Captain…” her strained voice came, despite clear efforts to mitigate the effect.

 

Marius only dug in at that, his face taking a resolute manner. “And why would that be bad intel? We both know how big a deal these two are in the war, we know that if they are telling the truth, then the Horde will make effort to silence them. They’re loose ends to Hordak.”

 

“I’m well aware of their position in the Horde, which is  _ exactly _ why we have to take precautions, should they be lying.” She didn’t seem to be planning on backing down, which visibly annoyed the Captain.

 

“And how about if they’re telling the truth, and that there  _ are _ spies here and that there  _ are _ plans in motion to silence them. Not only do we have orders to watch them, but we can’t very well let them be  _ killed. _ Catra says that the Horde is vicious and isn’t afraid to do any kind of horror, can we afford to take the chance when innocent lives are on the line?”

 

That seemed to do something. Aurelia’s eyes widened just the slightest bit, but enough to signal to them that she hadn’t thought of that. She didn’t get the chance to make a comment on that before Marius continued. “Horde officers are trained to exploit every angle, every possible weakness. To ignore other sides to a situation is to create a blind spot— one the Horde will undoubtedly find. Commander, we need to perform a full rank sweep and we need to do it in a way that won’t alert these possible spies. I also volunteer with providing viable cause for Catra and Scorpia to help sniff out any sabotage by means of doing the next rounds of supply checks.”

 

Brows furrowing, Aurelia broke eye contact for the first time to peer down as her hand rose to hold her chin, dropping into thought. “Stockpiles are heavily monitored, only certain people have clearance to them. Only someone of high enough rank can follow them in… Captain. You better be onto something and you better be  _ damn _ sure this isn’t a trap.”

 

“That’s not the only thing you need to worry about,” came Catra’s voice. Attention quickly jumped to her. “Yeah, the Horde would target resources, but more often than not, that’s just not good enough. Hit guard posts— cripple the stationed military before a siege.”

 

“If there were a Horde assault in the works, we would have had reports from the fronts about it. We’re too deep in Plumeria for them to effectively and successfully launch an attack, even  _ if _ we take surprise losses,” Aurelia interjected, but whether it was to establish superiority or to simply push the strategy back and forth is uncertain.

 

Regardless, her eyes bore into Catra, waiting for what she says next. “When the Horde wants to hit morale, they target civilians. Deep in enemy lines like this, that’s not a tactic they use often. Not unless they have a specific reason to. There’s an important Rebellion Commander here, why wouldn’t they go in and try to undermine your competency?”

 

The scowl grew, signalling offense, but her eyes narrowed and her voice gained an edge. “I thought they were following  _ you. _ ”

 

Catra scoffed. “You’re smarter than that. Everyone in the Horde is an opportunist. Somebody like me in the same place as somebody like you? They’re probably trying to frame the whole thing on me, on top of it.”

 

“Oh, yes, cause you ‘defected,’ right?” she said, skepticism obvious. “And can you prove that this  _ isn’t _ a distraction for something else?”

 

It was Catra’s turn to scowl. “I don’t think you can afford to take that chance, cause if there are explosions in the medical tents in the middle of the night, I’m not the only one who’s on the chopping block.”

 

A look of horror passed over the Commander at the suggestion of casualties. Begrudgingly, she relented. “Fine. I’ll initiate a rank sweep, as well as other countermeasures. Captain, you have permission to perform the next supply check. If you find  _ anything, _ you get that intel back to me ASAP.”

 

Practically instinct, Marius straightened and saluted. “Yes, ser.”

 

The two women still stared one another down, but she could see it in Aurelia’s eyes. Her fear and worry, her prayers that she was wrong. That the refugees weren’t in danger.

 

Most likely, they are. What  _ Catra’s _ worrying about is if framing her for a sneak attack is the  _ actual _ plan.

* * *

 

“Okay, this’ll be the last one we search before we have to call it a night. There’s only a few more stockpiles left, hopefully they’re clean, too,” Marius said as the three of them began spreading out in the building.

 

They’ve searched top to bottom, every imaginable space in every stockpile they’ve been to in the past 30-something hours and haven’t yet found  _ a thing. _ To say Catra was frustrated would be an understatement, and not just frustrated either, but anxious. If they didn’t find  _ anything, _ and if Aurelia didn’t find anything… She might’ve stabbed herself in the foot with this.

 

Still, though, if she didn’t say  _ anything _ and something  _ did _ happen, that’d be worse.

 

Hopefully they’ll find something soon, and be able to stop it.

 

Eventually, Catra found herself by food preservatives and packaged rations. Only a few minutes after she began looking through it, there was a small box that stood out to her.

 

On it, written by hand, said the words ‘Food Line 8,’ but that’s not what caught her attention. There was much smaller writing along the bottom edge. A sudden burst of horror shot through her as she recognized the scribbling.

 

It was Horde code, with a timestamp and a single word, ‘Poison.’

 

In a burst of speed, she shoved her hands between the box flaps and tore it open. Inside were basic, inconspicuous canisters labeled ‘nutrient booster.’ Anyone could grab it, not knowing any better, and start pouring it into the food.  _ ‘Did this come with the soldiers?’ _

 

Jumping to her feet, Catra ran back in the direction she had come from, calling out, “Marius!”

 

Even more quickly than she had, she heard the swift approach of footsteps and soon enough, the Captain rounded a corner into sight— Scorpia wasn’t far behind. The worry was evident on his face. “You find something?”

 

“There’s poison being sent to the food lines labeled as something else in packaged boxes.”

 

Terror. For the first time since meeting him, she saw terror in the Captain’s eyes. “Poison?! How? Every supply convoy is handled by the collective military!”

 

“Worry about that _second_. Which food lines does this place supply?” Catra said, her tone commanding and even.

 

“Lines 7, 8 and 11.”

 

“Well, 8 is the only one still here. Me and Scorpia can look for it at the lines, you  _ haul ass _ and get every single one shut down and searched.”

 

Marius looked at her, stunned. “I have orders, damn it! I can’t—”

 

Cutting him off, Catra grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him closer, glaring up at him. “ _ Fuck _ your orders. I’m not going down for this and I can’t face Adora again if these people start dropping like flies. Either you run, or we’re all screwed.” Fire burned in her words and she shoved him backwards.

 

Confliction kept him frozen only for a moment before he nodded, turned and bolted out the exit.

 

Looking to each other, Catra and Scorpia shared the same anxious look and nodded before they too split into different directions.

 

_ ‘Please don’t let this bite me in the ass,’ _ Catra thought to herself as she darted through the scattered crowds. It wasn’t quite time for the late meal call, and that knowledge felt like the falling sand trying to bury her.

 

What kind of poison they were dealing with didn’t matter; people will either start dropping dead or slowly get sick and pass it on— either one would send the camp into a terrified panic. She tried not to think about the other lines already picking up their ‘nutrient boosters.’ If Marius is fast enough, they’ll all be shut down and torn inside out by the searching soldiers before anyone eats it.

 

People will go hungry for a night, but that’s only an inconvenience in comparison.

 

Her dead sprint had started to take a toll on her legs, now burning with effort, but finally seeing the wide, open building made the pain a little more bearable. She slowed down only some and once she reached the counter, simply jumped over it.

 

Doing that startled the volunteer staff, but she could smell the food being cooked now. “Hey! What are you doing?!” shouted one of the men, quickly approaching.

 

Then she heard metal clatter against the ground and a surprised shriek from deeper within. Catra completely ignored everybody else and darted inside just in time to spot the back-end of someone running  _ outside _ . A quick glance to the ground and she saw the same kind of box, this time labeled ‘Food Line 7,’ and still unopened.

 

She didn’t even think about moving and chasing until she was already out that same door.

 

Just as she had caught sight of them again, they turned a corner. With renewed energy and motivation, Catra was once again dashing forward as fast as she could.

 

It wasn’t hard to miss the rushing form of someone who was practically shoving people out of the way as they ran. She did a lot better at avoiding collision with the bystanders, but didn’t really start to catch up until they twisted into a narrow alley and had to hop over a fence. An obstacle not even worth mentioning to Catra, seeing as she easily kicked off the side of the building and use the top bar to leap over the gap between her and the spy.

 

Not enough of the gap to reach and grab them, though. “Stop fucking running!” she shouted, starting to become frustrated.

 

Whoever this was, though, they were making a big mistake staying in the narrower paths. Catra wasn’t slowed at all by all the sharp turns. However, she didn’t expect them to run into a windowless building and slam a heavy door.

 

Unfortunately for them, Catra was crashing against the door before it could be locked and her strength obviously outweighed the other’s, leaving her standing over a very scared looking man. Sweating, trembling, and holding his head protectively while curled on the ground and whimpering.

 

“Don’t hurt him! Please!” came the call from someone else in the room. Looking up, panting heavily, the last thing she expected to see was a small group of refugees chained to the floor.

 

Confusion hit her head with an almost physical force. “What the fuck is going on?!” This wasn’t supposed to be what she found. Catra’s anxiety was rising by the second.

 

“Please, we’re just doing what we’re told! Don’t kill our families!” begged another man, again.

 

Then, her blood ran as cold as ice.  _ ‘Of course they’d have fucking hostages.’ _ Catra didn’t even notice her fists clench. “Who has them?”

 

Now  _ he _ looked confused. “Y-you aren’t a soldier?”

 

_ ‘Shit.’ _ “Loaded question.  _ Soldiers _ are keeping them captive?” 

 

The man nodded. “They said either we comply, or they’d kill  _ everyone. _ We had no choice—”

 

“Shut up! Stop telling her shit!” shouted a woman. “That idiot brought her here and now they’re probably going to kill the others!”

 

“T-t-they told me to!” Attention fell back to the guy shaking and crying on the ground. “They told me to bring her here!” He pointed to the wall behind her without saying anything else.

 

So Catra turned around, and instantly saw what the Horde wanted her to see.  _ ‘Oh no.’ _ Again, hand-written on the wall in code, read the message: ‘You failed the puzzle.’ Beneath it was a thin, metal table with a small, ornate box on it.

 

_ ‘Aurelia was right. This was a trap.’ _ Suddenly, a great burning fury flared in her chest as she grabbed the guy on the ground by the front of his shirt and held him suspended beneath her. “What did they tell you to do?” she growled.

 

“T-t-they took me and s-someone with special access, I-I was given a box and told to b-bring it to the food line. S-said if n-no one showed up, put the c-c-contents of the box into the st-stew,” he stuttered, voice quivering with fear.

 

And if someone  _ did _ show up, lead them back to… Catra’s eyes flung open and she immediately let the guy drop to the floor with a hard thunk. “FUCK!!” she screamed, hands coming up and pulling at her hair.  _ ‘I’m a fucking idiot!! I fell right for it! It was all a bait!’ _

 

Turning to the dusty table, Catra snatched the box and nearly tore the top off. It was a metal key, probably the one to the chains holding the refugees to the ground. Did the Horde not need these people anymore? Grabbing the keys, she tossed it to the unfortunate prisoners without a word. She didn’t have time to dawdle there any longer— they’ve been tricked.

 

But just as she started to run out the door, the sky red with the falling sunset, she heard the first rumble in the distance. Then another, and another.

 

Catra watched in horror as pitch black smoke started to rise from several spots along the roof line and start to choke the emerging stars. Only moments after the fourth explosion did a siren start going off, but she barely heard it over the deafening sound of her own silence and helplessness.

 

She’s been outplayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you guys for your patience with me. I'm trying really hard to get myself writing more but there's been some big changes lately that I'm trying to adjust to— like starting HRT. I'm on my third week. I still have some outlines for the next couple chapters and I am eager to get to them, but it's one thing to plan for something and another to reach a point and just follow the flow of the writing. Since I was writing so much this week, I really wanted to have it finished by today and I had to spend the early part of today to actually finish writing and I was only able to go over it a couple of times to make revision edits. Hopefully it's still up to standard!
> 
> I can't guarantee an update *next* Sunday— I'm definitely gonna try— but I am aiming for the Sunday after that. I'm trying to establish routine in my every day life, and creative writing, in any way, is on my daily to-do list.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!!


	9. Powers of the Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Explosions have wrecked the refugee camp where Catra and Scorpia were sent to help aid the relief efforts, and despite all efforts on her part to stop the catastrophe from happening, Catra failed. Things were already fairly difficult for her as it was as is, but this is icing on a shit cake and it stands to reason it's only going to get worse. Elsewhere, Adora, Glimmer and Bow formed a plan with Princess Perfuma on how to heal the frostbitten Whispering Woods. The secret being: the source of magic comes from the Heart-Blossom runestone. They have a crunching time limit to plant Perfuma's 'cure' and with no 100% guarantee it'll work. Can they do it?
> 
> Warnings/Heads-Up: *Moderately* graphic descriptions involving death and murder, high tension emotions

Unfortunately, while transforming into a giant and incredibly beefy warrior princess did wonders for her physical fatigue, it did nothing for Adora’s mental exhaustion.

 

The Heart Flower thrummed softly against her torso, her left arm wrapped around it with her hand holding its bottom side. It felt so light— it was always surreal to go from having difficulty holding her sword with a single hand to being able to wield it as if she was holding a really long dagger instead. The flower itself went from being something she had to carry with both hands to where it was then, as she jogged.

 

There were still the other drawbacks from going at a force marching pace from Plumeria all the way back to the Whispering Woods. Max 6 hours of sleep per 24-hour cycle for about 3 days. It had been Glimmer’s idea, almost as if she was personally blaming herself for not being able to do anything to save the woods during the assault on Bright Moon.

 

Adora slammed her foot down on the memory threatening to surge upwards. She wanted to think about  _ anything _ else. With the looming pressure to hurry and get the flowers planted, time ticking away, she didn’t need the stress of remembering old pain.

 

_ ‘On that note, hopefully I don’t find that damn temple again,’ _ came a thought, which she put arguably more effort into not thinking about.  _ ‘Okay.  _ Almost  _ anything else…’ _

 

She sighed, almost wishing that She-Ra had her own personality so that she— Adora— could turn off her mind for awhile and give herself a break. Or had the power to just push distractions out of her head and focus on her objective.

 

Then, she looked up and swallowed her agonized groan as the foliage fell way to the clearing with a large, sealed door to the First One’s temple. Almost as if just  _ thinking _ of it ended up bringing her  _ to _ it. Adora didn’t notice that she had stopped once she stepped into the clearing.

 

It not only looked different, but  _ felt _ different. The first couple times, it had looked so mystical and curious. She couldn’t help the innate desire to learn more, to open the mystery. The whole of the Whispering Woods added to the sense of magic— magic that hummed within her even then.

 

But it wasn’t like that anymore. Adora wondered, taking in the sight of the frosted door looking old and ruined, framed by the frozen and withered plants and giving it a bitter sense of abandonment. She wondered, then, if the door would even open if she tried.

 

After all, Light Hope wasn’t there anymore.

 

Her hand tightened almost on reflex around the grip of her sword at the thought. Seeing her face in her mind’s eye triggered a pulse of irritation, and she hadn’t even notice the way her face twisted into a scowl.

 

Adora remembered the last time she spoke to Light Hope… At the time, it had seemed random and uncalled for, but she was calling out in her dreams, beckoning her to the temple. She almost didn’t go, afraid that she’d try to trap her within it again, but her own gut swayed her in that direction in the end. She remembered how she felt when she had found the door like this the first time…

 

***

 

_ Clutching her sword tightly, Adora felt the sudden anxiety reach up around her throat and her stomach flip uncomfortably. Seeing the woods like this, lifeless and brittle, hurt her. The memories of trying to comfort Glimmer after the assault at the forefront of her mind, her wails of grief echoing in her head. It felt like she was mourning a close friend, there was little she could do to console her. _

 

_ It took every fibre of her being to  _ not _ hop into her outrage with Catra’s actions. With Entrapta’s, even, seeing as she was the one responsible for this problem, specifically! Whatever it was that they were trying to achieve, if this destruction was the result… She swallowed down the anger. _

 

_ “Eternia,” she said coldly and waited for the door to slowly slide open all the way before stepping inside. The harsh grinding sound reverberated through the quiet atmosphere and sickeningly disturbed what little peace it still had. _

 

_ Her footsteps were soft, but still felt like they were bouncing off the walls. It was almost as if she was walking into a completely different place, given the scene outside. The silence was crushing and isolating. As if, at any second, a monster might pop out from the shadows. _

 

_ “Adora,” Light Hope said, just before appearing in front of her console just as she had gotten to the wide, open room. _

 

_ She wasn’t the only one who jumped in her skin, startled by the sudden appearance. As if drawn magnetically, Adora’s eyes flew past the hooded hologram to land on Catra. She hated that the first thing she felt was annoyance—  _ ‘What the fuck is  _ she _ doing here?’  _ her own voice said, in her head. Whatever it was that she was here for, it didn’t seem like she expected company. Catra was holding onto a metal bar, kneeling next to the console. _

 

_ “Adora?! What are you—” Catra started to say, rising straight to her feet, quickly wiping her shock away to mirror her own frustration. _

 

_ “Adora, you must listen to me and heed my words,” Light Hope started, cutting Catra off. “You must heed my warnings. You must not allow the Horde to continue their research of technology not meant for them, or more planetary destabilization will occur.” _

 

_ Pinching the bridge of her nose, Adora took a controlled breath in. “I’m going to stop the Horde—” Eyes went back to Catra. “What are  _ you _ doing here, is the greater concern.” _

 

_ Vanishing for only a moment, Light Hope reemerged right in front of Adora, startling her yet again and prompting a hostile expression. “Adora. If you hope to defeat the Horde, you must be capable of making sacrifices. Your refusal of your destiny has forced me to recalculate how to express my warnings.” She turned, and gestured to Catra directly, regarding her for the first time. “If you do not let go of your biases, you will be faced with impossible decisions to make, and have to sacrifice even more as a result. Many will die, and your fallen friend will be the one responsible.” _

 

_ That caught both of their attentions, the two of them sharing an equally shocked look. Light Hope didn’t let up. “She is on the path to corrupting the runestones and destroying Etheria.” _

 

_ “Hey! Wait a—” Catra tried to interject. _

 

_ “Catra is the key to Hordak achieving his ambitions. If you do not stop her, if you do not kill her, everyone you care about will die. You may now be thinking that I am exaggerating; that I am lying to you, but I am not. What Catra desires most is validation— she is desperate for it. This desperation clouds her morals, decays her empathy and corrupts her with the idea of ‘validation through power.’” _

 

_ There was a look of horror on her face, and Adora couldn’t help but feel horror at hearing this herself. “Where the fuck do you get—” _

 

_ “Power is attained through Hordak, so she must do whatever Hordak wants in order to feel validation. Hordak desires the world, and will destroy Etheria if he cannot have it. Catra is too far gone. She will do anything Hordak wants, without question. She has already done things Hordak had told her to do, without question. Catra will destroy Etheria if it gives her power in the Horde. This is all she cares about. This is all she  _ wants  _ to care about. Even now, she acts in accordance to Hordak’s wishes— to steal knowledge and abuse it.” _

 

_ “Listen, bitch—!” Yet again, Catra is cut off, but this time, Light Hope appears before  _ her.

 

_ “Do not try to deny it. I have seen your memories. I have seen your thoughts and your feelings and I have calculated the trajectory of your spiral downwards. You are angry with this assessment because you know it is true. You know what path you are on, and you have no plans of changing. You are content in your grief with Adora. You are using your grief to reinforce this truth. If you cannot receive validation through Adora, you are content to let her go and seek it elsewhere— through power, for you have only ever known powerlessness. You know this is true.” _

 

_ Dumbfounded, the both of them were. Adora couldn’t stand how callously this… whatever she was! How callously she was tearing at Catra. Things she had always known were sensitive were being taken out of context and chucked right back at her. _

 

_ Light Hope was making it sound like Catra was making mistakes her whole life. Anger blocked her words in her throat and made her vision start going red when she realized that Shadow Weaver had done essentially the same exact thing all the way up to the point where Catra replaced her in rank. Light Hope continued her onslaught as that rage quickly boiled. Catra seemed to be feeling the same. _

 

_ “You are angry. You desire to lash out. This is consistent. Validation through power often creates egotism. You do not appreciate the idea of losing yourself to your ego but you know that it’s exactly what’s happened.” Light Hope went back to appearing in the middle of the room, as the grooves in the walls began to light up. “You are both angry. This is expected. I will show you, then. I will show you what happens if you cannot make sacrifices. I will show you what waits for you.” _

 

_ Before she even became aware of it, the room of the temple faded and the scene was replaced with… a battlefield. _

 

_ Not just a battlefield, either. It was impossible to look at the ruins around her and know it was anything except the temple, blown up. The Whispering Woods were… gone. Burned to ash or in the process of, in the distance. _

 

_ Staring her down from across the way was Catra, armored and wearing the emblem of a Force Commander. The snarling smile that was on her scarred face was… nightmarish. In one hand was a long wicked spear that followed the length of her arm, and in the other, an electric whip that crackled and snapped as it was dragged across the ground. _

 

_ They began to circle one another slowly— a dance that they’ve danced into oblivion, and oblivion will be what one of them find at the end of this final dance. _

 

_ “Poor, poor Adora. Little, lonesome Adora. Guess the tables really turned, didn’t they?” Catra said, voice deep and smooth, dripping with potent venom. “I had made  _ such _ a good decision when I left you for dead, in this very place, so long ago. I’ve got to admit— I’ve  _ loved _ watching you twist and panic and scramble around to hold onto everything that mattered to you. Obviously it didn’t really  _ ever  _ matter, cause in the end, it’s I who has everything and it’s  _ you _ who has  _ nothing. _ ” _

 

_ All Adora could do was scowl and glare, silently, as the tips of their weapons hovered just above the ground. Everything she had felt, every spark of love and life that had been in her heart was dead and cold. All she had now was hate. All she could think about was how much of an idiot she had been, but at least this hellish war was near its end. Her last obstacle was right in front of her. _

 

_ Catra chuckled malevolently. “I almost miss your self-righteousness. Your incessant preaching. Guess losing Sparkles really, finally, did you in. If only I missed your voice, y’know? At least I’ll get to hear it once I have you screaming. Ooh, that makes me so fucking  _ excited. _ It’s about time I got around to this fight!” She was disgustingly gleeful at the concept. “How do you prefer to die? With my blade in your heart, watching the blood flow and splutter out of your mouth and licking it from your dying lips? My whip around your throat, so that I can watch the panic and struggle in your eyes before the life in them finally goes out? Or maybe I’ll make you kill yourself, after breaking your mind and will under the crushing weight of your own colossal failure.” _

 

_ “Keep talking, Huntress. Just keep running your mouth. All you’re doing is making your end that much worse and more painful.” _

 

_ That disgusting grin broke as wide as it could, smiling ear to ear and laughing like she had just carved her way through a platoon of soldiers and took the time to  _ really _ make sure they were dead. “That’s right! Doesn’t it feel so good to hate? To feel that burning rage in your heart where your love used to be? It’s about time you felt that— felt like how I felt.” _

 

_ Then it dropped, the very anger she was just taunting her with breaking through the bloodlust as she raised the spear and pointed it at her. “I was the first one you failed to save, remember? Remember how you  _ abandoned _ me? The things you said and did before the realization came too late? I  _ loved _ watching you break over and over again as I took something else away from you. As I hunted down every single one of your friends systematically, piece by piece tearing your precious ‘Alliance’ apart. I loved watching you realize how weak you really were as the people you ‘loved’ fell before you, left and right. How  _ I _ dismantled the Rebellion until there was only you… Poor, sad and angry, little Adora, all by her lonesome with her unlucky magic sword. Tell me,  _ She-Ra— _ does destiny feel as good as you expected it? Did destiny take you where you wanted to go? Was being the ‘Great and Powerful She-Ra, Princess of Power!’ what you were hoping it’d be? ...Or do you now regret leaving me for a bunch of long-cold corpses and an inflated ego?” _

 

_ Only distantly did she realize she had been She-Ra the whole time during this stand-off, and that same rogue thought quickly faded away with the irritated flinch of her eye. Her very soul ached around the void in her heart, and once Catra was done monologuing, only one more thought entered her head at all,  _ ‘I should have killed her sooner.’

 

_ She knew that there was nothing left for her after this, and she knew that killing in revenge would not bring herself back to life. Only death will set them free. _

 

_ They had stopped circling one another when Catra asked her final goading questions. She-Ra’s hand twisted around the grip of her sword and she kicked off the ground to barrel full speed at Catra, sword lifting overhead and with the full intention to cut her in half. _

 

_ The last thing she expected to see was the full, unbridled terror that suddenly took Catra’s face and the simulation retreated back in the blink of an eye. _

 

_ Battlefield, gone. The temple was still standing. Adora, standing over her former friend and holding her sword with both hands, only a handful of inches from cutting through Catra’s head. Catra, who was on the ground, had her arm raised to vainly block the blade and was still staring up at her like she was in a waking nightmare. _

 

_ “Do you understand now, Adora?” Light Hope said, but she barely heard it. Tears were falling freely down Catra’s face as her trembling began in earnest. _

 

_ Adora, though… Adora was frozen in her own sense of terror. Was what she felt real? Was that the future? The internal agony from that other ‘self’ still lingered inside of her like a necrotic poison, eating away at everything she built herself from. Echoes of artificial memories of... _

 

_ She knew what  _ that _ Adora was feeling. She knew that all of her friends had been killed, Bright Moon burning in the distance and the Whispering Woods a crater-filled wasteland. _

 

_ Very slowly and deliberately, Adora stepped back and lowered her sword away until she felt it touch the ground. She and Catra just stared at one another. It was one thing to relive a memory like that… it was a whole different beast to live something that hadn’t even happened. _

 

_ “It is Catra’s destiny to be slain by you, just as it is your destiny to embrace your role as She-Ra, Princess of Power. The longer you try to fight and reject this, the more you will lose as time passes. The alliance you fought so hard to build would fall apart under the pushing assault by the Horde. Each such victory giving Hordak yet another runestone. Each such victory destroying another kingdom and killing another of your friends. One by one, you will watch them fall.” _

 

_ The horrified expression on Adora’s face began to fade. Eyes closing, it began to twist into jaded anger. It turned cold. When her eyes opened again, Catra was still looking at her with great confusion and greater fear. _

 

_ “You must let go, Adora. Let go, and truly become She-Ra. You must do what Mara did not.” _

 

_ The sword in her hand went from being loose, to being lifted above her head. The only thing she said, in a frozen voice, was, “For the honor of Grayskull.” _

 

_ If she didn’t think Catra looked scared enough before, looking up at her was somebody fearing for their life and regretting every single thing they’ve ever done in it. _

 

_ Catra’s eyes were begging her to not kill her, open and blown wide with unparalleled panic. It was the last thing Adora needed before she finally snapped. _

 

_ Turning her head from Catra to Light Hope, her veins were burning with hate. She couldn’t help it— it was almost stuck in her from that bullshit simulation, but this time the target was real. “It’s  _ you _ who needs to understand something.” Now her body turned to face the hologram, and the console behind it. “You’re sitting there telling me that in order to protect my friends and Etheria, to protect their free will and save them from the Horde, that I need to give up my  _ own _ free will? What the fuck kind of savior does that make me, throwing away what I’m supposed to embody? No. I don’t fucking care about what happened to the last She-Ra, I’m a completely different person.” _

 

_ Despite only needing the single hand, Adora clutched her sword with both and she did so with white knuckle grip. Snarling the next part, “I was  _ Adora _ first, I’m never gonna stop being Adora and I’m not going to sacrifice Adora. I didn’t ask for a stupid magic sword, I didn’t ask to be a fucking princess, and I’m not going to bend to  _ your will _ and let you fear-monger and brainwash me just like the Horde did.” _

 

_ “Adora. Stop. Stop what you are doing. You are making a mistake,” Light Hope began to plead. “You must protect Etheria. You must embrace your destiny for the greater good—” _

 

_ “I can make my own damn decisions ‘for the greater good.’ I’m not going to let that fake future become real. I won’t ever let it get that bad and like  _ hell _ I’m going to turn into a lifeless, hate-filled husk! So take your ‘destiny’ and FUCK OFF!!” Above her rising and enraged voice, Adora swung her sword overhead and cleaved right through the console housing Light Hope’s entity. The split piece of machinery spluttered and sparked as it started draining of power and falling into a completely nonfunctional state. _

 

_ Knowing that Light Hope was now gone, at least from this place, didn’t offer her much relief. Not any peace of mind, not any encouragement. Her eyes were locked on the stationary sword, hands still on the grip. Slowly, she pulled it free and de-transformed back into herself. Her face was cold and hard again. _

 

_ She heard Catra start to rise to her feet after a few moments, and her sudden voice cutting through the heavy silence almost made her flinch with the auditory pain. “Wh… Why did you do that?” she asked, sounding small and confused. _

 

_ For a moment, she didn’t answer. She wasn’t really sure how she wanted to answer. Didn’t know which place to start with. Adora didn’t even want to say anything at all, so all she replied with was, “Just go.” _

 

_ When she didn’t hear any movement, she thought that maybe Catra was thinking she was going to say…  _ anything _ else. However, she wasn’t feeling particularly patient in that moment. “I said, go.” _

 

_ This time, without any other word between them, she heard Catra’s footsteps quickly fade away, and the emptiness of the temple felt that much emptier. _

 

_ Adora had no idea how long she stood there, mind blank beyond her recollection of the things she internally experienced in the simulation. _

 

_ She had no idea how long she sat on that floor sobbing, either. _

 

***

 

Surprisingly… comparing that future to the one she was actually in… Adora did feel relief, this time.

 

Cause Catra was on her side again.

 

That was when Adora’s attention fell back to the gentle thumping of the Heart Flower. It felt like it was encouraging that line of thought. A comforting warmth emitting from it— and she felt that this was exactly what the Whispering Woods needed.

 

Turning on her heel, Adora sped back up and continued her trek to the center, remembering that she was on a time limit.

 

At least she’ll see the magic in the forest again.

 

***

 

If she had found the temple, then she knew she wasn’t far from where she believed the center of the woods was. Adora had really picked up the pace, but it was shocking just how much distance she must have already covered— and it was only half the distance, maximum. 

 

But she knew she was there when she got there. It wasn’t a clearing, there wasn’t something particularly special, but Adora slowed as she approached it.

 

An old, hollow, large withered tree. Its roots were thick and disappeared beneath the surrounding foliage, but she wouldn’t be surprised if other things grew from those expansive roots.

 

Very gently, she took her sword and let it rest against the trunk. She knew that this was what she was meant to find— the bud in her arms felt a little warmer. As carefully as she could, Adora peered into the empty trunk and set the Heart Flower inside of it. Then, she proceeded to grab handfuls of dirt and buried it about halfway.

 

Its thumping slowed drastically, transitioning into a new rhythm. At first, it had been a consistent and even beat every few seconds. For the past three days, that’s how it signaled its life.

 

Now? It didn’t only  _ sound _ like a heartbeat, it felt like one. It made her conscious of her own until hers had matched it, and she couldn’t tell the difference between them anymore.

 

As calming as it felt, it couldn’t smooth away  _ all _ of Adora’s worries. She didn’t want to imagine what would happen if this didn’t work— it simply  _ had _ to.

 

The only change she noticed was the strength of the flower’s beating. It was growing, slowly, but it didn’t look like it was planning on opening. Or doing anything. Minutes passed, Adora clutching the edges of the hole in the bark and watching with growing concern. Was she wrong? Was this not where she was supposed to put it? Was she too late, and it was actually dying? Did  _ she _ mess it up?

 

How could she have noticed the scattered defrosting of the grass, leaves and roots— the oh so subtle return of vibrancy in the immediate area of the tree on the  _ outside _ . Only when she stepped back, having grown restless, did she see it. Instantaneously, all of her worries popped like a bubble and fell away on the wind.

 

Adora’s hands ran up the sides of her head, digging into and clutching the golden locks as a wide smile of relief grew. Then, the petals began to pull away, releasing more and more of its internal glow. The magic pulsed in waves in time to its steady heartbeat and each one resonated inside of her. Adora’s eyes were wide in awe. Once it had bloomed all the way, she let herself drop backwards and sit onto the ground, as if suddenly unbalanced.

 

It was beautiful, mixed spontaneously with the different colors of a sunrise, the bright orange center almost like a cocoon housing its own sun. Swirling in it was the flow of magic and it was already taking hold of the land. With much more vigor, Adora was able to watch in real-time as the plantlife began to revive, better than ever.

 

The cherry on top was watching the old, dead tree regain its own color and began to seal the hole in its exterior. It had a new source of life, and in its gratefulness, would house the Heart Flower and be its guardian.

 

Once it the bark became seamless and she could no longer see the flower inside of it, Adora fell the rest of the way down onto the ground with a dumb and peaceful grin. Her lungs filled fully, free of the weight of such a burden. Tranquility quickly occupied the emptying space where her worries and fears of what would happen if this plan hadn’t worked, of how much more difficult the war would be without the Whispering Woods offering its protection, of the absolute disappointment and heartbreak she would’ve had to face when she told Glimmer.

 

None of that was the case anymore— and all Adora could think about was how much of a relief their success was, how happy Glimmer and Bow were going to be when she tells them the good news.

 

It wouldn’t kill her to lay there a few minutes to enjoy her victory.

 

* * *

 

Bright orange embers crackled and popped, shooting into the air and flying barely a foot away from the burning wood— if that— before fading away into smoke and ash. They were so easy to watch as each took a single breath of life and then vanish, already gone.

 

The scene felt so eerily familiar that Adora almost missed the hushed tones and glancing between her two dirty and exhausted friends. It didn’t take a scientist to know that they wanted to say something.

 

Deciding to beat them to the punch, Adora looked up and said, “Just tell me whatever it is you want to tell me.” It came out a little more direct than she intended it to, if their startled reactions were any indication. The two of them glanced to each other one more time, prompting Adora to raise an eyebrow as she sat on the ground, waiting.

 

“We…” Glimmer started, clearing her throat, “We wanted to ask what happened the… other night. When we… found you next to the tree.”

 

_ ‘Ah.’ _ Adora’s mind jumped back to that point, quickly speeding through the events in the memory. Her eyes went a little glassy before rolling up as they closed entirely and sighed. It had only been a matter of time, now that they’ve finished their mission.

 

When she opened her eyes again, she was met with even more concern from her friends. The sight made her groan a little with guilt, knowing that her instinctual body language wasn’t helping matters. She rubbed the left side of her neck, over the old scar that sat there, peeking out from the edge of her synthetic mesh. 

 

Almost immediately as she did that, she saw Glimmer and Bow glance at each other with almost frightened expressions before they asked, “Did we overstep?”

 

Of all the things… Adora chuckled weakly and waved them off. “You’re fine; completely unrelated… What happened was…” she trailed off, not quite sure how she wanted to explain it. There was a lot of things going on in her mind and body that night. Even then, it was a bit difficult to sort through, especially on top of finding herself at the temple again.

 

This was probably a really good time to talk about it, she figured.

 

“Sometimes… my head goes to another place. It’s like I’m being attacked by my memories and emotions. Gets overwhelming pretty quickly. I lose my rationality and start to… panic,” Adora said, rubbing her arms absentmindedly and not making eye contact. Despite every effort to, she couldn’t get rid of that sliver of shame for confessing such a thing. The Horde conditioning still lingering felt like an infected scab. “I’ve gotta be a leader. Everyone’s counting on me. I’m doing everything I can to control it but… that’s part of the problem, isn’t it? Doing that just… piles on it.”

 

She knew she didn’t need to look up to know the kinds of expressions her friends must be making. The silence hung there for a few moments until Glimmer’s soft, worried voice asked, “Do you know what triggers it?”

 

Adora shook her head. “Could honestly be about anything. Just depends on the time, place and context…” Her fists tightened. “It’s always more frustrating afterwards when it was something small and insignificant...”

 

There was more— just on the tip of her tongue. Conflicting urges battling inside her head. In the end, she chose to keep her mouth closed, teeth biting herself into silence.

 

They must have noticed her spacing out with a hard look, cause Bow asked after a few seconds, “Did the Horde make you want to want to hide this?”

 

He doesn’t know it, but it was an interesting question. It prompted her to look up and meet their gaze. “I didn’t have this problem when I was with the Horde— but if I did, I would have had to hide it, yeah. It didn’t start until  _ after _ I defected.” Adora’s face fell, slightly. “...Catra didn’t really help with that, either. In both ways; she made it worse, but she also  _ had it worse. _ So, I shoved it down deep and pretended it didn’t exist.”

 

“Wait, what do you mean she ‘had it worse’? How does that translate to ‘I have a subjectively better situation so my feelings probably don’t matter’?” Glimmer suddenly said with an accusatory-like tone. “Like, hello? Your feelings  _ do _ matter, Adora. All of them. Suffering isn’t a competition, ya know. Catra’s issues are  _ Catra’s issues, _ not yours.”

 

“Well,” Adora scratched the back of her neck, “I get what you’re saying, but… given who I am and what I’ve gotta do, Catra’s issues  _ are _ my issues. I  _ really _ don’t want her to make a stupid and irrational decision that puts us at odds again. Not to mention that, until she’s accepted as a real defector, I’m the only real thing standing between her and…” She trailed off, slamming her eyes shut and furrowing her brows in exertion, pushing that timeline out of her head. “I also need to be someone she can go to when she’s ready— at  _ least _ me.”

 

Still looking a bit frustrated, Glimmer gave her a couple seconds just in case there was more she wanted to add. There wasn’t. “But what about someone for  _ you _ to go to? You told us that you rejected Light Hope because she wanted you to give up everything that made you  _ you _ so that you can be the legendary She-Ra… Your experiences are part of  _ you, _ Adora, and  _ you _ aren’t an infallible icon— no one is. Not even the She-Ras before you were. You’re still a person, and more than a title for people to throw expectations onto. Even then, you have us to help you with that!”

 

“Glimmer’s right. No matter what, we’ve got your back, no matter what we face!” Bow jumped in, following Glimmer’s twist into upbeat optimism. “We’re in this together and only  _ together _ are we gonna win.”

 

_ ‘I love them,’ _ Adora thought, unable to help the appreciation slowly bringing a smile to her face. The sensation of gratefulness made it hard to refute their words, but she didn’t even want to. She felt lucky to have such fantastic friends. “Thanks. I’ll… work on it.”

 

Rolling back into her thoughts a moment, eyes drifting to the fire once more, Adora focused on that bright, warm feeling. Echoes of the Heart Flower’s song made it feel like a safety blanket, like she was secure. All she really had in the Horde was Catra, who was even worse with communication than she was. They kinda knew when something was wrong with the other, though. As much as she wished she trusted herself more back then— that she put more effort into fighting her complacency… Things were different now. This time… this time she can do it right.

 

By the time Adora looked up again, the two of them had began to try to merge their tents together into a single, somewhat larger makeshift tent. They were muttering things to each other and seemed to be persevering through the complications, but Adora couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

 

Bow and Glimmer glanced back over to her, and they were all able to share a smile. She knew what they were doing, they didn’t need to say anything.

 

Alone, she’d shatter under the weight of her responsibilities as She-Ra. It felt like an absolute, indisputable fact. Together though, not just with Bow and Glimmer, but the entire Princess Alliance— Catra and Scorpia included— together she was certain that they would win.

 

Despite expressing displeasure with the idea of camping out in the Whispering Woods, Adora felt that tonight, she would sleep in soundly in comfort.

* * *

 

The mood was high that following morning, and lasted all the way back to Bright Moon. Not that it was a particularly extensive walk— they had only missed lunch by the time they got there. The whole while, Glimmer was excitedly going on about how awesome they were and how proud her mom was going to be of her. 

 

She wasn’t unjustified in her excitement either, it  _ was _ a big deal. Losing the Whispering Woods had been devastating, but thanks to the pooling of Alliance resources and efforts, they were able to protect the borders until Perfuma created the cure. Only a little while longer before the Woods can protect itself and Bright Moon again.

 

Queen Angella was waiting for them at the gates to the castle. Despite her effort to appear neutral and expectant, Adora could read her anxiety quite clearly, even as they were making their approach.

 

Of course, in spite of  _ Glimmer’s _ best effort to keep composed and do things all official-like, her resolve broke with a wide grin and overjoyed laughter. She started to run the rest of the way, shouting, “We did it mom!! We saved the Whispering Woods!”

 

Like daughter, like mother. Angella’s face quickly broke into overwhelming relief, hand rising to her chest and a deep sigh leaving her just before being embraced. Even as she knelt down to hold her daughter properly, she was watching Adora and Bow continue to walk towards them.

 

When they were all grouped again, Angella rose to her full height with a delighted smile. “Princess Perfuma’s solution took root?”

 

“Watched it bloom and bring the life back around it myself,” Adora answered. “She said that we should keep guarding it for a while longer until the magic revives, but it’ll heal. Perfuma’s keeping the rest of her… supply on reserve, just in case we need to go in and ‘touch up.’”

 

“Fantastic news indeed.” Her eyes passed over all three of them, beaming with pride. “You’ve accomplished something we weren’t sure was even possible, and I couldn’t be more grateful or proud. I’ll summon the War Council, there you can provide a full debrief and input on our next steps. Afterwards, you are free to rest and recuperate however you chose. I hope that sounds agreeable,” the Queen said, turning and gesturing for them to follow her inside the castle.

 

The three of them looked to one another. Undoubtedly they were all pretty tired, could use a nice meal and probably a long bath, but Adora was the one to speak up. “Perfuma mentioned some strange Horde troop movement reports— I want to look them over.”

 

“Certainly. My generals haven’t had much luck deciphering them, so I was hoping to request your expertise in the matter.”

 

Adora didn’t respond right away, biting her tongue on a risk. “Catra would know more than me. I defected before I was even given my first mission as Force Captain— I didn’t even go to Force Captain Orientation. She might be a better tactician than even I am. If I can’t figure out, maybe consider letting her take a look?”

 

It was Angella’s turn to be silent a moment, and in that long moment, Glimmer tapped her friend’s arm and mouthed ‘What are you doing?’ Adora understood what she was asking and the concerns surrounding it, but she knew her argument was sound, so she didn't really care.

 

“...Perhaps,” the Queen finally said. “I will  _ consider  _ it, and only  _ if _ you find that your knowledge is lacking. I am not giving you any promises, and do not confuse my rationale with trust. I’m due a report from Commander Aurelia soon, so we shall see how the two defectors fare.” Her tone was pointed and direct. Still better than she was expecting, at any rate.

 

Their ‘small talk’ period was over as they turned the hall and entered the war room. Immediately, the officers and generals present shot upright and saluted. Angella waved them off, prompting them to relax. As she walked around the table to take a seat at the head, she said, “Go ahead and debrief your mission.”

 

Both Bow and Adora were content to stand silently as Glimmer took the lead— neither of them wanted to deprive her of the honor and indulgence. “We left Princess Entrapta in Plumeria and Princess Perfuma lead us to a room where she was growing magical flowers. We established a plan with her to bring as many of them with us to the Whispering Woods as we could and planted them all around the region. One of them was bigger than the rest— she called it the ‘Heart Flower,’ and that one sits hidden in the center and is the source of the recovery. Perfuma told us that it won’t fix everything right away, and that we need to give it time, but she estimates it won’t be very long— a few weeks. We were able to do all of this without any complication. In summary: We did it!” Her grin was wide and bright, to which was reciprocated most by her mother.

 

“Thank you, Commander Glimmer. Thank all three of you for having done this. We are now capable of making preparations to bring this war back into the tide of our favor. But before we make any significant plans, Adora…” The Queen gestured to the center table, which held a holographic map with many tokens and markers. Resting on the edge closest to the trio was a long, semi-transparent pad with the reports already set up for review. “Would you be so kind as to give us your input on recent Horde movements?”

 

Stepping forward, Adora reached out and took hold of the device.

 

The first thing she did was sort them by date; oldest reports read first. Some were packed with details, and some were more like theories, if much of anything at all. Mutters circled the table as she read carefully, clicking each report and watching it show up on the map in front of them with animated movements. As the minutes passed, Adora’s expression grew more focused and concerned. When she started to flip back and forth between different reports, everyone began to get restless waiting for her conclusion.

 

“It’s…” she started, still piecing it together herself. “It’s not random. It’s not conflicted either. This is advanced, even on an accelerated training regime, and doesn’t fit the MO of any other leading commander I know of. Looks like this started around the time Catra defected… must mean Hordak’s found a replacement for her, and gave out a promotion on top of it. Whoever they are, most of this is their doing. I'm positive of that much, at least...”

 

“You’re not able to understand it, are you?” the Queen asked, the only thing betraying her disappointment and worry being her eyes. 

 

Adora shook her head. “No. I’m sorry. I can’t even tell if its aggressive or defensive, let alone objective goals or how it all fits together…” Didn’t matter how many times she looked over it, it just didn’t fit with anything she was taught or went up against. “It… it feels like there’s something missing. That this isn’t the full picture. Hordak’s got a very well known preference for science and technology over magic. Their scouts would beat ours any day of the week simply based on technological capabilities.”

 

“Ah—” an older general voiced, turning quickly to the Queen. His voice was gravely and deep. “Your Majesty, didn’t you say that the defectors brought with them Horde blueprints? Perhaps we can begin production of them, use their own tools against them.”

 

“That’d work. At least, in the beginning. Once they catch on that we have range like they do, they’ll work to counter us. If we can see more of the playing field, find out what their hidden forces are doing, we’ll definitely gain a temporary advantage,” Adora commented with regards to the general. “Once we have the upper hand, I think we need to push that advantage as far as it can go. Shove the Horde onto the back foot and have them scrambling to respond and stabilize. If we widen the window enough, we can gain some serious ground.”

 

“That would require extensive coordination and communication with the rest of the Alliance,” another general said.

 

“Then focus on production of reconnaissance and communication technology first. Weapons and anything else can come later.” Adora met Angella’s eyes as she said that, finally setting the device down. “There’s a few weeks before we can leave the Whispering Woods unguarded. Use that time to build a network and aim to at least get all the leadership on it before then. Keep it under wraps— Hordak’s got a pretty big spy network of his own and we don’t want to lose the advantage before we can even act on it.”

 

“Adora’s very right,” the Queen said. “Collect a trustworthy and discreet team to begin work on this. Share no details with any individual that I do not personally give clearance for, and this is not to be discussed anywhere but in this room. As soon as we have the means of following Horde movements, employ it. I want to continue receiving reports on that.” Her pointed gaze settled once more unto Adora’s. “Those orders apply to you three, as well. Thank you, Adora, for your insight, but before you go: remember what I said about who sees these reports. We want to minimize risk, only  _ I _ may give permission to view sensitive material.”

 

She nodded, swallowing down the clever smirk that wanted to rise to her face. “Go rest, now,” Angella said with a wave of dismissal. The three of them thanked her and departed from the war room.

 

Even as they had decided to eat before anything else, finding that rations were not nearly as filling as a ‘proper meal,’ Adora lingered in her mind. She knew that had been a warning to not tell Catra anything— a warning she will heed, but the Queen said  _ nothing _ about asking for Catra’s knowledge outright. Learning what her friend knew, in the case that permission would  _ not _ be given.

 

Sure, she imagined that Catra wasn’t having the best of times, but she knew in her gut that her defection was legitimate. She wouldn’t work to undermine herself by causing trouble. Besides, what on Etheria could she  _ possibly _ do at a refugee camp that’d make Aurelia’s report in any way concerning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY LESBIAN VISIBILITY DAY AND ALSO SHE-RA SEASON 2— which is why I decided to post a couple days early! (Sorry for not making last Sunday, I almost had it done but I ran out of time, decided it'd be easier on me anyway to wait to post and keep going into chapter 10, which I did and I think you'll really like what I have thus far.)
> 
> So, while on the topic of season 2, I plan on binging it later today. I have the big major points of the timeline gap figured out on my own (the period of time that season 2 would be taking place in) and I don't really have plans to significantly change it. I'm dug into this and I just gotta go with it, the fic is already tagged as canon divergent. I will likely be using some of season 2 to help keep the story going and yes, we will see more of the other princesses— in time. I'm gonna keep handling this war like a war and I'm going to keep writing the Horde like an immoral fascist conqueror society who doesn't employ children (16 yr olds) as military officers. That means dark and adult themes are still underway and I've got a few... particularly gnarly things waiting to be revealed. I'll, of course, warn you ahead of the chapter of any sensitive content. I will also continue to be retconning Swift Wind because he still strikes me poorly. I'm still so excited to be writing this and I want to thank all of you for following with it for this long.
> 
> Anyway, I'm also kind of an asshole <:3c But I like a bit of dramatic teasing (referring to the ending line). I will *not* be doing y'all dirty, either. Whatever sad and angst I write will have comfort to balance it. Enjoy season 2!! Go lesbians<3!!


	10. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During the Battle of Bright Moon, the Whispering Woods had been frozen and decaying. Ever since, the Princess Alliance has had to alter their battle plans and troop movements to adequately protect the territory they still have, which had given the Horde considerable advantage. However, thanks to the aid of Princess Perfuma, the Woods received a new heart, and in relatively short time, will heal. The Alliance plans to take the upper-hand away from their malevolent enemies and once again turn the tide of the war.
> 
> But... there's still the tragedy of the refugee camp, where Catra and Scorpia await the imminent retribution of the Rebellion leaders— starting with Commander Aurelia.
> 
> Warnings/Heads-up: Lots of F-bombs

“The Queen will have your heads for this,” Aurelia said, tone bubbling with unprecedented fury. “Over a  _ hundred _  confirmed casualties, civilian and military alike, around the four stockpiles hit— ones that  _ you _  reported were clean. It took us all night to regain control and stabilize the camp. The damage is still being assessed, but thus far it's been pretty conclusive that it was Horde explosives. You better tell me  _ exactly _  what happened and hope I don’t send you to Bright Moon in chains.”

 

“Commander, I—” Marius tried to voice, but was quickly silenced by the pounding of her fist against a nearby table.

 

“ _ You, _  Captain, will remain perfectly silent until I’ve collected  _ their _  versions.”

 

Catra was glaring back at the officer with just as much emotion as she was receiving. Most of her own anger was with herself, but she really couldn’t see any other way it could’ve gone. The Rebellion just simply wasn’t equipped to deal with harboring Black Marks, or to handle the Horde's full strength. “We found poison at the last stockpile we went to,” she began to say, tempering her tone. “Boxes with handwritten labels to the food lines and Horde military code on the corner saying ‘poison.’ Inside were canisters labeled ‘nutrient booster.’ There was only one still there, so we split up. I told the Captain to run to  _ you _  and get the lines shut down.”

 

That only seemed to enrage her even further. “So you  _ broke _  the conditions of your defection, on top of everything else?” Her voice had increasingly rose to a shout with each word.

 

“The fuck else was I supposed to do? Let the unknowing chefs poison their own people? Is that  _ really _  what you would have preferred us to do?” she bit back.

 

“There  _ wasn’t _  any poison found. When the Captain rushed to report it, the lines were checked top to bottom. These boxes that you claim were brought there, don’t exist.”

 

Rather than shock, Catra found herself gawking at the woman in disbelief. “Guess you  _ are _  Commander Incompetent! I  _ chased _  someone down who ran off the second I got to Food Line 7— where I saw  _ another _  of those boxes on the way out— and the fucker was given orders to dump the poison into the food if I didn’t show up; and if I did, to lead me back to the rest of his refugee buddies, who were all  _ chained to the fucking floor! _ _”_ she shouted back, quickly building closer to the same level of anger as Aurelia was, hers especially after seeing the clear offense of Catra's insult. “They said that soldiers took their families hostage and threatened to kill  _ all _  of them if they didn’t cooperate! How the fuck do you explain that?!”

 

Before she was able to respond, one of the present guards stepped forward, if tentatively. “Ser—”

 

“WHAT?!” the Commander snapped.

 

“We had received a report not very long ago about Horde sympathizers in the camp. Only through families could we make IDs on them and our troops had taken them into protective custody while we tracked them down…” the soldier said, trailing off into a noticeably smaller voice and into a short pause. “Following her initial report of the imprisoned refugees, we made positive identification with them. Catra found the Horde sympathizers we had been looking for.”

 

_ Now, _  Catra was shocked. Stunned straight into silence, a look of horror taking over her face on the realization that she’d been  _ significantly _  outplayed; the Horde didn't pull any punches with this operation. Aurelia seemed to take it as being proven guilty. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Is that so…? Why had I not received this report sooner?”

 

“Given the current situation, Ser, an executive decision was made to hold off until things have calmed down. It was agreed that you had enough on your plate for the time being,” he answered, obviously nervous. She only waved him off.

 

“Put that together with the rank sweep, that  _ you _  insisted on, being clean…” Aurelia said, slowly and dangerously. “I’m having a hard time believing your story.  _ You _  happened to find a group of Horde sympathizers that claim to be coerced by soldiers holding their families as hostages, when those very families speak against them? I thought you were supposed to be some bright, up and coming Horde war hero. Seems I overestimated you.”

 

The scowl only grew deeper, her lip curling up and showing her clenched teeth. “Obviously you don’t know how the Horde works. Their whole  _ thing _  is brainwashing and conditioning. Those families were spoon-fed lies by Horde spies posing as your soldiers in a giant elaborate plot because  _ I’m _  a  _ Black Mark _ . What fucking part of that isn’t getting through your dense skull?”

 

“Catra—” Scorpia tried to say, wanting to try and reign her in so that she doesn’t go off and put them in deeper shit— wanting to say anything at all to help the situation, but Catra couldn’t care less. Neither could Aurelia.

 

Right eye flinching with the insult, the officer took a slow, deep breath in. “I have been fighting this war for longer than you’ve been  _ alive _ . What you’re suggesting would mean that our own security would be massively jeopardized— something the Horde would exploit, as you said. Why haven’t they won this war yet, if we’re so incompetent? It fits your background description to use bait tactics and sow dissent and doubt. You can make yourself easily believable with virtually anything with the power of your lying. If we had spies crawling through our ranks, this deep in our borders and capable of pulling off elaborate plans like you claim this is, we should’ve been taken down before She-Ra even showed up. You are barking baseless accusations to distract and cripple us, leaving us vulnerable—” Aurelia paused, raising her arm and pointing outwards at the flap of the tent, “—to attacks like this! I let you into the stockpiles, you said they were clean, and then they blow up and people are DEAD! How the  _ fuck _  do you explain THAT?!”

 

“If I wanted to destroy your Rebellion, I would have killed Adora already!” Catra blurted in rage, stunning many into widened eyes. “I sleep in her fucking room, she trusts me enough to let me get close to her. She would never see a knife coming! But she’s still alive— She-Ra still lives because I’m  _ not _  trying to fight you!” A cry of pure frustration broke through, scratching up her throat in a guttural way. “I’m the one constant person who has been able to go head-to-head with your stupid fucking precious She-Ra and suddenly I’m on  _ your _  side— I thought  _ you _  were supposed to be a veteran military strategist! Do you not understand how valuable we are to Hordak? Or how much effort he’s going to put into keeping us out of the war? Your bloated suspicions are  _ exactly _  what he wants to achieve. He’s fucking stalling you, hoping your leadership will crash and fall trying to figure out if you can trust me. So yeah, send us back to Bright Moon. I’d be more than happy to tell your Queen all of that and more!” By the end of that, Catra was panting, having fully vocalized her anger and irritation.

 

It quickly became obvious that the Commander was finished humoring this. With a snarl of her own, “Put the defectors into cautionary custody. Take their statements and put it in a report. We will let Queen Angella decide what to do with them.”

 

Neither of Catra or Scorpia said anything in response, and weren’t in a position to fight back either with their hands cuffed behind them— they had even found something for Scorpia this time. Catra maintained her glaring with Aurelia until she couldn’t physically continue doing it, letting herself be escorted out silently.

 

A few moments passed before she turned to Marius. “You had one job, Captain. One order, given to you by the Queen.”

 

If Marius had been easily put down before, he had a lot more resolve now. Without being outright disrespectful, he still managed a hard look in return. “I’ll take any punishment that Her Majesty sees fitting, but I will not apologize for doing what I believed was best to protect the people here. I don’t know what you  _ think _  happened, Commander, but we looked everywhere imaginable and found absolutely nothing. Whether you trust that or not, you should check the log records. Find the people who came in after us, one of them had to have brought the explosives in.”

 

For a long moment, she was silent. “And what if it comes back clean, Captain? Do you expect me to simply take their word for it? Do you expect me to take  _ yours? _  How do I know that your integrity hasn’t been compromised?”

 

“You’ve known me long enough to know that I’d sooner throw myself from a steep cliff than betray everything I fundamentally believe in. If it comes back clean, then that can only mean that they were loaded and packaged with the supplies from the very beginning— meaning that Horde spies go deeper than we could’ve imagined.” Surprisingly, his voice was rather cold, indicating the seriousness of his words.

 

Aurelia definitely felt that way, and unlike with Catra and Scorpia, she was more inclined to believe the Captain. Her face slackened a little. “Why do you have such faith in the defectors?”

 

Glancing away, it took him a moment to build up an answer. “Because they saw things that made them want to leave. The way they talk about the Horde… it's unembellished. Like everything that they say is simply a fact. There are untold horrors in the Fright Zone that we know nothing about. Catra talks about it like there are things they do that are worse than death.”

 

For nearly a minute, nobody in the tent spoke. Not until the Commander walked around the center table and took a seat, gesturing to the one on the other side of her. Marius approached and sat down.

 

Leaning forward, perching her elbows on the hard surface and locking her fingers together, Aurelia said with an even voice, “I want you to tell me everything you’ve learned about the Horde from them. Don’t leave out a single detail. If we really have been as heavily compromised as she says, I need to understand why the Horde wouldn’t put more effort into dealing with us. Start with what a ‘Black Mark’ is.”

 

Taking a deep breath, the Captain tried to relax in his seat, hands in his lap. “Of course, Ser…”

* * *

 

The doors to the throne room opened to reveal the lonesome approaching form of Adora, concern etched into her expression. Standing in the middle of the room, rather than sitting on the throne, the Queen looked up from the thin data device she held in her hands, unable to hide her despondency.

 

It didn’t help calm Adora at all. “What happened?” she asked, direct, but not pointed.

 

Angella seemed to need a moment to collect herself, closing her eyes and breathing in slowly. “Something’s happened at the camp where Commander Aurelia was sent to. The report’s dated 2 days ago and had only shortly arrived.”

 

Feeling her stomach drop with a sickening weight threatened to make Adora unsteady, finding herself smacked upside the head with confusion, questions and an endless list of worries. “What do you mean something’s happened?”

 

“There’s… been Horde sabotage. Bombs went off in 4 of the resource stockpiles scattered about the area, killing nearly two hundred people— civilian and military,” she answered, as steadily as she could. Her face looked drained of color and almost mentally exhausted. Even bringing up a hand to sooth the pains along her temple. “I’ve gotten a lot of details from different sources, but included are the statements taken from Catra, Scorpia, Captain Marius and Aurelia herself. There’s… contradictions.”

 

Despite being offered the reports directly, Adora unintentionally snatched it from her hand with how quickly she went to grab it and her eyes raced across the pages and files. As she did so, the Queen continued to speak. “Aurelia has put the defectors under cautionary custody and is awaiting a response from me on what to do.”

 

From there, she let the young woman take her time with going through it all herself. There was nothing to like detailed there, and reading about the resulting chaos made that unpleasant feeling in her gut twist further. “I can’t believe this… There’s no way Catra would set something like this up.”

 

“I know that you want to trust them, but the Commander has a strong case against them regarding internal integrity. If the Horde really had such extension into our ranks and territories, Hordak should have been able to win by this point. It stands to reason that since that hasn’t happened…” Angella began to say. “I’m of the mind to summon the four of them back here to tell us the whole story.”

 

_ ‘Fuck,’ _  was all Adora could think. So many people senselessly slaughtered just to stir the pot. They  _ need _  Catra’s insight if they’re gonna decipher the Horde’s movements, and this seriously sets that back. Poison, explosions, hostages, all of it wrapped up into a bright red box with Catra’s name on it and handed right into the hands of a War Council member. No, she knows Catra better than that…

 

She has to know Catra better than that.

 

“I need to hear it all, too. I need to hear  _ her _  tell it.”

 

The distress in her words seemed to beckon Angella closer and rest a comforting hand onto her shoulder. “I think it’s as you said the other day… There are things that we are not currently able to see. I’ll begin a rank sweep of my own, as per the Captain’s suggestion in his version. He has reason to believe that there might be spies involved with resource shipment, and further mentions the possibility of other such similarly sensitive operations being compromised. I’d prefer to be safe, rather than sorry.” She spoke with a deliberately softer tone, almost motherly. “As inclined as I am to favor the word of Aurelia, I feel as if there is something off about the situation. Should any updates come in, or when they arrive, you shall be the first to know.”

 

Her words did little to actually soothe her, but Adora faked it well enough with a sad smile up at her and a soft spoken, “Thank you…” It seemed to appease the older woman, who smiled back and patted her shoulder. Taking the hint, Adora handed the datapad over and made her way out silently. The guards behind her closed the doors after.

 

...It wasn’t until about halfway back to her room, where Glimmer and Bow were waiting for her, that she decided to take a turn and head elsewhere.

 

Adora knew that she was not going to be able to fake being alright in front of them. The courier who ran to collect her— and her alone— had sounded urgent. How her friends were feeling was one of the furthest things from her mind in that moment, devoured by the fears and frustrations that left her at a loss for words.

 

In her mind, it was better for her to deal with the itching, irritating burn in her veins the way she’d always dealt with stress and anger: work it out through her muscles and a dense punching bag. No point in trying to talk it out. Not this. Not even mentioning the deep seated idea that they wouldn’t understand even if she tried to tell them. She didn’t want to fall into the trap of her own mind swallowing her whole in front of them even more. Those chilling tendrils were trying to creep up and claim her, and Adora wanted to fight it.

 

No one has any idea just how significantly different Catra was from before and now. There was something new in her eyes whenever something was wrong. Adora  _ knew _  it was the key. She  _ knew _  that it wasn’t something Catra could fake. Not a chance.

 

Hopefully she’ll find out before too long just what it is.

 

Instead of returning to her room and to her nosy friends, she quickly arrived to the training room that had been added for her, or anyone else that may be interested in using it. Mostly Adora, though.

 

As expected, but still thankful for, nobody was present when she got there. After stepping inside and slamming the door shut, Adora made to strip and change into something she was far more content with sweating in. Namely some loose and baggy grey pants that stopped just below her knees and minimal topwear. Just that process alone felt like a warm-up, given how much tension was building in her.

 

Adora didn’t bother keeping track of the time, lost in her own thoughts.

* * *

 

_ This was… familiar. _

 

_ Whatever happened that brought her to this moment, it was impossible to recall. All she knew was there was a strange sword in the middle of an even stranger forest, held up by the vines wrapping around it. Adora stepped closer to it, in awe. _

 

_ Just as she reached out to touch it, she heard a voice. It wasn’t the voice she remembered hearing, though. “Are you sure you want to do that?” _

 

_ Looking up and ahead, a figure emerged from the foliage into view before crossing her arms and leaning against a tree. She was wearing red. _

 

_ “Catra.” _

 

_ “I know you remember what happened after that. You had some crazy visions and ran off, leaving me to suffer Shadow Weaver’s fury. You can’t pretend you didn’t know what you were risking,” she said, strangely nonchalant. Like it was just a fact. To be fair, it was. _

 

_ Still, she didn’t like the implications. “I really didn’t think I’d be gone for as long as I was. Thought it’d be fine if I got back before anyone noticed I had left. What Shadow Weaver didn’t know wouldn’t kill her.” _

 

_ “You thought you were special and perfect enough that you could pull it off without a problem. After all, that’s what Shadow Weaver made you believe. You didn’t see anything wrong with being her golden child— her rising star. Her meal ticket. The attention and praise made you feel validated, and you knew that you wouldn’t disappoint her cause she’d never be able to hold you to anything you did wrong…” _

 

_ Adora clenched her fists, not needing her to finish that thought aloud to know what she was going to say anyway. She hated that Catra was right. She hated herself for how she felt. Catra said it anyway. “You knew I’d take the heat for whatever you did. You knew I’d suck it up, too. Did you know how far it went? Did you know how fucked up Shadow Weaver made me feel?” _

 

_ “I couldn’t have imagined it. I feel like I still know so little about what you really went through. All I wanted was for you to open up to me. If I had known, I would’ve done something,” she answered, but Catra didn’t seem to believe her. _

 

_ “Shadow Weaver taught us to take what we want. What we can’t control, we should destroy. Of course, you rejected that idea. We both know you did. Just… not a hundred percent of it. You couldn’t control me, either, so when you couldn’t get what you wanted with the blunt force of your personality, you were fine with letting me suffer a little.” Catra pushed herself from the tree and strode over to the other side of the sword, using the tip of a claw to trace up the vines. “You went into denial about it, so how could you have really known? You were perfect, and if you couldn’t reign me in, then it was me who was the problem, right? Only made sense.” _

 

_ It crushed her heart to hear. Adora wished it was all nonsense. “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry? You know I am. You know exactly how horrible I feel.” _

 

_ For a moment, the silence was only filled by the mysterious and mystical sounds of the wildlife around them, watching passively. Not at any point did Catra seem angry or upset. Not like Adora, her voice fluctuating with emotion. Catra’s nail began to slowly run up the length of the sword. _

 

_ “Becoming She-Ra changed everything. Your soft, comfortable little bubble popped and suddenly your world is turned upside down. Even then, you tried to deny it. That the Horde was evil and hurting innocents. But you couldn’t, cause you already knew that. It was simply easier to play the fool and hope to get out of the consequences of your actions. Of your mistakes. You were supposed to be perfect, you don’t know what mistakes  _ are _. That was something  _ I _  did. It was easier to blame everything on me instead of facing the reality that you fucked up. That you weren't as great a friend as you thought you were." By that point, the smooth underside of her finger was lightly running over the small runestone in the guard, catching Adora’s attention. _

 

_ “Why are you saying all of this?” Adora asked, voice rising a bit with frustration. “Can you get to the point? I needed to find answers. I’m still trying to find answers. I couldn’t  _ not _  have become She-Ra. I didn’t have a choice in the matter.” _

 

_ “That’s not what you said to Light Hope,” Catra simply replied, just bordering on sounding like a taunt. _

 

_ “Light Hope doesn’t understand that empathy and emotions are essential to being a person like me— someone who just wants to help people and make the world a better place. She wanted to turn me into  _ just _  She-Ra. I have a choice in who I become,” Adora bit back, angered by the very mention. _

 

_ “Your choices impact everyone around you. Your choice to ignore the consequences of your actions forced me into a situation where I could be killed for mine. That’s why we’re here now, isn't it? You feel guilty about running away from me, cause now I’m a prisoner in all but name and you blame yourself for it.” _

 

_ Gritting her teeth, Adora glared at her. “I can’t be blamed for all of the bad things  _ you _  chose to do! You held onto your broken heart like a lifeline and wanted to hurt me in revenge. What gives you the right to berate me on consequences?” _

 

_ “I grew up being punished for just about everything. Anything and everything I did was put under a microscope, ready for judgement at any time. I endured the result of having trusted you and having that trust be broken. I believed in you, and you treated me like a villain. I worked my ass off trying to make myself seem valuable and capable as a Horde officer and I did absolutely everything I could to keep myself on Hordak’s good side. There has to be a reason I stayed with the Horde, and did those things. There has to be a reason I wanted to leave. You know there’s one. You can see it in my eyes,” Catra said softly, finally raising her head to meet Adora’s piercing gaze. “What do you think it is?” _

 

_ Slowly, the anger drained, as she peered into those weary eyes. The bags were heavy, and Catra looked so tired. Resigned. That was just the outside layers, though. Adora could see it— that new, critical detail. “Fear… Something scared you. Like,  _ really _  scared you.” _

 

_ “Maybe,” she replied, her voice still calm and even, betraying nothing. “The Fright Zone is a terrifying place. The Horde does terrifying things. They killed two hundred people just to make me look bad. We hacked the planet without a care in the world about what damage it would do. You know that I’ve got a lot more insider knowledge than you do; so you’re pissed that this happened, but you're even more pissed cause you didn't see it coming at all. Ask yourself, Adora: Do you know the Horde as well as you think you do?” _

 

_ Now she was confused… and concerned. “What do you mean?” _

 

_ Catra raised a brow. “You know what I mean. You don’t need me to hold your hand through this, Adora. Why do you think we’re actually here?” She gestured all around them. The sword came back to center attention, and she remembered what she was doing— what she was going to do. _

 

_ “Why this memory? Cause it changed my life so drastically?” Adora asked. _

 

_ “Isn’t it obvious? You made a choice that had consequences. This is where you chose the mystery of the sword over me.” _

 

_ Hearing that felt like a knife in the heart. “Don’t put it like that… I didn’t know...” _

 

_ “You didn’t know what would happen if you tried to take me and leave before all of this, either. Still, you stayed.” Catra’s impassiveness was starting to upset her. This was surreal— the real Catra wouldn’t be able to keep so composed and act so detached. _

 

_ “I thought we were safer with the Horde. I still believed that  _ princesses _  were the evil ones, and had no idea what was out there beyond the Fright Zone. I didn’t know if I would be able to protect us, so I didn’t want to take that chance.” It was Adora’s turn to gesture all around them. “Having strange holographic woman calling out to me in my dreams and showing me glimpses of things I don’t understand— That’s not something I can just turn off. I can’t stop being She-Ra, and I can’t change the past... I can’t undo what I did here.” _

 

_ “Then do it again,” Catra said. “Touch the sword. Let the timeline play out again. Could you even imagine a world where you didn’t? Think that maybe that’s what destiny is? A choice that you’d make, over and over again, no matter what happened up to that point?” _

 

_ Eyes falling down to the sword, Adora felt almost winded. “But…” Her heart ached. “I don’t want to leave you behind.” _

 

_ For the first time, some kind of emotion showed on her face. Catra smirked, that spark of mischief behind it. “I don’t think it could’ve been avoided. I needed to be independent from you. I think I know that, too. Some lessons are hard learned. Gotta play the hand you’re dealt.” _

 

_ “Are…” Adora breathed out, gesturing to the sword, “Are you… giving me permission?” _

 

_ “Would you believe me if I said ‘yes’?” _

 

_ “Why?” _

 

_ The smirk grew and she even chuckled as she looked away— gazing out to the Whispering Woods around them. When her eyes came back, they were filled with love. Catra reached out, gently taking Adora’s hand by the wrist and slowly bringing it closer to the hilt of the sword. “Because you need to forgive yourself if you want me to forgive you,” she answered, just as the tips of Adora’s fingers brushed the magical weapon and the bright blue glow blinded her from everything else. _

* * *

 

11 days. It had been 11 days since they saw each other last, and it hurt the both of them when Adora, Glimmer and Bow arrived to the throne room with everyone else already present. Of course Catra had turned her head to meet Adora’s eyes as she entered. Immediately they could tell that the other had not been well, but Catra’s eyes were especially dark and hollow.

 

Both she and Scorpia were still bound by the wrists and standing in the center of the room, as if on display. The military officers stood at either side of them, if closer to where Queen Angella sat stoically on her throne. No one spoke until the doors shut.

 

The three arrivals stood off to the side, in clear view of everyone in the room.

 

“Commander Aurelia, tell us exactly what happened, in as accurate and unbiased detail as you can,” Angella said, voice purposefully even.

 

Clearing her throat, the older woman straightened herself. “I had not been made aware of the situation until I had received a coded SOS message from Captain Marius. The former-Force Captain Catra had insisted on it in order to get my attention. It was when I summoned them that I was told that there were spies in the camp. I was skeptical and suspicious, but Marius vouched for them. From the very beginning I was concerned that this was a trap— and I was correct. After initiating a rank sweep that came back clean, thus far, and giving them clearance to search the stockpiles for signs of sabotage, it wasn’t even the end of the 2nd day when four of those stockpiles, that they had said were clean, exploded. It happened just as the evening set in and it took all night to stabilize the camp.” Turning her head some, Aurelia made to glare at the two defectors behind her. “The following morning, I demanded answers. I was told a story of poison being sent to the food lines and refugees held hostage. My own soldiers told me that those refugees were Horde sympathizers, and found evidence of it. I’ve since held them in cautionary custody.”

 

Dangerously, the Queen’s eyes narrowed. “You are certain of the innocence of every individual under your command? Captain Marius adds onto these things in his report.”

 

Glancing to the side at Marius, who had mirrored the response, the Commander let out a controlled breath. “We discussed the matter into further detail after sending the defectors away. I wanted to understand why the Horde, if they had this kind of reach, wouldn’t have taken us out by now. It wasn’t as enlightening a conversation as I had hoped. We are trying to recover the access logs and have been looking into the individuals who went into the targeted sites after they were marked clean.”

 

Wordlessly, Angella’s eyes sat onto the Captain, and she gestured for him to speak.

 

“Your Majesty… I may not have been a monitor for very long, but I fully believe that this defection is genuine, and that the Horde will continue to be ruthless in its endeavor to smear their integrity and keep us at odds with one another. While I also cannot answer the question of why the Horde would stall the war, I searched with Catra and Scorpia. We spent hours on our hands and knees, checking every potential hiding place we could imagine. We found absolutely nothing until the box with poison in it…” he said.

 

“Aurelia says that her soldiers found no trace of this poison, and that you willingly participated in breaking the terms of their defection— they are not to be out of sight or earshot of a monitor with appropriate authorization. Because you did not do this, we can only take the word of Catra and Scorpia themselves, and those involved with these supposed ‘Horde sympathizers.’ Words that we are not certain we can trust,” Angella countered.

 

The Captain bowed his head. “I accept whatever punishment you see fitting to give me, but as I said to the Commander— I will not apologize for doing what I believed was right.” When he raised his head again, his face was hard. “I did not want to risk people being poisoned, whether it was real or not.”

 

Silence hung heavily for a only moment. “I commend you, Captain, for your quick acting. Completely in spite of valid reasoning, I believe that your integrity is intact. I will not punish you.”

 

Marius seemed visibly relieved, but didn’t let up. Not quite yet. “Please, Your Majesty, you have my word that Catra and Scorpia speak the truth.”

 

Nobody missed the brief glance that the Queen sent Adora’s way. “I will hear what they have to say.”

 

_ ‘The moment of truth.’ _

 

Catra didn’t speak right away, lifting her head to keep an even gaze with the woman on the throne. “The war wasn’t moving as quickly as it had been before I replaced Shadow Weaver— a sorceress who was using the Black Garnet to fuel her magic, and had been one of Hordak’s leading lieutenants. She spent too much time trying to further her own ambitions instead of successfully lead a war. That, on top of the Whispering Woods being a huge obstacle, is why the Horde hasn’t taken full advantage of the gaps in your security,” she started, momentarily confusing most people in the room with her words and their stray topic. “Whoever set this up  _ wanted _  me to notice. They wanted me to speak up and try to do something in an effort to prove my legitimacy. I was baited right from the start. I noticed someone watching us, I tried to communicate and coordinate with Rebel officers and once I found poison in the stockpile, I did everything I could to make sure it wasn’t used. I ran all the way to one of the food lines— Scorpia went to the other— and as soon as I got there, someone else ran. I saw another box on the way out. He lured me to a warehouse where people were chained to the floor, dirty and terrified. They argued with one another over telling me what was going on— said soldiers took their families hostage and were threatening to kill  _ all _  of them if even one of them tried to fight back.”

 

Most of this was fairly new to Bow and Glimmer, only getting the bare minimum from Adora after they found her, then later viewing the reports themselves. To hear it told, though… they seemed horrified. Glimmer even had a hand over her mouth.

 

“And what do you make of the reports of them being Horde sympathizers?” the Queen asked.

 

“Bullshit. Lies and planted evidence in order to cast suspicion on if I was working  _ with _  them. As soon as I got there, I saw a message on the wall in Horde code. A taunt, directed at me. I tried to run back out and tell  _ somebody _  that we were tricked… and heard the explosions.” As her voice dropped to a quiet tone, Catra lowered her head again, biting harshly on her bottom lip and clenching her fists. “I went to find Scorpia after that, and we waited with soldiers until Marius found us.”

 

Angella hummed thoughtfully, eyes narrowing down at her. The room sat dead silent. “In Aurelia’s report, she mentions some things you said, specifically. ‘You don’t know how the Horde works,’ if I recall. Following that, you said that these families that were taken into protective custody were made to believe things that were not true, completely in spite of what they may have known their loved ones to be like. Enough to the point where, if we brought them here, they would accuse those same loved ones of being Horde sympathizers. This is what you were implying, correct? Is this true?”

 

“The Horde can do much worse. There is no boundary they won’t cross, and haven’t already crossed. You need to spend less time interrogating me and more time on blocking and fighting the Horde.” Beneath her words was a jagged tone, reflecting her irritation, but nobody regarded it. "Those families, broken as they already were, probably weren't very hard to convince."

 

“Commander.”

 

Aurelia stood to attention. “Your Majesty?”

 

“What would  _ you _  suggest I do with them, and with this situation?” Angella asked, eyes staying on Catra all the while.

 

“I would demand every detail about the Horde that provides us with insight as to how they think, what they prioritize and what they do behind the scenes. I would also imprison them until we are a hundred percent sure that they are innocent of this atrocity, based on a possible threat when I first confronted them after the fact,” she answered.

 

While the Queen raised a brow, Catra’s head shot up to look over with anxiety painted clearly across her face. Before anyone else could comment on her words, Marius spoke up. “That is not fair, Commander. You  _ know _  it wasn’t a threat. It was a plea. A horrible thing had just happened that she tried to help stop, and  _ you _  were the one making threats. She was trying to make you understand that she was our  _ ally. _ ”

 

“Enough,” Angella declared. “While I agree with the idea to collect information on our enemy, I will not imprison them for trying to help. The War Council has already come to the conclusion that we are significantly lacking information, and I do not believe we can see all of the parts involved with this. There  _ is _  evidence against Catra and Scorpia, but not enough. I’ve made my decision— Please remove the restraints and escort them to Scorpia’s quarters. I’m certain Adora will be heading there later.”

 

Without a word from anyone else, not even from Aurelia, in spite of her obvious desire to, two of the many guards present in the room stepped forward and approached the center. Within moments, the bindings were unlocked and removed. Catra rubbed her wrists, looking past everyone and straight to Adora.

 

It was hard for them to read the other, but they knew that they had to talk that night. They kept eye contact until they physically couldn’t. The doors opened, then closed again, as the guards departed with the two of them.

 

“Commander, I want you to do as Marius suggests. Regardless of how compromised we really are, I want to flush out as many spies as we can find. Take your anger and your grief, and put it into making sure something like this does not happen again. I want a message sent to Princess Perfuma, seeing as it is  _ her _  territory that was infiltrated, as well as a briefing of the situation with the rest of the Alliance. In 3 weeks time, I want all the Princesses and their generals to be in Bright Moon for a full War Council. The Whispering Woods will heal, and we will be making plans to begin aggressing against Horde forces. Is that clear?” Queen Angella finally said after the long silence following the dismissal.

 

If she was displeased with it, she didn’t show it. Aurelia bowed, “Yes, ma’am.” But she lingered a moment, rather than straightening back up and marching out. Slowly she raised her head to regard the Queen honestly, her pain showing through. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save them.”

 

That statement tugged on the hearts of everyone in the room— especially Adora. The same kind of look settled on Angella’s face, and she replied in the same soft, hurting tone. “I know. Pride yourself on having done the best you can. Together, we can make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

 

Nodding, the Commander wiped her emotion off of her face and composed herself. Now, she straightened and turned to leave.

 

“Go with her, Captain,” Angella added. “You’ve done what I needed you to do.”

 

Of course, Marius also bowed, but when he rose, he had something else to say, too. “May I have a moment with Adora, Your Majesty?”

 

The request piqued the interest of all of them— Adora hadn’t even seen this man before. Curiously, the Queen raised a brow slowly, glancing to Adora herself. “You may, but be brief.”

 

Now he turned his head to meet Adora’s eyes before gesturing with it to the doors. She followed him out, the guards leaving it cracked open for her.

 

“It’s about Catra,” Marius said, not even giving the woman a chance to ask. “There was something else that happened and I was supposed to report it, but I didn’t.”

 

Well, certainly attention grabbing. His words were immediately worrisome to her, suddenly even more frightened for her friend. “What is it?”

 

“I don’t know what you call it in the Horde— if anything, I reckon, but here… we call it ‘war attacks.’ A lot of soldiers get them as a result of the fighting,” he said, and paused when he noticed the look of realization on Adora’s face— like something clicked. “Do you know what I’m talking about?”

 

She nodded. It was all she  _ could  _ do, finally having a name for something that’s given her so much grief.

 

“It was the first day at the camp, and Catra had been off the whole time. After a few hours of construction work, we had a meal break. While I was gone, a lost child asked for help and we escorted her to…” Marius stopped sharply, taking in a breath and releasing it slowly. “To her parents’ graves. Once the girl started crying, I saw it out of the corner of my eye. I saw her freeze up with a frightened expression just before she started running.”

 

Adora’s heart dropped and her eyes widened. “She…” All the implications hit her instantaneously and it struck her core. Without even realizing it, she raised a hand up to her mouth, but put effort into not going overboard with the rush of heartache.

 

“She technically already broke the terms of her defection, but it wouldn’t be fair to report it. It wasn’t something she could help— you’re not conscious in a state like that. If you want to teach someone compassion, you have to show them compassion,” Marius said.

 

His last words felt profound to Adora. Quickly surging, above everything else, she felt innately that she could trust him. That Catra can trust him. “Thank you, Captain. That’s exactly what she needs right now.”

 

Then, a look of guilt started forming. “I admit, I’m pretty worried about having told you that. It’s a private thing, but I thought since you’re… you, that maybe it would be okay for breaking the trust of privacy.”

 

That only brought a smile to her face. “Don’t worry about it. You did a good thing by telling me. Now I can help her.”

 

Finally, relief. The Captain smiled back, already breathing easier. “I’m glad. Thank you, Adora, for hearing me out. If Queen Angella still trusts me to do it, I’d very much like to continue being their monitor.”

 

“I’ll put in a good word, alright? Take care, Captain,” Adora said. He gave her a casual salute and a small wave as he walked down the hall. She quickly turned to enter the throne room once again, guards shutting the door behind her.

 

Glimmer and Bow had moved to the center of the room, both reasonably upset. “I can’t believe that the Horde could…” Glimmer started, gripping her arms tightly and looking angrier. “So many innocent people just… dead. To send a message? I can’t…”

 

Rising from her throne, Angella began to descend down the steps to group with the three of them. Like before, the exhausted look was on her face, in her voice. “I know. I’m devastated by this as well…”

 

“I don’t know how you can just— just trust her!” Glimmer looked up with furious, mournful eyes, red with tears. “We send her out— let her help like she claimed she wanted to, and within days, people are dead!”

 

“ _ I’m _  not surprised! We grew up on horror stories, with threats written in the rules. If you don’t think or act in the right way, bad things happen to you,” Adora said back, suddenly a bit inexplicably annoyed. “Hordak doesn’t care about anyone or anything except conquering Etheria. Someone gets in the way of that, he won’t think twice about how much force he uses.”

 

“She’s fought us, threatened us,  _ tortured _  us, has gone out of her way to hurt us and had relentlessly gained ground for the Horde! She’s put our lives at risk every opportunity—” Glimmer bit, frustration obvious with each word. “Why would she drop all of that when she seemed  _ soooo  _ into it and defect? All I’ve ever heard her talk about was power and superiority and whining about how you hurt her feelings!”

 

Adora felt her eye flinch in irritation, and they all seemed to notice. “You think I don’t know all that? You don’t know everything— not what she’s been through, not what I’ve been through. Trust me when I say I know what it feels like to have her take  _ everything _  away from me,” she growled dangerously, and immediately disengaged, bringing a hand up to her face and mouth to cover her horrified look. It was impossible to not watch their faces twist into hurt shock. She turned away, almost ashamed. “I’m sorry. I’m… tired of everyone doubting her. I’m tired of everyone doubting  _ me. _  I know what I’m doing. Catra wouldn’t be capable of following through on something like that— you have my  _ word _  that both her and Scorpia are innocent.”

 

“Adora, I’m— I’m sorry,” Glimmer said, not too long after. She was going to say more, but was cut off before she could.

 

“No, don’t be. You’re completely in your right to be upset with her for what she’s done in the past. I’m still hurt and angry with her too, okay? Just because I trust her when she says she defected, and wants to make amends, doesn’t mean me and her don’t have tough shit to work through.” Adora didn’t meet their eyes as she said that.

 

She didn’t expect Glimmer to step forward and hug her, quickly joined by Bow. Adora turned in their arms until she was able to hold them tightly in return. Not very long into it, she felt tears wet her shirt.

 

Adora wasn’t able to hold hers back forever, either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a pretty fun chapter to write, even if repeating the same events was a bit annoying to me— I couldn't figure out a way around it, seeing as every time had something to add on top of it. Oh well. Hope you all enjoyed it anyway. I've been on quite a roll lately, not just in writing but in my art as well. Ended up establishing the start of a twitter following, so, there's that. Hi twitter followers, if you followed my link.
> 
> As much as I want to give Adora and Catra *all* the screen time, there are still a lot of cool characters I want to explore— and are important to explore. But don't worry, you'll have some Catradora scenes soon. I hope you'll find it worth the wait. Don't have much else to say, so thank you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts and theories!


	11. A Little R & R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Judgement has been passed. Queen Angella, having heard the testimony of those present for the attack on the refugee camp, stated clearly her belief of there being more going on that the Princess Alliance could not see. While technically Aurelia's suggestion, the Queen has agreed to set Catra and Scorpia in front of the War Council to reveal everything they know about the Horde and the Fright Zone. After the two of them were dismissed to Scorpia's quarters, the hearing concluded and on his way out, Captain Marius informed Adora privately of Catra's war attack incident— knowledge that Adora appreciated.
> 
> Tensions run high, emotions simmer in their volatility, and two recovering friends now have a very big elephant in the room to deal with.
> 
> Warnings/Heads-Up: A tame chapter

“You know, it feels an awful lot like the first time we were here,” Scorpia said, softly, “— ‘we’ as in me and Entrapta.”

Instead of replying, Catra just curled deeper into her friend’s protective embrace. They were sitting on the floor, and had been relatively silent since they got there. Bringing up the missing piece to their trio only made them miss her more. There were even still some bits of scrap metal and bolts scattered around the room, left untouched.

“She was welcomed back into the Princess Alliance, right? Wouldn’t that mean she’d be safe, whatever happens?” she continued.

Her mouth opened a little, as if she wanted to say something, but Catra bit down on it. She didn’t want to scare her. “She’ll be fine,” is what she chose to say, if strained. “We’re the ones they’re _really_ worried about.”

For the past 4 days, Scorpia’s watched from the outside as emotions twisted and churned in Catra’s demeanor. Glancing up, she checked to see if the guard by the door was still watching them like a hawk. Unsurprisingly, they were. It didn’t deter her from doing what she said next.

Looking back down to her friend, “You feel powerless, don’t you?” Noting the way Catra stilled to a statuesque manner, Scorpia knew she hit the nail on the head. This wasn’t the first time Catra’s locked herself up so tightly. “I don’t think the Queen has any intention of going back on what she said— Once Adora’s here, she’ll tell you the same thing. These people are nothing like the Horde.”

A hand reached out to ball up in the fabric of Scorpia’s top, like it was just something for her to hold onto. “I fucking _hate_ having to let Adora save me. I hate even more that I _still_ don’t have control over my own damn fate,” she growled in frustration.

Very gently, she held Catra just a bit closer and stayed there for a moment before speaking again. “It’s not forever, and you’re not alone. You’ve got me, and I’ve got you.” Scorpia maintained her soft, comforting and understanding tone. “Just a little while longer, and we’ll be free.”

Nothing was said for a prolonged moment, but slowly Scorpia felt her friend slacken and let go of her tension. Some of it, anyway. She sat in calm, easy silence, knowing that what Catra needed from her was patience.

When she began to quiver anxiously, only a little at first, she kept her close. “...Just feels like nothing I say or do matters. Everyone _always_ assumes the worst of me,” Catra finally said, voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t even know how much of it is my own fault…”

With her left arm, the one that wasn’t cradling Catra’s head, Scorpia carefully brushed over her hair with her pincer. “They just don’t know you very well yet, that’s all. When they get to see you for who you really are, they’ll feel differently. I bet they’ll come to love you just like me and Entrapta do, sweet Wildcat.”

Hearing the petname, Catra opened her eyes to look up, and was met with a loving, compassionate smile. She couldn’t help returning a small one, sighing quietly. “Maybe…”

Seeing as she was visibly relaxing, Scorpia sighed too, and let Catra lean into her, eyes slipping shut again. There wasn’t much else to say, so the silence felt comfortable, rather than foreboding.

As time would have it, it was only a few more minutes before there was a knock at the door, startling the guard. They didn’t get a chance to open it, Adora stepping through, and wasn’t followed. Her eyebrows rose a bit at the sight before her, obviously a little surprised by what she found. A little more surprising was the fact that Catra only sat upright and leaned forward without leaving Scorpia’s lap.

However, she quickly overcame it, letting her face fall to weary relief. It didn’t go by either of them that her eyes were a little dark and red. “How are you guys doing?” she asked, voice a tad hoarse, but caring.

The two of them glanced at one another, and instead of meeting Adora’s eyes again, Catra let hers drop. “Fine,” she said, tiredly.

Evasiveness was something that wasn’t surprising to Adora. “We can go now, if you’re ready.”

Scorpia tried to not look too disappointed, doing her best to keep her smile on her face, especially as she looked down at Catra. She moved her arms an inch or two away from her, should she choose to get up.

Then Catra’s hand followed, reaching to rest on the large pincer and drag it back. “Can I stay here a while longer?”

Now she was surprised, completely. It was clear on her face, and she looked like she wanted to say ‘oh.’ To her benefit, Adora wiped it away quickly. “...Yeah, of course,” she said, a subtle trace of shock still in her voice. “I guess we could come back when it’s time to eat.”

“Thanks,” Catra muttered, letting herself lean back against Scorpia. She and Adora shared a look, and while Scorpia looked friendly and appreciative, she could tell that Adora was thinking a lot of things behind her half-smile. When she seemed to decide not to say anything else, Adora turned to leave.

“I’ll see you later.” The door clicked shut.

Catra’s sigh was significantly rougher following that, and she raised a hand to rub at the side of her face.

“What’s wrong?” Scorpia asked, a bit concerned, a bit curious.

A brief silence. “...Was just hard saying ‘no’ to her, is all…”

One of Scorpia’s brows went up. “You usually have trouble with that?”

Thankfully, she shook her head. “No, not anymore. Kicked that habit. It’s…” Catra trailed off, brows furrowing in focus as she visibly struggled with finding the words. After a few moments, she gave up. “I can’t explain it— not in any way that you’ll understand. Sorry.”

Scorpia didn’t seem upset, or offended. She just smiled. “That’s fine. I understand there are things you can’t share, and there’s something special between you and Adora.”

The words caught Catra’s attention, prompting her to look up and meet eyes. “You gonna be okay sleeping by yourself?” she asked.

Even though Scorpia couldn’t hide the sadness in her eyes, it was refreshing that she was so genuine, always. Still, too, she persisted to smile. “Oh, I’ll be fine. It’s not that big a deal, even if I would really like you to stay with me, instead. As long as you’re safe and happy, y’know?”

Catra felt her face drop a bit, eyes lowering, trying to not give too much away. “Still…”

With the tip of her left pincer, Scorpia gently raised the other woman’s head up beneath the chin, making it difficult to not meet gazes. The lightest of reds sat on her cheeks. “I promise I’ll be okay. When the Rebellion accepts us, we can freely bunk together. I don’t mind waiting till then, so don’t worry, okay?”

Even though she lowered her arm, Catra kept her head up, brows furrowing. “Being alone during the night is harder than you might think…” she said, recalling her own difficulty her first night there.

“I also don’t have as much in my head to keep me up and bother me. Besides,” Scorpia retorted, before moving past it, “I think you should talk with Adora about the stuff you’ve told me. She looks like she wants to know, and help.”

Once again, Catra pulled her gaze down to hide her eyes. “Of course she does…” she muttered, shifting in Scorpia’s arms and crossing her own over her chest. “I got into trouble and she wants to fix it. That’s how it’s always been…”

Except, she knew Adora was different too. The naivety was long gone, replaced by the wear-and-tear of war. It was etched into her very skin. A lot of it was _her_ doing, too. Visual reminders of the things that she couldn’t take back. Things she couldn’t fix.

The same could be said for her own skin, too.

“What if that’s not what she’s wanting to do this time?”

Momentarily glancing up, Catra asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Scorpia smiled, tapping her own chin with her left pincer, “What if she’s not trying to fix anything, and she just wants to know how you feel? There’s a difference.”

Sighing again, her eyes stayed low and unfocused. “I know… That’s what she did last time. Didn't prod and poke at me. She… opened up first.” Almost absentmindedly as she spoke, Catra was running the tips of her fingers along the length of the forearm holding her. “...Talking to Adora is always hard.”

Even though she looked to be closing off, Scorpia knew better. Leaning a little forward, she pressed her forehead against Catra’s. “You know she cares about you. At least consider telling her? Maybe not tonight, but soon?” she asked, hopeful.

A very soft, barely audible purr vibrated in the close space they shared. She couldn't really help it. “...Guess I can do that. Why are you making such a strong case for Adora?”she asked, a hint of suspicion in her voice, but nothing of real concern.

She didn't need elaboration to know what Catra was referring to. “I know how important she is to you, so why wouldn't I?” Scorpia mused, “If you feel happy and safe with her, that's what I want you to have.”

Silence filled the space, Catra seemingly without any counter as she looked into Scorpia’s eyes with surprise. This time when she looked down, it was with a smile.

“Thanks, Scorpia.”  
  


* * *

 

  
The door clicked closed and even its soft sound felt too loud in the dimly lit bedroom. Following the terribly tense, near-silent affair that was dinner with the Queen, both Adora and Catra stood awkwardly in the open space, avoiding the eyes of the other without looking entirely away.

“...So,” Adora started, after working up the nerve to initiate a conversation. At least it got Catra to look at her, which was more than she could say for her attempts earlier in the evening. It almost made her falter on her words. “Tough day.”

“Tough day,” Catra repeated, much more dully, shifting her weight on her feet.

Even in private, there was little engagement. They stood there in silence, eyes locked on the other’s, for a long moment; neither of them certain what to do. It felt impossibly foreign and disconnected, so far away.

One of them had to do _something_.

It was Adora’s eyes that fell first, as she stepped towards the bed. She sat down and, resting her arms on her legs and leaning forward, laced her fingers together, facing Catra. Staring down at them, Adora took in a slow breath. “I’m not going to make you tell me anything. I believe you, implicitly. I’m sorry this happened, especially when I know how hard you’re trying. If you don’t want to talk tonight, that’s fine. I… I just want to know if you’re okay.”

Much like their first night, silence fell at the end of Adora’s words and hung lowly. The ball was in Catra’s court— she’d wait for any kind of response. A few seconds into the rising traces of doubt after a period of nothing spoken, without looking over at her, Catra quietly moved to sit on the other side’s edge. Arms crossed loosely over her chest, she sighed softly. “No, not really,” Catra finally said. “I’m… tired.”

Thumbs now twirling restlessly, Adora’s desire to keep her gaze low outweighed the urge to look up at her. “...Me too. I...” She stopped, letting her voice falter and sitting her tongue between her teeth. A moment of silence passed as she considered what she wanted to say, whether she _wanted_ to say it. “Can I tell you something?”

When she turned her head, Catra didn’t expect to see Adora’s hanging, thick brows furrowed as she stared at her shaking hands. It triggered a realization. Suddenly, the situation felt flipped, and she felt drawn to comfort Adora. She uncrossed her arms, letting them press against the bed. “...Yeah, of course.”

Adora’s eyes closed as she swallowed hard. “I… I had been thinking that I was just… losing it. There are moments where everything just pins me down and… I can’t do anything but ride it out. Overwhelmed by emotion, doubts, memories.” Her voice was surprisingly small, just barely a whisper and even quivering. It was a little alarming to Catra— she wasn’t sure she’s _ever_ seen Adora look so distressed and uncertain, not about anything. Her unprompted chuckle continued to bump up her concern. “I didn’t know just how terrified I am of ending up like Mara— the… the She-Ra before me. Every time I lost control of myself and couldn’t stop… feeling everything crawling up and down just beneath my skin…”

Catra figured out quickly what she was talking about— and it looked like Scorpia was right. She often was. She ignored the fleeting sense of suspicion about what may have encouraged this confession. It didn’t matter at this point, cause now it was out in the open. Now it needed attention.“And I don’t even think Mara _did_ go crazy. Light Hope just made it sound like such a bad thing and she tried to manipulate me with it. Doesn’t matter though, ‘cause telling myself that didn’t help at all. _Apparently_ , it’s a specific thing… ‘war attacks.’ Pretty fitting, don’t you think?” she said, trying to sound a little humorous.

In some twisted way, it was. Catra huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, guess so.” As Adora spoke, she noted how tightly her hands were being held together, as if trying to control the shaking. She didn’t really understand what Adora was talking about _here_ — she knew next to nothing about She-Ra that didn’t ever come up when they fought. Beyond Light Hope being a heartless, scary bitch and all of it having something to do with the First Ones, Catra was clueless. “...What happened to Mara?” she asked, softly.

She didn’t answer right away, still staring downward with an intense focus, her irises flickering around ever so slightly. “I don’t really know. Not any of the important details, anyway… According to Light Hope, she wasn’t able to accept her ‘destiny’ and responsibilities as She-Ra and… I guess she broke under the pressure? Went wild, destroyed stuff, broke the cycle. A thousand years passed before She-Ra came back… through me.”

Someone else as She-Ra wasn’t easily fathomable for Catra. It took a while, but she was eventually able to recognize that Adora’s whole princess thing wasn’t some weird phase or a power trip; that there was something bigger in store for her. Only really served to piss her off and motivate her more to being better than Adora. It hurt, knowing that it wasn’t chance and that this was always going to be what happened. There wasn’t any way Adora could escape, no real choice in the matter. It hurt, because it meant that she would end up falling behind her anyway, no matter what happened.

How was she supposed to _not_ hate She-Ra?

Catra realized she hadn’t said anything for too long a moment. “...And what do _yo_ u think happened?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe she realized something important and she chose to do everything she did. Rather than it all being random, it was intentional. But I doubt myself on that. I… I wanted _answers_ and all I have are more _questions_.” Adora let her hands go and pushed them up into her hair, continuing to use her arms to perch herself on her legs, as a rough sigh pushed out of her lungs. “Bow’s been doing his best to find First One’s ruins and unlock it’s tech, but it’s… it’s going very slowly.”

If she was being honest, Catra couldn’t care less where she came from. It wasn’t like she really remembered anything. Adora though… Adora had always been curious. Doesn’t look like she was ready for how big a deal her existence really was. “You know that thinking about ‘what could’ve been’ won’t really get you anywhere, right? I’d be the one to know. If you found out you were… fuck, I don’t know— born on another planet, what would that really change? Planning on shedding your skin and living a brand new life?”

Finally, she was prompted to look up and meet Catra’s weary eyes. Adora seemed a tad… critical, her eyes slightly narrowed but not in a way that suggested offense— rather, curiosity. “...What are you getting at?”

Catra broke the eye contact, visibly releasing some of her tension and put her arms behind her to hold her up as she leaned back. “I don’t get the desire to know something like that, and I’m not saying that finding out is stupid and doesn’t matter. Just… we can’t go back in time. We were taken in by the Horde and raised by them, and nothing can change that. If you want answers, use them to help you decide what to do next. The only way we go is forward…” The tone of her voice was low, spoken with an introspective softness.

The only reason it felt jarring to Adora was because she suddenly remembered certain details, something she felt she remembered hearing, ones that felt like they were from a dream rather than an actual memory. Something clicked.

_‘I don’t want to leave you behind.’_

_‘I don’t think it could’ve been avoided. I needed to be independent from you. I think I know that too.’_

“Catra,” she said, and in a way that called attention. One that felt compelling, and winding up for something. Catra turned her head back to look at her, uncertainty on her face. Adora smiled. “I’m… really proud of the person you’ve become. You’ve come a long way and that makes me really happy… I’m sorry you had to get hurt before you could grow.”

Even as Catra’s look turned stunned, Adora was sliding down the length of the bed to get close enough to put a hand on top of Catra’s. “Thank you for listening to me.”

Her eyes flicked downward at her touch, resisting the urge to jerk back from it. It felt warm, and Catra slowly started to relax. “Yeah,” she muttered softly, looking away. “Guess I get to help you find those answers, too.” She couldn’t help the small smile, and Adora wasted no time smiling even wider. Even in her dark, weary eyes, Catra could see the life in them.

“And I couldn’t be more happy to have it. I’m always going to be on your side, and I won’t make the same mistakes I did the first time.” To reinforce her words, she gently wrapped her fingers around Catra’s hand and squeezed gently. “I think you did the right thing, too. At the camp. It’s what _I_ would’ve done. The Queen believes you, too— She does.”

Catra didn’t look back up at her to regard the topic shift, only raising a finger to lightly scratch her nose. “...There was a detail I did neglect to mention. I was left a message in the building where I found the chained refugees. ‘You failed the puzzle.’ I’m not sure what it means, but I don’t like what it implies.”

“That’s…” Adora started, furrowing her brows in concentration, “That’s phrased really weirdly. Cryptic, even.”

“I don’t have enough information to even theorize,” she said softly, then simply shrugged. “I’d prefer if it were _tomorrow’s_ problem, though.”

The hand on top of Catra’s gave another small squeeze before withdrawing, understanding what she was getting at. “Good idea. Today’s lasted long enough.”

Adora rose from the bed, her hands raising up behind her head to pull her hair loose as she stepped towards the adjacent bathing room. “I’ll be out in a second, you can go ahead.”

Not a single part of her moved as she watched her walk off. Not until the door clicked closed and silence refilled the room. Catra sighed roughly, unconsciously rubbing her arms and closing her eyes. The idea of sleep made her drained body ache in desire for rest. She couldn’t say if more could’ve been said. If she would feel steady enough to open up more. Scorpia’s words, however, offered the comfort she needed.

She didn’t have to say everything right away, and Adora would wait for her.

Again, a meager but genuine smile crept across her face. Scorpia was usually right, and she was grateful to have her so close. Catra felt lucky to have her.  
  


* * *

 

  
“Catra, wake up,” said a whispering voice with a nudge of her shoulder. Shifting from where she lay curled at the foot of the bed, she forced an eye open to look up at Adora. The room was still quite dark; very early morning if she had to guess, but Adora was dressed like she was planning on hitting the training room.

Groaning, Catra started to slowly stretch, deliciously popping her joints. “What’re you wakin’ me for?” she muttered.

“You’ll see. Come on,” Adora answered, stepping back from the bed and sitting in the lounge chair as she waited.

Still, she wanted to take at least a little bit of time to work the grogginess out. Catra made a show of reaching out and stretching her body in the most cat-like ways possible— not that Adora was complaining. In the comfortable silence, she waited till Catra rolled off the edge and rose to her feet.

However, she stopped her from walking over to dress into day clothes by saying, “You’re gonna want to wait on that.” Adora lifted herself from the chair and with a ‘follow me’ gesture. Without further question, Catra did just that.

The light in the hallways of the castle were just as subdued as they were in the room, the sun not having yet fully broken past the horizon. Catra glanced out the windows as she passed them, looking out to the rest of Bright Moon— a powerful city hugging the defenses of the castle. It was a much brighter, beautiful scene, the sunlight reflecting off of them.

Now she understood the namesake. At first, she had looked at this place with contempt, looking through rose colored goggles and _searching_ for things to hate. Very quickly, in spite of everything, this place had become the only place she felt safe.

But even she knew that none of them were truly safe. The Horde will be coming, and it will be a force to be reckoned with.

Losing herself in her thoughts, Catra didn’t notice where she was following Adora to, and didn’t regain awareness until they were passing through an ornate pair of twin doors into a spacious, open courtyard of some kind. Flowers of all shapes, sizes and colors lined the rims, and the whole scene overlooked the rest of Bright Moon like a balcony.

When her eyes fell on the staves laying on the dirt, the ones Adora was walking directly to, she realized what they were going to do. Catra started to smirk, showing her anticipation.

She heard Adora laugh, and said as she tossed one of the staves to her, “Knew you’d be on board. Figured this would be easier than talking.”

Catching it without even thinking about it, Catra’s lips curled further into a cocky grin. “I hope you’re not thinking that this is gonna be _easy_.” With excessive flair, she twirled and spun the staff around her body until it locked into position along the length of her arm, tip hovering just above the ground at an angle.

Adora’s smile began to mirror Catra’s, as she bent and popped her neck, holding her weapon in front of her with both hands, a position of easy access. “I’d be disappointed if it was. It’s been a while, so let’s do this proper.”

“Happy to.” With her words, their conversation effectively shifting away from words entirely, they began to slowly circle one another in a wide curve. Eyes locked onto one another’s, the simple motion already working the adrenaline through them. An old dance thought forgotten now easily remembered and reborn. The excitement pumping through them both.

Neither of them needed to tell the other they were ready.

No warning, Catra’s smirk twitched, her front foot twisting as she pivoted off of it and closed the 10 meter gap in a hard dash, raising her staff overhead and slamming it down with double grip. It clashed harshly against the middle of Adora’s, brought up just in time to block. The collision of dense wood rattled in their hands, but no time was wasted as Adora flashed a confident grin.

Adora’s arms pushed hard, taking the offensive end of Catra’s weapon to the side and forcing open her form for attack. With the momentum, she kept going and brought her leg up in a high kick, aiming right for Catra’s head.

Ducking to a crouch and letting her staff slide down and free, Catra swung a wide sweep at Adora’s feet, which then jumped over it, scratching against the ground towards the end and raising a small dirt cloud. Catra rose back up just as Adora’s feet hit the ground again and had to rely on reflex to jerk backwards until she bent just at an uncomfortable level, just dodging the downward arc of Adora’s hard swing.

From that position, sliding a bare foot back roughly across the course dirt to support herself, Catra launched the end of her staff up, even letting it slide a little in that direction through her fingers to get more range from it. The look on Adora’s face as she moved her head only just narrowly avoiding the strike betrayed her surprise and quick acting, as she sucked in air tightly. Taking the brief opening, Catra continued bending backwards, using her other hand to stabilize her as she flipped back, and using a foot to hook and kick Adora’s staff right out of her hands and send it flying into the air. She used the same hand she arced over to push herself with the momentum a couple extra feet back.

Both of them were starting to pant. Catra looked up, just barely above a crouch, and met Adora’s hard, determined look head-on. Once again, she launched herself from the ground and charged, weapon locked along the length of her arm.

But Adora was ready, and as soon as Catra swiped with the heaviest part in the back portion curving around, arm flying past, Adora twisted her body and hooked her dominant arm around Catra’s and pinned it against her torso. Twisting further and holding the arm almost painfully tight, Adora heaved with a roar and pulled Catra over her back and threw her into the air.

While Catra curled her body into herself and rolled with the flow, hitting the ground with a solid thud— on her feet and knees— Adora rushed to her abandoned staff. As soon as it was in her hands, she spun around and took a heavy stance, both hands around the grip and pointed at Catra with an angle.

The two met eyes again, breathing hard, feeling their heartbeat push the adrenaline through their blood, the sweat dripping steadily from their bodies. Feeling the pain and tension of their minds dripping steadily from their bodies. All that they knew, all that they were aware of, were themselves and each other. The subtle twitches and flexing of the other's muscles in the slight adjustments to form in a natural precognition.

Then, flashing one another a fighting smile, they both rushed forward and the weapons slammed against one another loudly. Adora then started to swing the bottom end up, going in for a second hit, and with Catra’s twist to block, it was merely a mirrored position. As the staves were pressed and pushed together by the two warriors, the center of contact slid to the centers.

“Sturdy stuff—” Catra groaned out, impressed by the strength of the wood versus the strength of the wielder. All Adora could do was curl the edges of her mouth into a smug smirk as she pushed harder, starting to overpower Catra.

Suddenly shoving with a bout of extra force, Catra took her turn in swinging the bottom end up and unbalancing Adora, forcing her to step back. She kept on the offensive, while Adora just as fluidly kept her distance, both weapons spinning in their hands around their own bodies.

Until Adora stopped retreating and met Catra in another crossed collision, but Catra was having none of it. Almost immediately after feeling the smack, she kept pushing and pinned the end of Adora’s staff under the end of her own, and continued even beyond that. Barely scratching the dirt as she did so, Catra turned herself with the motion of pushing open the other’s guard, swinging the staff all the way around to come back to hit.

She didn’t anticipate Adora lowering herself and charging forward, forcing Catra to readjust, flipping her grip on her weapon as she swiftly side-stepped her. Now behind her, Catra resumed her plan to swing up the lower end of her staff against an open weak spot.

However, Adora was able to stop herself, pushing all of her momentum hard on her foot and bouncing it back the other direction and blocking the strike with a dual-grip, if at an awkward angle, only able to see Catra in her peripheral.

Carefully sliding one of her hands up the length, closer to the point of contact as Catra kept the pressure on, with both hands Adora completely let go of her staff, quickly crouching and grabbing Catra’s instead.

Using her pushing force against her, Adora began to pull Catra over herself. Catra caught on, though, and also let go of her weapon, leaving Adora momentarily confused when she found only a staff enter her view overhead. A mistake that was capitalized on.

Catra jumped onto Adora’s back without a care and used her like a springboard to propel herself forward. What she didn’t expect was for Adora to then raise the staff back up and manage to hook Catra’s back foot on it, bringing her and all her forward force crashing into the ground face-first.

She only had a moment to recoil and groan in pain as Adora stood back up to hold the staff overheard and charged her strength in it. On its way down, Catra was able to flip over onto her back and catch the striking end with both hands, one above the other on the grip. Her palms stung something awful, stopping the full force of Adora’s brute strength. They held a steady gaze with one another, their expressions furrowed and hard in the full, concentrated effort of their spar. Then, tangling her feet in Adora’s and tripping her one direction, Catra twisted her torso the other and pushed harshly against the staff, completely unbalancing her.

As Adora fell over, Catra rolled away and barely even got back on her feet before climbing just over her and pinning down her wrists, hands still holding the staff. She looked up, stunned, and Catra couldn’t help but flash a triumphant smile.

Adora chuckled weakly, and using the weight holding her down as an anchor, curled her legs up to her chest, rolling herself back and shoving Catra off and even flying through the air a small distance with pure leg power. Following right after, she pushed herself up, curving her back to hit the ground again on both feet.

To avoid a nastier fall, Catra managed to backflip in the air and land on her feet and knees, skidding a little across the dirt. Something she barely accomplished after being so forcefully winded. By this point, the both of them were breathing very audibly, no way to hide or mitigate it. It didn’t matter anymore.

Then she rushed forward, no weapon in hand. Adora raised hers, and heard the airy grunt from Catra when she collided with the staff. Catra’s eyes stayed completely locked on Adora’s as a hand clamped down as tight as possible onto one of Adora’s. Using her other arm to slip by and under Adora’s, faces a breath away from one another, Catra pulled with every back muscle possible to yank her over her shoulder and suplex her.

It was Adora’s turn to be winded. She hit the ground hard, the raw pain soaring through her whole body. Barely able to refill her lungs, the strain and wear throbbing all over. Her eyes stayed closed.

Only seconds afterwards did Catra drop to her hands and knees just before her, and set herself down slowly, turning onto her back and laying mirrored to Adora. The same kind of pain was coursing through her own body, and for a long time, all they did was focused on was breathing and resting.

Neither of them cared how long they laid there. All they knew was by the time either of them opened their eyes, the sun was out and bright, bathing them in its shine. Catra was content to stay that way.

With a strained, tired voice, “How do you feel now?” Adora asked.

She didn’t answer right away, too focused on her body to use her head for a quicker and more eloquent response. “On fire.”

“Great way to describe it.” They shared a weak laugh, breathing a lot easier.

A minute or two later, though, Catra spoke again. “...Better. I feel better.”

Reaching past her own head and gently resting on Catra’s mass of hair, stroking in small movements. “I’m glad. I do too.” Then, their hearts ached terribly. Both of them could tell that it was a mutual feeling with the involuntary crack in Adora’s voice when she added, “I was afraid I’d never be able to do that with you again…”

Guilt plucked at a chord in her heart. Catra sighed. “Guess we don’t have to worry about that anymore, right?”

Adora chuckled softly. “Right.”

A comfortable silence fell over them. The pain and physical stress calming down and dulling, but they didn’t really notice. It wasn’t anything new. Another timeless period passed, before they heard…

“Adora!”

Knowing exactly who it was, Adora groaned softly at the thought of effort, but breathed in after and forced herself to sit up just as Glimmer appeared next to her, and joining them momentarily after, Bow.

“What are you doing out here? Why were you laying on the ground?” she asked, sounding quite concerned.

Only when she raised a hand to smooth over her head did Adora realize a good chunk of it had gotten loose during the fight; simply didn’t notice it. “We were sparring,” she answered bluntly.

“Sparring?” Glimmer asked, incredulously. “You have bruises forming!”

Catra couldn’t help her rough snicker, which she’d know got her quite a side-eye if she had cared to look. Adora spoke over her before she could make any antagonizing comments. “This is normal. I’m fine. Really.” She gave a small smile before looking over herself a little. “Honestly surprised there aren’t more, now that I'm looking,” Adora added, glancing behind her to Catra, who still laid passively with her eyes closed, like she was half expecting an off handed remark.

“It _was_ the first time we’ve fought without actually trying to maul one another,” the other woman said. “Don’t think that I couldn’t tell you were holding back, though.”

Adora laughed with a hint of mock-offense as she turned herself partway, using her arm for support. “Well, I didn’t want to _hurt_ you. It was venting, not training.”

“There’s a difference?” Catra asked, rhetorically and with a laugh of her own.

Her response was a playful eye roll down at her. “ _Surprisingly_ , if we listen to Shadow Weaver.”

Catra’s scoff tore through her throat before she pulled herself up and also turned herself partway to face the rest of them. “And since when have I started doing that?”

“Never,” left Adora’s smiling lips almost instantaneously. “You went out of your way to make sure she knew that.”

A clawed finger lifted and pointed at her, “Damn fucking right I did! I’ve got a lot of regrets, but never bending the knee to that bitch isn’t one of them!” To accentuate her point, Catra half-heartedly shoved Adora’s shoulder, then pushed herself to her feet and raised her arms as far up as she could, bending back a little and taking delicious satisfaction in the series of pops.

Out of her peripheral, Adora could see Glimmer narrow her eyes just a touch as she looked Catra up and down. It was Bow who said something, though. “How long have you guys been up?”

“Before the break of dawn,” Catra answered. “Adora's made it a very clear point to get up and spar as early as I’d be able to tolerate.”

As Adora joined the rest of her friends on their feet, she lightly shoved Catra back. “How else were we supposed to get the better version of Lukewarm Disappointment ahead of everyone else?”

Turning on her heel, Catra again lifted a finger and chuckled pointedly. “ _You_ don’t get to talk about Lukewarm Disappointment. You’ve been living the life in your perfect purple palace!” Very dramatically, she pressed her open palms against her chest. “Do you know what kind of suffering that was? Didn’t matter that I was a Force Captain either— we did _not_ get ‘I’m better than and outrank you’ privileges.”

Hand on hip, Adora flashed the other two an apologetic smile. “I told you that we wouldn’t, but you didn’t want to let go of your delusion.”

“Whatever,” Catra quickly disregarded, arms lifting up and folding over, interlocking her fingers behind her head. “It was a shitty job anyway. I only barely managed to not get myself killed.”

Everyone then felt mildly uncomfortable for a moment, before Glimmer spoke again, crossing her arms. “Don’t worry, you’ll get to tell my mom _aaaaall_ about it after we eat.”

While Catra let her eyes harden as she examined the princess, Adora cut in while she still had the opportunity. “A meal sounds awesome. Just let us change into something… not sweaty, and we can go.”

She kind of just shrugged. “We’re not in any hurry,” Glimmer said, “But mom does want to… talk, before the evening court. She can only detain the War Council for so long.”

Wisely, a silent decision that Adora showed she appreciated through a shared look, Catra chose not to comment. “Is there anything _we_ need to do while they’re doing that?” Adora asked, looking at her and Bow.

“Just downtime. Bow’s waiting on the F.O. research report.”

“Should be here in the next few days— The last report said they’re really close to something big,” Bow added, excitedly, and smiled wider seeing Adora’s eyes widen in the same excitement.

“A lead?”

“Probably! Dani said she’s close to cracking the map we found in the Quarry. She’s theorized that it might be able to lead us to other structures still connected to the Network.”

They were being vague enough, knowing Catra had minimal details to contextualize what they were talking about, but she was smart enough to figure it out. The expression Adora was wearing said everything on its own.

Thankfully, she didn’t need to be the one who cut in. Glimmer, placing a hand on one of Bow’s arms, tried to respectfully interrupt. “If we’re gonna have time to eat, we should probably get going.”

The other two flashed another smile at one another, Adora running a hand over her head and through the bit of loose hair, briefly pushing it out of her face. “I like that idea,” she laughed.

Bow and Glimmer started to turn and walk, fully expecting to be followed. While she and Catra did, Adora made sure to flash her a smile, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to look at the post date of chapter 10 because I don't need that kind of negativity in my life LMFAO
> 
> I'm so so sorry that this has taken such a long time. Summer's here, Pride's here, I had a lot of shit going on between being explicitly gay and coping with extra bad depression (because Summer fucking SUCKS— TEXAS SUCKS!!!!) and when mental health hits, *it hits.* BUT! I made a breakthrough in my outline for how I want to handle (in far more detail) plotlines that will soon come into play, and I've been struggling with that for even longer than it took for me to finish this chapter. I didn't even finish it till an hour ago! (its 11pm BUT ITS STILL TECHNICALLY SUNDAY— later than I thought it'd be because I had to go to the archery range today rather than yesterday, but its fine!)
> 
> A much softer chapter, I'm starting to lay down important groundwork with the other characters. Boy do I have so much planned for y'all. I hope this tasteful chunk of Catradora interaction is enough to earn your forgiveness! As always, I love hearing your thoughts and comments. I'll keep trying to work around my mental health (it helps that I've been feeling better and actually working hard against very bad unhealthy habits I'm struggling with BUT WILL EVENTUALLY CONQUER WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND DEDICATION because I am THAT type of bitch)
> 
> (And did I intentionally make that 'Wildcat' comment as a result of Scorpia's completely unveiled and blunt canon gay affection for Catra? Yes I did.)
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you liked it, and I'd appreciate any and all encouragement. This is also definitely self-indulgent for me and my close friends, but honestly? I do have a skeleton plot worked out but if there's stuff any of you want to see written, well shit I'll definitely consider it. Why the hell not? 
> 
> I also hope I end up doing these characters and their stories justice. I will try to post on a regular basis, so for right now expect updates on Sundays. When on Sundays? No idea, but Sundays.


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